Baby name regret - any positive stories?

[Belen82]

I have just been through a tumultuous name choosing process with my husband - stressful and emotionally charged. We had a beautiful, in my mind perfect boy name lined up before pregnancy that matched with my eldest sons name.

i had a wobble early pregnancy thinking the name was too common (top 5) and convinced my husband to consider the middle name as the first. He was convinced, but overtime when I thought about it practically the middle name wasn’t a good fit (uncommon though not unusual, long - three syllables, inevitable nicknames, can be perceived as foreign). I like short punchy names and don’t like nicknames.

However husband would not switch back - decided how that we had thought about it, he doesn’t actually like original first name.

Lots of fighting, tears and stress and we ended up going with the name that was orginally middle name. I loved it for about 10 days, felt good about it, compliments came pouring in. And then almost overnight, I feel sick with regret about it. I find it awkward using such a long name when my son is a 1 syllable name. I don’t like hearing people say it, I cringe a bit when I say it. And I can’t shake the overwhelming feeling we’ve done the wrong thing for our child - giving an unusual, fiddly name rather than a common, short snappy name.

Has anyone felt this level of regret and then gone on to love DC name? Did anyone start with the name feeling wrong but now wouldn’t have it any other way? It’s consuming me…

Shorten Raphael to Rafe. Max and Rafe still sound good.

You have chosen fab names! They go well together.

@Belen82 just wanted to give you a gentle heads up that name regret is an indicator for PPD. Not saying you definitely have it, of course, but please think about your anxiety levels about this and whether they are raised in other areas too, and seek help if you are struggling.

Raphael is amazing such a great name
I actually think its goes really well with Max.

Dd1 had a top 20 names (not intended it was not in the 50 when she was bron but spiked) her 3 siblings unusual names in the 250th for one and thousands for the other 2. Dd1 loves her name is more common and her siblings likes theirs are not. Wait it out you may find Max likes Max and Raphael likes Raphael.

@MonaChopsis - thank you, I am wondering how hormones could be effecting this. It’s a bit frustrating because I’ve switched dramatically back and forth many times - early pregnancy I loved Raphael, then late pregnancy I switched firm back to Leo and didn’t feel comfortable with Raphael, then we picked that name and I adored it for 10 days, now I’m in a world of regret and back to not being comfortable using it … it’s so confusing because I wonder if hormones are involved, which feeling to trust?!

Raphael is gorgeous!
Really goes well with your other son's name I think.

It'll be those pesky hormones op.

Raphael is a lovely name and I would say it didn’t win the popular vote - sure it’s not as common as Leo but there were 339 Raphaels born in England and Wales in the last data. That makes it a more popular name than John for the same year. It’s lovely OP

Raphael is gorgeous and although I like Leo, it is a bit overused now. If you want something shorter and punchier and stronger sounding you could call him Rafe. Get in with it early so it sticks before people start with Rafa or Raffy.

Max and Rafe sound great together but I love Raphael.

I think Raphael is a lovely name. Specifically to your concerns, Rafe as a nn is the same level of punchy short as Max and I think it’s just as cool as Leo! Would Rafe work for you?

Names are a two yes one no situation so the fact that your husband went off Leo means that Leo wasn’t on the cards for you anyway.

In saying that, what does your husband think about your regret? You’re only 10 days in, presumably baby not registered yet so if it’s something that is REALLY bothering you I don’t think anyone would judge you if you changed it to something you both love.

I absolutely love Raphael!!! Max and Raphael have both featured on my baby name lists.

Raphael! ❤️❤️❤️

Congrulations on your beautiful boy!

Raphael is absolutely gorgeous (far nicer than Leo).

I like it. I know one. The other kids call him Rapha and it sounds pretty cool. I don’t think you’ve made a mistake

It's very early days OP. Sometimes it takes a while to feel a baby owns its name. I called one of my DCs "Baby" amongst other nicknames for months as the (wonderful) name didn't seem to fit yet. It was a name I had always loved but I couldn't quite get my head around it being DCs name (hormones). Now there is no way I can imagine DC by any other name.

LOVE both names and I usually hate the names that come up on MN!

Raphael is a great name, and Rafe (Raffa) is a great shortening although you aren't keen on doing that. Remember that Max (also a lovely name) is also a shortening from other names even if used as a name in its own right. Same for Leo, which is nice too.

I'd stick with Raphael.

You could call him Raf. I love it!

Raphael has so many amazing nicknames, I bet he'll love his name especially when he's a teenager. Raff/Raffa/Rafe are all really cool!

I wasn’t 100% sold on one of our children’s names but it was the only one we could meet in the middle on (both wanted completely different names the other really didn’t want) didn’t really hear many people called it at the time but now it’s quite a popular name and it totally suits him :)

OP, in the nicest possible way, calm down about this. Look at the dramatic language you’re using about choosing a child’s name! I’d be asking myself in your shoes quite why this whole decision was so fraught — you had settled on a name before you even got pregnant, then had a wobble in early pregnancy and convinced your husband to agree on something else, then changed your mind again but your husband wouldn’t change back, causing ‘tears, fights and stress’, then you loved it after your child was born and now you hate it again!

It’s a perfectly fine, nice, ordinary name, OP. Leo is another perfectly nice, ordinary name. The name isn’t the issue.Your ridiculously highly-strung attitude to it over a period of many months is the issue. Are you under a lot of stress for other reasons and just fixating on this?

Whose surname do they have? If your husband's, then the naming is all yours. Why do men get such a big input they they have their name all over everyone around them? Go with his choice but then give them your surname.

*However husband would not switch back - decided how that we had thought about it, he doesn’t actually like original first name.

Lots of fighting, tears and stress and we ended up going with the name*

I'm more worried about your husband's attitude than the actual names.

You made a great choice!

Leo and Max (still a cute pairing so I'm only joking really) would remind me too much of this 😂

I had name regret and looking back, it was definitely a symptom of PPD. I do have a tendency to fixate on specific things when I feel a bit out of control, or anxious of depressed. I didn’t realise it at the time but I recognise it in myself now.

I’m not a fan of silly quirky names, and much prefer traditional ones, but Raphael is classic. It’s a lovely name. I know you said you don’t like nicknames OP, but are you OK with shortened names? Raphael will definitely be known as Raff when he starts school, which is also a really cool punchy name. Your son basically has the option of being sophisticated Raphael or cool Raff, depending on how he’s feeling! It’s a great name.