Are middle names necessary if we cannot find one we like?

[BrightonBuzz]

We're not giving our DD a middle name. There are almost no names that sound right with the sort of first name that we've chosen, and I refuse to use a basic one (Rose, Grace, Mae, Anne, Marie, etc.) that I dislike just for her to have one. However, my mum is insisting that we give her one but cannot articulate why we should. I have never used my middle name and only know the middle names of a handful of people in my life (my parents, my DH, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my best friend). Outside of the tradition of it, they seem rather useless. Surely, they wouldn't be optional if it was that important? Thoughts?

DH doesn't have one, nor does my mum or aunt. They seem to get on ok.

I haven't got one and love it.

They're not necessary at all.

I quite like having one though and would try and find one that meant something/had a story round it for my DC.

I don't have a middle name, my first name is long so they probably couldn't be bothered to give me another, i can't say it has done me any harm,

My Dc have family middle names, which i quite like as an honour thing the names run through generations of the family,

Do doesn’t have one and it is a pain- in two workplaces he has been given ‘x’ as a middle initial because their email addresses and log ins are based on first middle initial, it has also caused slight issues with visa/immigration processes in some jurisdictions.

I would definitely choose one, whether it’s ‘basic’ or not, and I say this as someone who removed my middle name from things like my passport as it’s long and was a faff.

None of my in-laws have middle names. FiL says it makes form filling so much easier.

I've often wondered what the point of them is. My parents, siblings and children don't have a middle name.

I’ve never needed one and as my surname has to be spelt, it makes life easier

No one in my family has one. My mum likes to joke that ‘we couldn’t afford middle names’. It doesn’t seem to have impacted any of us in a negative way 🤷🏻‍♀️. And I agree with you that no middle name is better than a basic one! No word of a lie about 80% of my friends have the middle name Louise. What’s the point of that? 😂

My parents gave me a middle name. I didn’t like it, so I got rid of it! Not necessary at all.

They are not necessarily. Neither of my parents have one and it hasn’t caused them any issues at all. I like choosing middle names and my children both have one. But that is personal preference and does not mean that everyone needs a middle name.

I don’t have one. It’s never mattered, and I can’t see why it would.

We gave our DC middle names because DH wanted to. But I wasn’t fussed either way.

I don’t have a middle name . My siblings don’t have one . My father doesn’t have one . And none of my kids have one . And none of my siblings kids have them . My mother has 3 middle names and always hated it . I’ve always liked not having one because i think they are completely pointless . People are sometimes surprised when i say I don’t have one

I don’t have one - never bothered me nor caused me any problems. No middle name is better than one you don’t like for the sake of it.

Don't know if you like this idea but I know someone whose middle name is just a letter/initial (think Charlotte G Jones). It looks quite dignified and professional IMO. You could do that.

It's certainly not compulsory to give your child a middle name.

I only gave mine a middle name because its always annoyed me that when people ask me for mine they can't quite believe I don't have one. Neither does my sister, my parents said they found it hard enough to agree on one name they both liked.

I haven't got one and i have never felt as though I missed out because of it even though some if my siblings have them. It has never bothered me

I wouldn't advise doing this. People will.constatly ask what the initial stands for. It's much better just not to have one

I agree that the 'filler names' such as Mae, Rose, Grace aren't necessary unless they are to honour a relative etc.

I do have a middle name. The reason being, my 1st name isn't common and my parents thought that if I hated it, I'd have lots of options from my middle name- which has over 6 nick names that could be used from it.

Its a personal thing, but when I see a degree, PhD, certificate with just 'Jane Smith' I do think its a shame that the don't have a 'formal' name and their parents could only think up 'Jane'. Yes, I might be flamed but its how I feel.

It's not an obligation. Though if you find one you like and/or are honouring a loved ancestor, so much the better.

My mother-in-law would have liked a middle name, she thought her first name was very dull - "Mary".
I have a couple of friends who use their middle names as they prefer them to their first names. For instance one was called "Thelma" - she loathed it and it would have caused her to be seriously teased when she was at school.

My Lithuanian friend also had to choose a fake middle initial for her work email address. It wasn’t really a problem, though.

She told me that most Lithuanians don’t have middle names, although I do note that her own (half-British) child has one.

Unless coming from a country where it's not the norm, I've never understood why someone would decline to give their child a middle name. You get to pick another name that you like, and your child has a middle name to include when it's asked for. If they happen to not like their first name then they also have another obvious option available to them. It's the parents' choice, though.

I have a middle name and would not like not having one. I would add one if my parents hadn't given me one.

Another thought is that a minority of people are known by their middle names, not their first names. Presumably their middle names just suited them better?

You don’t have to give your child a middle name, but isn’t it nice for them to have another option/back up?

I think it's a good idea if you are giving your child a "chalk and cheese" name. Something that's a bit risky! At least then if they hate it they can use their middle name instead.
But if the name you've chosen is normal/unembarrassing as a self conscious teenager then a middle name isn't necessary.