Frustrated with Dh for using a nickname he vetoed

[rattlersnake]

I really wanted to call our baby James but Dh said no because every James he knew was J and he didn’t like the nn J.
So we reconsidered and called him Joseph and now Dh calls him J.
He’s only 8 months so we can still change it but he says no he likes Joseph. But he calls him J anyway.

Well it is a bit weird. What does he say when you pint out his inconsistency?
Has he just done this to get the name he wanted??

He didn’t really choose Joseph but it was the only name we both agreed on after he said no to James which I loved based on the fact he might be known as J but he calls Joseph J or J-man/J-dude.
I do like Joseph and it suits him I just feel annoyed that he vetoed James because he might be known as J and calls Joseph J anyway.

He now says he doesn’t mind James and can’t remember me suggesting it but he’s got used to him as a Joseph now and won’t change it after all this time.

Oh that’s annoying OP but luckily Joseph is a great name and imo much nicer and more interesting than James

@rattlersnake that is annoying. The fact you’re still loving and thinking of the name James and DH theoretically being okay with it now after all that ‘J’ nonsense, I think this time you should have the veto! Personally if I’d really fallen for a name and later my DH came out with this revelation, given it’s only 8ths, I wouldn’t care he’s got used to it! I would petition for the change personally! (Especially as there’d be no change for DH, he’d still be referring to his child as J!)
PS maybe Joseph could remain a middle name?

I know loads of James and don't know that any of them are known as J.🤔

I don't understand the idea of choosing a one and only nickname. Surely there is scope for nicknames to emerge and evolve- is that what happened here?

Hopefully it’s just while he’s so tiny and Joseph feels like a big name for a little baby! (I get why it’s annoying though!) Joseph is a great name 😊

Weird behaviour from DH, plus gaslighting.

Have you told him you don't like the nn Jay?

I really don't like it and would be very annoyed about it.

Could you ask him to call him Joe which is a really cool nickname and a thousand times better than the nickname Jim would have been.

Joseph and Joe are handsome.

Ask DH to call him Joe, and very specifically not to call him J..