Are middle names necessary if we cannot find one we like?

[BrightonBuzz]

We're not giving our DD a middle name. There are almost no names that sound right with the sort of first name that we've chosen, and I refuse to use a basic one (Rose, Grace, Mae, Anne, Marie, etc.) that I dislike just for her to have one. However, my mum is insisting that we give her one but cannot articulate why we should. I have never used my middle name and only know the middle names of a handful of people in my life (my parents, my DH, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my best friend). Outside of the tradition of it, they seem rather useless. Surely, they wouldn't be optional if it was that important? Thoughts?

I don’t have one and I love not having one.

Also got to avoid the whole thing at school where kids mocked others for different middle names. I’ve actually preferred not having one all of my life.

my dd does have one as at the time it had a lot of meaning for our family. However pregnant again and now sort of picking one for the sake of it purely because DD has one and feel the other now needs one too.

Not necessary to have one, I have 3 and it’s not done me any favours.

I don't have one but seems unusual when I'm asked my full name somewhere official. I gave all mine a second name in case they didn’t like their first.

What I would say is if you have more than one child please do the same for all, my brother had a second name and made me feel less important than him.

I don’t have one, it’s never been a problem.

Unless its a family name I don't see the point of them.

Strangely my MIL was the middle child and didn't have one but all her other siblings did, the inconsistency annoyed her for nearly 90 years 😆. She thought her Mum was wanting another boy and couldn't be arsed!

I had my mum's name as a middle name, my brother dad's. My nephew had his mum's maiden name as a middle name. More about the history, than the sound.

I'm thinking of middle names of people I know: Sophie, Angharad, Joyce, Linda, Josephine, Marie, Lauren, Violet, Erica, June. None of them bland at all. I wouldn't give a child a pointless middle name like May or Rose, but I'm definitely in favour of choosing another good name.

In my friend’s family, the sons (her brothers) all have middle names but the daughters don’t. I do find that weird and unfair!

I have one and it was used in school as there were three girls with the same first and last names so our middle names were used to differentiate between us.

Anne-Marie? I think there are middle names that work with hyphenated first names, probably ones with a different number of syllables from the first name(s).

Quite a few of my Victorian relatives have their mother's maiden name as a middle name. For instance a great grand-aunt has Watson as her middle name.

I'm going to go against the grain and say give them a middle name. I don't have one, but my older brother does, it always made me feel like my parents just couldn't be bothered coming up with one

I don’t have one and I’ve always felt short changed, not helped by the fact that I hate my first name.

They are optional.

I find them very useful when researching family history. The existance of a middle name offers a way to ascertain the identity of g.g. grandparents etc.

If you decide that you will give one to your daughter, look amongst names of people you admire, plants you adore or places that are meaningful.

Everybody in 1972 seemed to be given Jane or Louise as a middle name
I think they should have some sort of meaning ie/ grandparents’ names
As a teacher my new Year 7s think I am a witch when I say that I could guess their grandparents’ names (I just looked at their full names on my paperwork!)
For example:
Jayden Bernard
Lexi Carol
Gracie Christine
Callum Martin

But my granddaughter doesn’t have a middle name and I did think it was strange (I kept my mouth shut though!) - she has a v v short first name aswell but her parents said it was because she has a long (double-barrelled) surname.

Never had one and it hasn’t done me any harm

None of my DH, DC or myself have middle names. DH never had one. I absolutely hated mine as a child and got rid of it when I changed to my married name. Not many people I know like their middle names, it's like an embarrassing secret. We didn't give either of my children middle names. It's completely superfluous.

I love a middle name, although I find my own a bit bland. Do I use it? No, unless filling out a form.

None of my DH’s family have one though and I remember when we were expecting our first DC (pre-marriage), he was really pushing for no middle name as “[his family name]s don’t have middle names”. I gave him a choice of ‘middle name + his surname’ or ‘no middle name + my surname’ because my family do.

I do think it depends on the name though. DH and all his siblings have one syllable names and a one syllable surname and, while nice enough names, they all sound a bit like there’s something missing. Longer names probably don’t. My 3 DC all have short names and a one syllable surname and their names sound better and more substantial with a middle name. Each to their own though!

I would hate not to have a middle name.

I don’t have one and it’s never been an issue. My sister hates hers (Louise) and is trying to get rid of it! DH’s is his dad’s first name. Pointless as he obviously can’t go by it.

My children have a hyphenated surname which is a mouthful so neither have a middle name. My brother and I don't have them and it's not had any effect other than someone going "oh really?" when I said I didn't have one.

Came to say that DH has had to invent a middle name initial for his email address because even with a relatively uncommon surname all variations of his first name/initial plus surname were already taken. Thought it was a niche issue but can see a few others have already mentioned it. Doesn’t make them necessary in the slightest but I don’t think they’re entirely useless either.

I don’t have one and have never given it a single thought.

my DS has a slightly obscure family one and it only recently became apparent that he had no idea (he’s 14) 🤣

me or my siblings don't have one, never had any issue without one. I gave my Dc middle names but quite honestly don't see they have much purpose!

I am very surprised at this! I’ve never had an issue with work or visas, neither has anyone I know. I’m surprised work use middle names in emails, I’ve not encountered this before - seems a bit intrusive!!