Baby name regret - any positive stories?

[Belen82]

I have just been through a tumultuous name choosing process with my husband - stressful and emotionally charged. We had a beautiful, in my mind perfect boy name lined up before pregnancy that matched with my eldest sons name.

i had a wobble early pregnancy thinking the name was too common (top 5) and convinced my husband to consider the middle name as the first. He was convinced, but overtime when I thought about it practically the middle name wasn’t a good fit (uncommon though not unusual, long - three syllables, inevitable nicknames, can be perceived as foreign). I like short punchy names and don’t like nicknames.

However husband would not switch back - decided how that we had thought about it, he doesn’t actually like original first name.

Lots of fighting, tears and stress and we ended up going with the name that was orginally middle name. I loved it for about 10 days, felt good about it, compliments came pouring in. And then almost overnight, I feel sick with regret about it. I find it awkward using such a long name when my son is a 1 syllable name. I don’t like hearing people say it, I cringe a bit when I say it. And I can’t shake the overwhelming feeling we’ve done the wrong thing for our child - giving an unusual, fiddly name rather than a common, short snappy name.

Has anyone felt this level of regret and then gone on to love DC name? Did anyone start with the name feeling wrong but now wouldn’t have it any other way? It’s consuming me…

I loved my sons name during pregnancy but like you about 10 /12 days post partum I had a complete panic that we'd picked wrong and that it didn't suit him. He's 3 now and it's completely him and suits him to the ground. I think it was just hormones and stress around the whole becoming a mom and naming a human forever but it went away again after a little bit

Thanks @romdowa , how long did it take for you to feel good about it again? Was it a common or uncommon name?

Remember right now you might be feeling a bit more emotional than normal and also try very hard to think of him as an adult, teen etc.

What's the name? Would love to know. Congrats

He can always decide to go by his middle name if he chooses.

I didn't (and still don't really) like DSs name and he's 8! But he loves it so that's fine with me.
I've asked him in the past if he likes his name, if he could change it, would he? (all done in a light-hearted, conversational way) and he said absolutely not, loves his name.
It's long, old fashioned, and a bit of a mouthful, but hey, it's not my name!

Just remember, your child might decide to use a middle name as a first name, or find a fun nickname to use if they really don't like it.

I think it was a couple of weeks until the initial panic subsided but it wasn't for a few months that I felt confident in his name. It's an uncommon name. But not unheard of

Happy to share the name. We had Leo Raphael lined up as the name, brother is Max. I was concerned Leo was too saturated / boring and convinced my husband of Raphael, but on second thought found Raphael too long, fiddly and not keen on nicknames. My husband however was completely off Leo and as Raphael was the only other name we once both liked to settled for that :( so now we have Max & Raphael.

Despite receiving overwhelming positive feedback, it now feels so wrong and I can’t let go of how perfect Leo was …

@romdowa would love to know the name if happy to share!

Max and Leo sound plain together. Max and Raphael sounds good. Is Max short for Maxwell or anything?

I think if you’d had two short names together or two long names together then it would have sounded too matchy matchy. I think one boy having a short name and one having a long name gives them very separate identities as the names are completely different.

Max and Raphael is a gorgeous set! Leo is nice but very overdone I much prefer Raphael x

Fab names and Raphael is easily and nicely shortened to Raph

Totally this. Gorgeous names that go great together. You can easily shorten Raphael at some future point too. I’d relax and enjoy your lovely children op.

Max and Raphael are fantastic together! Honestly I think Leo is a bit 'meh' next to Max because Max is such a phonetically strong name. The 'ee-oh' in Leo is too sing-songy next to that singular 'a' beat in Max - but Raphael has the same strong 'a' sound in the first syllable, which I think makes them work really well together.
Congratulations on your new baby 💐

Raphael is gorgeous. I love it much more than Leo.

Wow thanks for the positive feedback, I appreciate your honest views!

During the pregnancy I lost complete confidence in my want of something more distinctive after coming on here and floating the name - and typically receiving pretty negative feedback… and Leo being the overwhelmingly popular option when I floated there two options. I felt serious guilt at giving my child a name that was not winning the popular vote, especially one that people might feel is foreign? When his brother has such a common name … those are the things that are playing on my mind. That I did the wrong thing by my child.

Raphael is a wonderful name. And if he prefers Leo later he has the option too.
Max is great. I think you have done well!

I really like the name OP! Not something I’ve ever heard before and it matches well with your first DS. I had the same wobble with both my DC’s early PP. Congratulations on your little bundle. Hormones are raging for you just now and you’ll be feeling very tearful. Be kind to yourself OP, now is the time to be gentle with yourself and make your emotional and physical wellbeing a priority (it’s hard to do with kids). The way your feeling is normal x

Raphael is gorgeous and Leo is way to common, you chose well

Leo is fine, but I love Raphael!

Raphael sounds tall, dark and handsome! {I know two - both Italian looking- it's often shortened to ''Raffa''.

OP I have been on a similar journey with my (very similar) DS's name. We could not agree and in the end I gave in, and once he was born I hated it. Was actually embarrassed of it. He's 9 months now and I like it. I don't love it, but it's fine and I really like the shortened version and am at peace. I think it took six months to get there being honest.

Raphael is a marvellous name! Stick with it!

Both names are fine. Raphael can be shortened to Raph.

If you really feel strongly it is also OK to consider changing it.

My friend has a young Raphael and shortens if to Raphy/Raph. It's lovely.