Help! 6 week deadline is here! Is it a problem to use DD1's middle name for DD2???

[Missybaby]

Gave DD1 our two favourite names in case next child was a boy. Next child was a girl, so.... want to call DD2 DD1's middle name. Do you think this is a problem? DH thinks they will argue about it in years to come. Please tell me what you think. Got the appointment with registrar later today and our 6 weeks is up (yes, we have been arguing this point for several weeks....). Really don't know what to do!

Not sure if it is a good idea tbh.

Have you no other options?

I think DD2 would feel second best.

I wouldn't. Isn't there another name you can use?

I should add that I do not have a middle name and perhaps this is why I cannot see any problem with it...

They probably will argue about it in the future, but they'll argue about everything, lol!

Not sure how I'd feel if my (hypothetical) older sister had my middle name for a first name? Or vice versa.

Well, i thought i would tell DD2 that we gave our favourite names to DD1 and that's why her name is DD1's middle name. If I gave her another name, then surely that is third best if you know what i mean?

What is it, Missybaby? Try to see whether MN can come up with a great alternative.

Slightly different but my Mum did something like this. My parents had a baby girl who died shortly after birth. They called her by a name that my Mum loved. Mum went on to have 2 more girls and used other names but then had another surprise baby when I was 15 and used the name of the baby who had died. My youngest sister has always hated the fact that she didn't have her 'own' name. I know it is not quite the same but your DD2 may feel the same. I think I would too to be honest.

TBH I would rather not say as that will get me into a whole other debate . have checked the name in mumsnet search and surfice to say it's loved and loathed!

Message withdrawn

Buda - similar situation with my friend. She was given the same name as her older sister, who had died as an infant. There was always the comparison between her, a normal girl/woman with flaws, and her idealised, perfect older sister.

I wouldn't do it. If I was your DD2 I would feel second best to DD1.

Ooh no, I think they'll both feel a bit weird about it when they're older. Surely there must be other names you like? What if you have three more kids and they're all girls?

Don't do it: it says we gave you her spare name rather than thinking of a name just for you. There must be more than 2 girls names you like?

BTW, we had terrible time with DD2: we gave her a name & registered it but then another nickname stuck so we had to incorporate that name when we christened her...

IME DDs are quite keen on the whole where did you get my name from discussions as they grow older and "we couldn't think of anything else" won't wash!

Family members of mine who are brothers share a name (eldest's middle name is the youngest's first name). They don't mind in the slightest.

I wouldn't even hesitate to do it.

I would be gutted if I had my sister's middle name for my name.

Sigh, I don't know. Surely any second born daughter or son is given 2nd best name as the best was already given to DD1 or DD2? I just can't see why it's an issue... but obviously there is an issue if you all think so .

DH and I can't agree on any other names...

We have friends who named ds1 Harry James and ds2 James Harry. The boys are teenagers now and I've never heard them complain about their names.

I don't think I'd do it to my dcs, although I have no good reason why not, I just don't like it.

Thank you showofhands! Some support!
I have a friend who says the same about her 2 brothers.
Maybe it's girls who will have a problem with it as opposed to boys.

Hello Bianca, my DH says if we are going to name DS2 DS1's middle name then we need to give DS2 DS1s first name as her middle name (like your friend). Perhaps this isn't such a bad idea. Might help stop arguments...

Actually Bianca's friend's idea isn;t a bad one - at least if you gave dd2 dd1's middle name as a 1st name and her 1st name as a middle name you could explain that those two names were your favouritest names ever and fortunately whn dd1 was born she looked just like an Edna Phylis and dd2 looked just like a Phylis Edna....

I don't think you could do it any other way though without the younger one feeling 2nd best.

Come on - we must be able to find you another name!!!

Have you no imagination?

DD2 would feel less special, not having a name that is hers. Big mistake, please dont do it. Whatever you call her, dont call her a name that alredy belong to her sister.

And for your dd1, being robbed of her name?

This is so stupid, I cant believe it is possible to even consider it?!

My father has cousins who are twins and have eachother's names and everyone teased them at school as they said their parents were simple!! This was 50 years ago and I doubt anyone would know about your girls names. It sounds as if you think it may not be the best idea anyway, hence the thread?

My younger niece's first name is her elder sister's middle name. Originally they registered the younger daughter with 2 different names but when she was a few months old they realised they never used her given name and the only name they could agree on was their elder daughter's middle name. So they paid to change her names - I think you can within the first year. So neither of her names are the same as they originally were.

They are 18 and 15 now and don't seem in the least bit bothered. After all, you never use your middle name anyway, and DN2 prefers a shortening of her name.