Family trying to put us off a name

[lookingforanamex]

Trying to choose a name for DD2. Been really struggling to find anything we like. We like Liliana (‘-ana’ would be pronounced ‘-anna’ in our area’s accent) but DP’s 10 year old niece has a name ending in -anna (double n) but the start of the name is different.

Family also commonly call niece by her nickname, which is the start of her name, so we thought they might do the same with our baby, and call her Lily for short which would mean there was no similarity at all.

When family asked about our name ideas, MIL was indignant that we couldn’t use ‘niece’s name’.

Later, SIL started sending name ideas to us and asking our opinion so we assume she didn’t like the idea either.

A week later, on the wider family group chat, DP was asked again what names are on the list and Liliana was on there. The next morning, MIL called DP to tell him that niece had now been crying that baby cousin will be stealing her name. Niece isn’t in the group chat and wouldn’t put it past MIL/SIL to plant this idea with her to guilt trip DP and I.

Are we out of order for considering a name that ends in the same sound?

If we are, has anyone got any ideas for other names we might like? Feeling pretty gutted tbh.

If the DN is Elianna, then it is close, but they are still different names.

@Forgetaboutme , the ending -ana rhymes with 'are na' not with -anna.

Stop talking about names with them. Tell them, "We will be choosing our own child's name and do not need any input from you. We will let you know what we have chosen when she is born."

And then refuse to entertain any further discussion about it.

Massive confusion here about Anna versus ah-na 🤣 I can’t think of another way to say it other than Anna!

Ok so to get the clearest responses, her name is Pollyanna and family call her Pol 90% of the time. Not sure if there’s a way to delete the thread later(?) but don’t think family use Mumsnet as a regular thing (maybe an auntie but hey). If they do read this then I hope they take from it that if we weren’t bothered about upsetting any of them we wouldn’t be thinking twice about what to call our own daughter.

Definitely agree that name chat needs to stop from now on, maybe was naive to respond to the questions, we offered our ideas when asked to be polite.

Does knowing niece’s name change opinions at all?

Come to think of it, one of my dc has the same name as a cousin on dh’s side, and another has the same name as a cousin on my side. Absolutely nobody has an issue about it. So much so, that I forget about it.

Pollyanna is a strong sounding name with the emphasis imo on Polly
hence they call her Pol.

So I think your choice of name is fine
They can chose to shorten your daughters name to lily or use Liliana. there’s no real connection

Agree
In my family it’s accepted that we chose family names and
my name is used by all cousins families
Every family has a child with my name. Which bizarrely also ends in anna
Not one you’ve mentioned OP

Equally my brothers name is also used by the rest of the family
Maybe as it’s traditional ‘old Irish’ it’s accepted as the norm.

Thank you, this is exactly what I thought - why not make a positive comment about it and keep it brief (if passing comment on it to DN at all?)? This is what makes me think the issue lies with MIL/SIL and not necessarily DN.

Call her what you like. I was told what my grandchildren's names were once they were born. No discussion before or after they arrived. Just like we did with our parents when our kids were born.

Only call her the 5th one if you support PNE! Other Lilywhites may be available…

The family are being ridiculous, it's not the same name at all. So what if the ending is the same, lots of names fall into a pattern of ending in the same way. Eg, Josephine, Evangeline, Coraline. Linus, Marcus, Darius. Arabella, Isabella. Etc.

And anyway even if you wanted to name your daughter Molly, Holly, etc which are a lot closer to Pollyanna, you would be perfectly entitled to do that. Fancy suggesting to your niece that her new baby cousin is 'stealing her name' and getting her upset. Ridiculous and nasty behaviour! (But TBH I'd take that with a pinch of salt really, you don't know if it actually happened.)

To be fair Pollyanna and Lilyanna are quite similar with the L sounds. Can’t you just go with Lily? It does show a lack of imagination to have something so similar.

This

They’re bonkers. Call your baby what you like. As if cousins with a 10 year age gap are going to be close anyway.

Why ruin nice names like Polly and Lily with a boring ending?

I’d prefer if we just liked Lily for the simplicity but unfortunately we seem to like the more ‘frilly’ names. Tbh the ‘Anna’ sound at the end isn’t something we’re hung up on, if there was another name with Lili at the start with a different ending that we liked that would solve the problem but can’t think of any we like, and we both think Liliana sounds pretty and goes with DD1’s name quite nicely (prepared for the people who say it doesn’t matter if sibling names ‘sound nice’, we enjoy it 😂).

If we could find another name we like more, we’d be relieved tbh!

I personally wouldn’t use a name similar to a niece or nephew.

my sil was thinking about using a name similar sounding to my dd, think Milly and Tilly and when she asked me what I thought I said it sounded too similar to my dd name and didn’t think it would be fair to have two cousins with similar names. She changed her name.

i know no one owns a name but it’s common sense when naming your child to think of other family members and friends children’s name and avoid them and things similar.

I adore Liliana and would use it - it was on our list for ‘DD2’ who turned out to be DS!

I suppose it’s just a preference thing, I think Polly and Lily are lovely but just prefer a longer name and ending, what’s boring to some is nice to others. I’ve often read threads talking about frilly names and spoiling perfectly nice names etc but it doesn’t seem to change what I tend to like.

Lilette? Lilyrae? I feel like I've just made up Lilyrae but actually quite like it

You could go royal and have Lilybet or even LilyBeth.

Lily with Anna as a middle name

I don’t think Liliana and Pollyanna are too similar, but I would pronounce it Lily-ah-nah. Either way though it’s nothing to do with them and they are being over dramatic about it.

Why are you involving them?

Sounds like both yourself and family are causing issues.
You are using a stupid pronunciation to wind them up and them taking the bait.

How about Lily-Ella as an alternative?