Can you politely tell people 'don't nickname my daughter'

[JenniferHart]

Obviously you can do it, but can you do it and still maintain your easygoing friendly image. Or would that ONE comment throw your whole personality out of the water and reveal you as an anal freak putting on a show....

JUST wondering.

If the full name is Elizabeth/Eliza (for eg, not the actual name) and a friend you see a lot of calls child lizzy, then that could really stick, couldn't it?

one of my friends has a DD and I shortened her name and she just simply said xx doesnt really like her name shortened but was too polite to tell you. I apologised and told mum and DD that if I did it again by mistake just tell me.

No problems at all we are still very good friends.

Talking of names, I love yours JenniferHart. Must get my DVDs out!

DD's name has two possible shortenings. I call her one and have done from the start. MIL asked what I called her, then stuck her nose in the air and said 'oh I couldn't possibly call her that. That really got up my nose.

Both my boys have names that can be shortened. DS1 never gets shortened though and DS2 does. I think people take the lead from us tbh.

I think I would say, in a off hand sort of way,

'oh do you think she looks like a Lizzie? We didn't which is why we call her Elizabeth/Eliza' then leave it at that.

My brother is called Robert and my mum hated Bob which is quite prevalent back when he was a baby. However, because he was always called Robert or Rob at home, he never answered to Bob - just didn't realise people were talking about him.

Mind you I had a friend at school who liked to be called Liz but her mother insisted on calling her Elizabeth and we all took great delight in phoning or calling and asking for Liz just to wind her up. She was a bit of dragon though and it was a very small act of teenage rebellion.

I think it's a bit precious, tbh. I wouldn't feel comfortable around someone who pointedly corrected me.

I guess it depends how you feel about nicknames in general. I personally love them; I think they're affectionate .. and yes, using a child's full name the whole time is a bit anal, especially if it's more than two syllables!

I remember my dh putting my dad straight on my dd's name when she was very young

Tbh I prefer her name shortened but no one ever does it.

Wot desiderata said! Was thinking it was just me....

I think it's about realising that you can't control everything. You call the child what you want - of course. But other people have their own relationship with the child and they may want to have their own version of the name. I don't think that's unusual and I don't think it's up to you what another adult does!

agree agree dessi and honni

I think you can. No-one should be offended. I rarely shorten anyone's name I must admit. It makes DH laugh when I still call his best mate Andrew when I've known him for about 20 yrs. But bear in mind that she might love Lizzy.

I was about to post when I realised HonoriaGlossop has said everything I wanted to say, and more eloquently too.

I think the only person who gets to insist on a name is its owner. My parents hate the shortening of my name and spent years pedantically correcting all and sundry but I liked it. Guess who won...

I had a friend at school called Vicky, we all knew her as Vicky, she liked to be called Vicky.
If we rang her house and asked for Vicky her Dad would say we had the wrong number! He was determined to have her called Victoria.
I have since got in contact with Vicky through facebook
Her poor dad.

My DD is Danni-Ella and people sometimes call her Danni, but she likes Ella, as do I so she is called Ella at home, she will correct people that call her Danni and say she doesn't like it, but if she did, I suppose it's something I would have to live with.

hatrick, same here with DS1, he is Bobby, I'm sure if I'd called him Robert on his birth certificate he'd get Rob/Robbie, Bert (none of which I like) etc so he is the shortened version.

My Ds has a name which can be shortened but only one person ever has. I have never said he must be called by his full name. I love one diminutive and hate the other. He tells people sometimes now hes older. I also now lots of others the same. Its odd that people would do that.

DS is Harrison... we call him Harrison or "H" .. I'm not ofended by Harry, but so far no one calls him that... but I figure its his choice to make .. and that when he is an adult he can be Harrison and isn't limited to a kid name. not that Harry is but I imagine Harry to be a kid or a grizzeled old man...

.. I have a cousin named Candy... its not really the best of names for an adult.. unless you are a stipper or a christmas elf... no offence to any Candys out there...

I had it with MIL and you need to say something straight away. It caused a massive rift and annoyed me as I had said at the beginning that DD was not what they wanted to abreviate it too, anyway I was cross as they were horrible to me about it even though it my child and a name I choose for her! ANyway after much discussion they stopped (well in front of me anyway!)

Just to explain my POV to the people who think it's precious.

I chose Isobel because I wanted to call my daughter that, she might like something different and when she decides that she can be called what she wants and not have to deal with lots of people calling her things that she doesn't like just because that's what people decided to call her.

I would not dream of calling another adult something other than their name, so why should I do it to a child because I want to? I call my niece Mads (because she's a mad madam, I tell her) but it's no where near her real name, it's my nickname as her aunt, I might call a friend by a nick name or an endearment - being from Birmingham most of my friends get called Hun (rarely Bab) but I wouldn't call them anything other than they told me to call them. I have a friend called Phil who I talk to online all the time and comes here once a week. I have heard him refer to himself as Phillip, it sounds weird to me, his name is Phil and I wouldn't ever call him anything different.

I just think it's impolite to shorten a name without asking first. I always ask first.

i do this all the time

really must stop

can't help myself

if i don't shorten names i lengthen them, like "lucy-lou" and "rosie-pose"

fine with my own, but need to stop

Tinkerbelles mum - you say you wouldnt dream of calling anyone else anything other than their actual name but in the same sentence you go on to say that you call your neice mads and your friend Phil when he actually wants to be called Phillip

One of my children has an easily shortened name and I detest the shortened version.

I say, "some people do call her blah but we're not keen and we call her blahblah". If they are touchy about it then so be it. Nicknames can stick and spread. If she chooses it later then so be it.

I think blahblah is a great name

I think it makes you sound a bit precious if you make a fuss tbh. DD2 was named on the understanding that her name would only be shortened to one particular variation. Instead, many people shortened it a different way and as soon as she could speak, she insisted that way (not "my" way) was her name. I've just let it go - it's not worth fussing about.

If you really, really have strong feelings, call the child Tom or May or something that can't be shortened; but they'll probably find other variants anyway - Tommy or Maybe maybe!!!

When someone called my Ffion, Fifi, I just said in a mock serious gangstery voice " you call her Fifi again and I'll kill you!"-that worked!

Surely its a bit like someone calling you bigarse or saggytits. If its not your name and you don't like it, you say!

I agree with Belgo but what HG said was also spot on. I also think it's quite rude to play silly games and pull passive aggressive shit by saying something unkind or sarky to the nickname user.

It's your problem, so own it by being direct, say -- "Sorry, I hate nicknames, I really only want her to be called Eliza".

My name is saggytits but everyone calls me S.T!