Family trying to put us off a name

[lookingforanamex]

Trying to choose a name for DD2. Been really struggling to find anything we like. We like Liliana (‘-ana’ would be pronounced ‘-anna’ in our area’s accent) but DP’s 10 year old niece has a name ending in -anna (double n) but the start of the name is different.

Family also commonly call niece by her nickname, which is the start of her name, so we thought they might do the same with our baby, and call her Lily for short which would mean there was no similarity at all.

When family asked about our name ideas, MIL was indignant that we couldn’t use ‘niece’s name’.

Later, SIL started sending name ideas to us and asking our opinion so we assume she didn’t like the idea either.

A week later, on the wider family group chat, DP was asked again what names are on the list and Liliana was on there. The next morning, MIL called DP to tell him that niece had now been crying that baby cousin will be stealing her name. Niece isn’t in the group chat and wouldn’t put it past MIL/SIL to plant this idea with her to guilt trip DP and I.

Are we out of order for considering a name that ends in the same sound?

If we are, has anyone got any ideas for other names we might like? Feeling pretty gutted tbh.

That would have been how I’d have dealt with it if DD1 was crying about a cousin’s name, plus some positivity like a PP mentioned.

But when you say about asking their opinion - we didn’t, just replied when they asked what names we were considering. My first reaction would never have been ‘we don’t want to discuss it’ as to me that would’ve been making a big deal out of sharing name ideas and I (naively) thought it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t think to say ‘we haven’t got any ideas yet’ for the same reason.

Tbh, I have a strong feeling that they would have had something to say on this even if we’d told them baby’s name once she’d arrived.

I’m pretty sure there isn’t a UK accent that doesn’t have both a long and short form of vowels eg although math and bath might rhyme in some accents, the a sound in father doesn’t.

It’s not stupid. A few people have already said that’s how it’s pronounced where they come from.

You sure about that? It's pretty short where I come from.

In theory it shouldn't matter what they think. Not their baby, not the same name. I'd refuse to discuss names further with them.

I quite like the Lily Anna idea!

But if it's spoiled it for you now, just keep looking. There are a million lovely girl names, you may find your baby doesn't suit Liliana anyway, it's true that you might get annoyed with the alternative pronunciation, plus Lily (or variants) are really common and popular if that matters to you. I know loads of children with Lily type names.

They are being ridiculous

If you're going to end up calling her Lilly then just call her that.

You seem set on it so why prolong this?

I've only ever heard it pronounced the way the OP is planning; never with the ahna rather than Anna, and I've known a few (Yorkshire, Dorset, and Cumbria). Potentially regional differences, but it's definitely not as standard as your comment implies.

@CaptainCallisto ,that poster has probably not been further north than Watford Gap.

the names are nowhere near similar, they are being ridiculous. Name her whatever you like.

We would have been set on it if not for MIL’s reaction hence the thread.

I'm pretty sure my northern Irish mam would disagree with you.

Think it's the same in most (all?) of Scotland.

We would call her Liliana in general and Lily on the odd occasion, family usually shorten names and would do it with whatever name we chose.

Reading your post, I made a guess as to what your dp's niece's name could be, and I think that the family is being ridiculous suggesting that your DD can't have a totally different name that ends with a n a instead of a n n a, with each of the names beginning with a name that can be stand alone.

I would suggest that you name DD whatever name you choose, including Liliana, which is a very pretty name.

However you know your family better and if it's going to cause real problems going forward you'll either have to change the name and feel resentful or keep the name and keep your distance.

@Startthecar , OP has posted the DN's name and they are as close as Arabella and Isabella or Susanna and Rosanna.

Yes niece is called Pollyanna and our daughter would be Liliana if we go with it. Someone said about how they both have 4 syllables and ‘-llyanna’ sounding the same as ‘-liana’. Pollyanna is more often than not called Pol by family though and no doubt they would call our daughter Lily in the same way.

I know it’s difficult but it’s still ok to say to MIL “Pol : Polly is nothing like Lily so we see no problem with our choice and I hope you will come to love the name”. And ask your DH to speak to his sister and suggest she tells her Dd the same and asks that the situation be de-escalated.

Unless there is another name you love you will always resent the way they treated you and kaiboshed your name for your darling daughter.

Lilian? Or Lily-Anne?

And absolutely nothing wrong with cousins having names that close sounding. Or even - shock horror - the exact same!
Who cares! Tell them to jog on 😂x

It's none of anyone else's business.

Ignore them totally and use whichever name you like. If anyone sulks then tell them to bugger off.

This sort of bollocks is why we never discussed names with family or friends before naming the baby at birth. Then just present a fait accompli. We weren't inviting the opinions of others.

“This sort of bollocks” 😂how I wish I had the bollocks to just say that to MIL!

Seriously though if we go on to have a third we’ve both firmly learned our lesson - anyone asks about name ideas and we’ll be avoiding the topic.

Interesting that there are loads of opinions that this shouldn’t be an issue and also some opinions saying the names are too close. I did really think it’d go all one way or the other. At least I’m reassured it comes down to what side of the fence you land on rather than there being a right or wrong.

Use Lily, call her Lily-anna as a nickname?

Family sound deranged though

Call your baby what you want. Why would you not choose a name just because someone else has the same or similar sounding name. Neice should be glad new baby will have a similar name.

I love the name. Don’t worry what your mil thinks.

f you want people to pronounce it as Anna you should spell it lillyanna though not ana.