Can you politely tell people 'don't nickname my daughter'

[JenniferHart]

Obviously you can do it, but can you do it and still maintain your easygoing friendly image. Or would that ONE comment throw your whole personality out of the water and reveal you as an anal freak putting on a show....

JUST wondering.

If the full name is Elizabeth/Eliza (for eg, not the actual name) and a friend you see a lot of calls child lizzy, then that could really stick, couldn't it?

Have you thought about a t-shirt with ......my name is SAGGYTITS!!!

Great idea! Maybe Boden do them?!

My name has a common short form which I hate, and my parents didn't like it. Apparently when I was 4ish I used to really kick up a fuss if people called me the shortened form.

Some people can't help it and actually I think its quite rude. Even these days I introduce myself as fullname and people will turn around and shorten it in the next sentence. It drives me insane. I know it sounds extreme but it really is like being someone else.

DD has a name which can't really be shortened.

Lets ask Johnny! I'm feeling like he might.......

just wait until they're teenagers. Their mates will make up their own names for them and you won't be able to do anything about it.

When did I say Phil wants to be called Phillip? He's known by everyone as Phil, he introduced himself to me as Phil, his name badge says Phil, why should I call him Phillip? For me Phil's name is Phil.

Oh he did say he hates Phillip.

My neice is called Mads as a nickname, just like Tink is. It's nothing to with her name, I'm not shortening or changing it and I seem to remember I said I don't mind nicknames, but I don't like shortening or changing someones name.

I agree with brucelovesfrumpygrumpy and belgo.

I don't call Tink "Tink" all the time (although it often reflects how much time I've been online ) and I don't call my niece Mads all the time, mainly when we're messing around and playing.

I'm with the 'you can't stop the nicknames' brigade.

FWIW my Miriam has been known as Mivvi since she was a baby. Wasn't my idea originally - another little girl at the childminder couldn't pronounce her full name - but it's her. The Mivvster rocks!

Yes but as you think it's genuinely fine to call your niece something other than her name I'm sure others think it's fine to call your DD something other than her name. It's pretty irrelevant whether the difference is a nickname or a shortening I think. Also, if Mad's mother said to you I really detest the name Mads and would prefer you didn't use it, however you react to that should determine how people will react to you if you say that about your DS name.

Anyone can call her whatever she wants and until she is old enough to decide for herself what she wants to be called then she will be called by her name. I don't think it's OK to shorten someone else's name, I think it's very rude.

Most of the time I call my niece by her name, I only call her Mads when she's being silly and she calls me names back.

I'm going to wow, it's safer.

I think it's affectionate to play around with names (if you know the person, weird and overly familira if you don't)

I have an Edward.

We call him Eddie.

My Dad calls him edward

His brother calls him Tedster

Our friend calls him Teddlington

I often call him eddie bear/Edward bear which morphs into Winnie pooh (sorry, but he is very cute)

etc etc etc.

You need to think about the variations of a name before you choose it, as it will be adapted as they interact with others.

You only get to choose what you call them and what is on the certifictae.

What anyone else calls them is up to them and their other realtioships. You can try to control it while they're young, but you will ahve to let this go eventually....

I have an Abbie, which is regularly both lengthened to Abigail which is not her name, this doesn't bother me, people just assume and is easy to say actually she's just Abbie. But then we get people calling her 'Abs' thats not even a name its just a small collection of letters! I loathe it, really truly hate it. I was always too polite to say anything when people did it, I think if it had been close friends or family i.e anyone who she saw regularly enough for it to stick then I probably would have done. If it's just aquaintances as it was with us easy to let go.
Luckily she hates it too, and is old enough now to tell people herself

Lavender - my Edward gets called Tedster and Teddington bear as well
Bizarrly Ds1 who is an Oliver is always called Ollie pie

Tinks mum - I was only teasing!

Just tickled me the way it was written thats all.

It's a name with very cute variations isn't it? Is he Edward Bear also? (it's winnie the pooh's real name you know, sure you know that).

And then 'Edward' with gravitas when they're older.

And 'Ed' for a teenager with his mates, or on the rubgy field.

I love the name.

Suprised you hate 'Eddie' though, I think it's cute, but I have forced myself not to take offence.

I love Oliver also BTW, that was on my list.

I also have a Max who is actually Maximilian, and lots of other vaiations.

We must have similar tastes as Max was on my list also!

He's not been called Edward Bear yet, but give us time and he probably will (he's only 3 months old lol)
My Nan calls him Teddy Edward - apparently it was an old childrens book? I keep meaning to look out a copy for him.

Glad you havent taken offence at me insulting Eddie I dont dislike it in general. I just really dont like people calling DS it as it just realy isnt him - he's a definite Ted imo!

Sorry, I'm just starting to feel a little defensive tonight.

I think what's rude is telling someone what they can and can't call your child. It is not being rude to affectionately shorten a name of a child you're talking to...

there are things you can control and things you can't

At least, not in a polite way, to go back to the thread title

just ask politely - i would never shorten someones name or their childs. I dont like mine being shortened and will politely always ask for my children names not to be shortened if someone does it. When children are old enough to decide if they like their name shortened then I will abide by their decision. am secretly hoping they will not like their names shortened. i chose the names I really liked the sound of and thats what I will always call them.

You might as well get used to it - when she's a teenager she'll be called all sorts of things - one of the reasons I called DD Amber was that I thought no-one would shorten it - now she's Bambi.

She has friends called Pie (Gareth), Satch (David Sims) and Crack (Mike Rack - I suppose that one was inevitable) and DS has a friend whose surname is Walsh-Atkins, who is known to everyone, including himself - signature on a Christmas card - as Shat.

My sister has a name that you can shorten umpteen different ways - Kathryn - and when I was a kid I always wished I did too. As people tend to identify your personality from your name (until they know you better of course) you can then be called whatever you want.

Both my DCs are called longer names but we have shortened them. When they are older they can choose what they want to be called themselves, and the chances are it won't be what I would choose for them.

My DS is called Jonathan but we always call him Jonny as its a cheeky name and really suits him, we think. My SIL asked if I minded that she calls him Jonny-boy and I was baffled - to me it's a form of endearment and lovely that she feels she has such a nice relationship with him.

When he's old enough he can choose - he will probably decide he wants to use the long version or be 'nathan' so I'll have to do my best to change my ways!

My first boyfriend was named Robert but all his family called him 'Nigel' because he liked it better...hmmmm......no accounting for the taste of 14 year olds....

Message withdrawn

FIL insists on caling DS2 by a hsortened version of his name. I have used his prefered name very loudly and often in his presence, asked DH to have a word about it (he won't - typical) and finally told DS2 to tell Grandad that he doesn't like being called it. DS2 did tell Grandad but Grandad said that he prefers to call him the shortened name

with other people, I say in mock horror "You didn't call him Tom did you?!" That usually works but doesn't seem to with FIL