Are middle names necessary if we cannot find one we like?

[BrightonBuzz]

We're not giving our DD a middle name. There are almost no names that sound right with the sort of first name that we've chosen, and I refuse to use a basic one (Rose, Grace, Mae, Anne, Marie, etc.) that I dislike just for her to have one. However, my mum is insisting that we give her one but cannot articulate why we should. I have never used my middle name and only know the middle names of a handful of people in my life (my parents, my DH, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my best friend). Outside of the tradition of it, they seem rather useless. Surely, they wouldn't be optional if it was that important? Thoughts?

I don't have a middle name and I would be fine with that....but both my brothers have not one but two middle names!!! So it felt unfair and also a teeny bit mysogenistic. Fine if you are consistent though

I don't have a middle name, neither do my sisters. My Dad thought them unnecessary. My kids don't have middle names either my husband said he couldn't see the point unless they were for a reason. I.e a family name. I must admit I tend ro agree.

Do you need the hyphen?

BIL goes by middle name as hates his first name

As a woman who loved her maiden name, but fell in love and married someone with a very common surname, I am glad that I have a middle name as I personally know three other people with the same forename and surname as me at work!

It’s only our initials that allow differentiation as the alternative email address would be first name, surname and then a number - this happens at work where there is not a middle name.

e.g
Jane.Doe@
Jane.Doe2@
Jane.Doe3@

I don’t have one and I’m an only child so I thought this should a distinct lack of imagination on my parents part. Friends at school never believed I didn’t have one and just thought my middle name was so awful, I didn’t want to share it. I know most people don’t use them in daily life but I really wished I’d had one when I was younger. I made sure my child had one .

I have one, my husband does too, son has 2. Both my best friends and my dad don’t have one at all.

Its entirely up to you

I didn’t have a middle name. I always wanted one from the age of 6. I felt very left out without one, especially as my grandmother, mother and Daughter all have the same one. I now have it too.

Please give her a middle name.

I do not have one. My mum did not have one. My dad did have one. My brother had one - the same one as my dad. Apart from the odd feeling of puzzlement as a child, I have survived very well without one. My daughter, however, has three names, the third to honour my closest friend and whose three children are my godchildren. An ex of mine was astonished that my parents had been so lax and gave me one himself.

There is no need for anyone to have a second name. If you are happy with the first name, that's enough.

Didn't give DS one.
He told me off aged 8 and gave himself one, which i still use to this day lol

Could your maiden name be her middle name?

None of us in my family have to one although we have a pretty distinct surname but I’ve never felt like I’m lacking something.

My middle name is so dull I'm not sure why my parents bothered.
That said, I like the idea of using a relative's first name as a middle name, something that means something rather than something generic. Or a favourite flower for a girl.

middle names are only ever known at birth, marriage and death.

they really don’t matter.

DH doesn’t have one. It’s never been an issue

How will your DC know they are in trouble if they don't have a middle name? Lol my DS has 2 middle names (after family members) and if he gets called by all 4 names (first name, middle name, middle name, surname) then he knows he's in trouble and my DD always says "ooooh you got 4 named what did you do?" DD on the other hand has only the one middle name and for no clear reason she only gets '2 named' when shes in trouble, first name and middle name, very rare she gets '3 named' with her surname tagged on 🤷🏼‍♀️😂
Jokes aside if you can't find one you like then no i wouldn't give your DC a middle name just for the sake of having one

My sister and I were not given middle names. She has a three letter first name and since getting married a three letter last name, so her whole name is shorter than many first names!

When I got married, I kept my maiden name as a middle name.

Maybe have a relatives name as a middle name-eg you mum or Nan etc rather than a filler name. One of my granddaughters has my aunts name as her middle name as she never had any children so it's a way of keeping her memory alive.

If you don’t give a middle name then make sure you don’t give future children one also.

i don’t have one- both my brothers have two middle names each -as they were boys and carry a family middle name and my dad cared what they were called but not me.

my three children all have middle names . One has a very normal first name so have an unusual second name. Another vice versus another we couldn’t agree on names and all have my surname as middle name as not married to dad.

I havnt got one thank goodness, the one name my parents chose was bad enough.

I dont have one but have always rather wished I did.
Not sure why though, maybe just so I could use it if I wanted to.

I dumped mine and half of my first name.

I think there are 2 reasons for a middle name

1. your name is really commen eg John Smith
2. you have a rich relative who may remember you in their will if you use their name

No need for a middle name at all. I changed my name by Deed Poll and ditched the original middle name.

You can easily and legally change your name to anything you like. Why not just do that and give yourself a middle name? You get to choose it too.

I don’t either.

In what ways? FWIW I don’t have a middle name either

I don’t have one and neither does my DH, neither of us feel hard done by. Both our dc do. It’s your and DH decision, nod politely to your mum and register your daughter with the name you have both chosen.