Name regret

[BirdieLots]

I am suffering from huge name regret. Baby is 6 weeks old.
I'm worried that if we change the name, we will be met with judgement from friends and family.
I really regret not using the name I always thought I would have, I feel like I made a silly decision in the midst of post partum hormones, and DH also vetoed the name this time around as felt it was getting too popular. At the time I agreed, but now baby is here I only feel baby is that name and not the one we used.

What is the name?

Six weeks is fine to change names - I didn't register my son until he was six weeks (I actually forgot to register him so I had a call reminding me!).

If you've tried the name and it doesn't feel right then I'd say go ahead and change it whilst baby is still so young.

Do t worry about what other people think, just text your family and say "we have decided that Name X doesn't suit our baby - from now on s/he will be named Name Y". No explanation, no engagement with follow up texts. Just confirm "yes, s/he is now called Name Y".

All the best 😀

It's fine to change the name (although will your DH agree, if he vetoed it?)

People might be surprised/curious when you tell them, but it will be quickly forgotten!

The only people who matter here and you and your DH - would he not veto the name this time around? Have you had the conversation with him?

Who cares what friends and family think? If they love you, they will support you. By the time the baby is one year old no one will even remember this ever happened really.

@SoManyDandelions He really likes the name, he just felt it was too popular. Had I have stood my ground a bit more baby would have absolutely been that name!

@Arlanymor Thank you, I know, I just get so anxious I let other people's opinions get the better of me and influence my decisions far too much.

@Arlanymor Thank you, I know, I just get so anxious I let other people's opinions get the better of me and influence my decisions far too much.

Well, whose feelings are more important here -- yours or other people's?

We hadn't even registered DS by the age of six weeks -- I think he was nearly ten weeks, and we only finally decided on his name on the way to register him.

Talk to your DH, get his full agreement and support and then look into it. Yes you'll have to remind people but it's early days. Your child isn't used to being called a name yet. I'd swap the other name to have 2 middle names.

6 weeks is the perfect time for a name change
Baby has no concept of their name, in a few weeks all of the adults will be used to her new name

You don't want to be in this position when she's 2 and knows her name!

Fwiw, having a really popular name is a bit of a drag. My daughter has a top 10 name and it's a bummer when there's a second one at nearly every baby group we go to.

Still, I chose the name because I love it. If I'd have loved a less popular name as much, I'd have gone with that

Change it. I do understand the people pleasing urge! But this is too important. Trust your gut for sure. I have a similar situation in that a friend recently chose my top baby name not knowing I had wanted it for years (I deliberately keep them to myself as think it unfair to try and shotgun names - especially popular ones which this is). Not told her yet but if the sex of our baby matches the name then it is highly likely we will also be using it. I will worry a bit about what she thinks (wrongly if she thinks we copied) but have resolved to do it anyway!

I'd change it if you want to. Other people won't care or remember this time in the way you do anyway, it'll be a flash in the pan of interest for them at most. You could even keep this current name as a middle name so that gets rid of any drama associated with 'removing' their name - you're just adding an extra one (albeit at the front of their name!).

Change it, it's only been 6 weeks.

Definitely change it as it sounds like you are quite sure, and baby is so little.

Hello, I am sorry you're experiencing this. So did I, and still happening to me and baby is 5.5mths now. I am on meds for a ppa but it is still lingering, I delayed the change due to others saying I shouldn't and now it will be harder to do so, but finally realising it won't shift so best to do it later than never. So I say, if you're more than 90% certain, go for it and hope your OH is supportive xx

I would change it at only 6 weeks old.

Bollocks to everyone else. Do what YOU think is best, as long as you can convince your DH. If you feel comfortable stating the names here, you will get some honest opinions, I'm sure.

Just about me, I tried for 20 years to have DD. Lots of IVF and hoping. For the entire 20 years I had a name for her which we used when she was born. After about a couple of weeks of having her, the name starting grating on me and I couldn't stand the sound of it. We then called her a nickname for 11 years. She has recently started high school where nicknames are not allowed, so has reverted to her full name. And I actually realize now I love it!

Do what you want, it's not too late x

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, I really wouldn’t worry too much about people’s reactions. Within a few weeks people will have completely forgotten, It’s how you feel is the most important, if your partner is on board trial using the preferred name for a couple of weeks then if you’re both happy just swap & say you think this new name suits her better. I think it would be nice to keep her original name as a middle name - goodluck!

Change it now. Who gives a fuck what other people think

6 weeks is nothing just change it :)

I should also add baby has an older sibling who has been referring to baby as current name so I also worry about the confusion it will cause 😅

Yes we would definitely keep current name and move it to middle if we changed it

That's a great idea. Just shift the current name to the middle, and initially use both names ie saying Susie Jane (for eg) then eventually drop the Jane and transition to the name u always wanted. Follow your gut. Its definitely not too late to change. 6 week olds dont have a clue what's going on and their sibling will soon get used to it.

I am suffering from huge name regret. Baby is 6 weeks old.
Keep an eye on your mental health, you come across as being anxious, and
you could start obsessing about the name. Speak to your practice nurse or GP.

I'm worried that if we change the name, we will be met with judgement from friends and family.
You won't unless they are a bunch of small-minded and judgemental people.

I really regret not using the name I always thought I would have, I feel like I made a silly decision in the midst of post partum hormones, and DH also vetoed the name this time around as felt it was getting too popular. At the time I agreed, but now baby is here I only feel baby is that name and not the one we used.
Change it. It will be easy to change it now, far easier than continuing to regret that you didn't originally use the name.

I should also add baby has an older sibling who has been referring to baby as current name so I also worry about the confusion it will cause 😅
Assuming that the sibling is under 5, the old name will have been forgotten in days.

The main thing is that you CAN change it.

"Can I change my baby's name after I've registered it in the UK?
Yes, if you decide that you've made the wrong name choice for your little one, you can amend the first names (but not surname) on their birth certificate within 12 months from the time the birth was registered.

You do so by going along to your local Register Office (with all the necessary paperwork), as you did when you first registered your baby's name. You will be charged a fee for the certificate to be amended."

(Want to change your baby's name: how to do it legally in the UK? | MadeForMums)