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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Using a bosses kids name?

7 replies

MollMar · Today 01:56

I am about to have our second soon. We don't know the sex of the baby (my gut says boy fwiw) but our top girl name is still the top name I had when I had my first daughter. For my daughter, we had the name narrowed down to 2 names, one of which was my dad's mothers name and this other name, but my daughter was unexpectedly born on Father's day and, as my dad never got to meet her because he died when I was a teen, we decided to go with his mothers name as it just felt more fitting, it also fits her personality so much better too. Well now we are back to making lists for girls and boys and I still adore this girl name after 3 years. However, my husband is having second thoughts about it as it's his bosses daughter's name and he says he'd be embarrassed to announce to her that he had copied her daughter's name. For context, her daughter is 9 years old, it's a small workplace and he has a good relationship with her. We don't see each other much outside of work but they do live close to us so we occasionally see her family out and about. The name in question is not super common, but not rare. It's fairly common in the UK and Australia (likely in the top 20-50 of names) but we currently live in the USA and it's not as commonly used here(definitely outside the top 100). I don't plan to live in the USA forever, hoping to move home in the next 2-5 years but my husband is likely to stay in this job until we leave. He seems so hesitant about using the name it's turning me off using it as I obviously want us both to love our kids name like we do with our first.

OP posts:
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DeftGoldHedgehog · Today 01:58

It's daft to worry about this.

Inmyuggs · Today 01:59

Call the baby whatever you prefer.
I was delighted when i read my card from work zpmeone in managements child had thr same.name....written lovely name..then I twigged.
I wouldnt worry about it.

BoleynMemories13 · Today 06:37

I wouldn't think twice. Your husband and his boss are merely colleagues, not family or best friends. It's very normal for colleagues to have children with the same names. The children will literally have nothing to do with each other. I can understand his fear of looking like you're copying if the other child is just months old, but she's 9!

If he really feels awkward about potentially just announcing it at birth, he could sow the seed earlier. Next time his boss mentions their daughter tell him to simply say "I love her name by the way, it's what we're probably going to call our baby if it's another girl. It was one we considered for (first child) and we still love it now. It's actually quite popular in England right now". Then leave it at that. He's not asking permission, which he doesn't need and would be odd to do, but he's preparing them that his new baby might be called the same name as their daughter, so it's not an unexpected surprise at birth. I don't normally advise sharing name choices before the birth, but I think in these circumstances I would advise it if he's feeling a bit awkward about using the same name. His boss having a child with the same name is definitely not a reason to avoid using a name you both love.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · Today 06:52

This is definitely not an issue

pambeesleyhalpert · Today 07:08

My mum and her best friend have kids with the same name- she always said it was a compliment! You wouldn’t use the name of the kid or boss were awful!

AustenitesUnite · Today 07:15

Please, please use the name you've chosen. My DB & DSIL didn't use the name they had always wanted as a couple in their church used it for their DD. They always regretted not using it . . . it wouldn't have been an issue and the other couple eventually moved anyway.

The reverse could always happen ~ you could choose a name that no-one in your circle of family, friends and acquaintances has and then, several months or years later, someone new enters your circle with that name. It's really not an issue

overwork · Today 07:32

My colleague always commented on how much she loves my child’s name and as soon as she found out the sex of her baby, asked if we’d mind if she used it. It is an unusual name, there were about 9 children named it last year. Anyway of course I don’t mind, it’s not like we socialise together and there would ever be any confusion. And it’s not like I could own a name anyway! Maybe he could just mention to his boss the name is on your shortlists and I assume she’ll be delighted

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