Anyone ever recovered from a "stolen" baby name?

[bee2121]

I did the biggest mistake of my life by giving a true answer when a co-worker asked what baby names I like. I was caught off gard and I am a terrible liar. She is not going to have children so I was like whatever, better just say it as it is. Unfortunately another co-worker where closer than I though, she walked in just seconds later, my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

If it where to be a common name I wouldn't have batted an eyebrow, but knowing she overheard us and the fact that it's a very uncommon name (but still old/classic, not a weird name) makes me believe she "stole" it.

I know the fault is mine for sharing in the first place, but it was hard not to feel a jab in the heart when I heard the name for the first time. She spelled it slightly different but it is pronounced exactly the same. I didn't confront her but man did it sting in my baby-longing heart.

I no longer work there, but I did for about a year after her baby arrived.

Thing is I love this name, it was a name from my heart really. But having someone else reference their kid as that name over and over it just feels so weird naming my own that name. I love names that are somewhat unique (but not weird, I'm not that tragedeigh mom!) and probably couldn't name a baby something really common. It's like I want them to have their "own" name that no one else has, at least not someone we know.

Did this happen to anyone else? I wonder if it's possible to overcome this feeling or if the name is "ruined" forever for me? It feels like it's ruined but I don't want it to be.

My daughter once asked me what else she might have been called - I told her. She's now pregnant and her boys name is my boys name. I'm thinking of disowning her for stealing my name

Seriously @bee2121 ??? This CANNOT be a serious thread!

Some random at your OLD workplace - who you don't even see now, uses the baby name you said you were using for her baby - and that means you can't ever use it for any baby you have?! I must have missed that memo.

FFS what a non-issue!

'Has anyone ever recovered from this....?'

Fucking hell! 😆 As a pp said, thoughts and prayers at this difficult time!

.

😂

It’ll be Evie. Or Olivia. Or Sophie.
My friend at work had a teenage daughter with a very popular name (popular like those above). A new colleague joined our team. New colleague soon became pregnant and named her DD the same as friend’s DD. Friend never spoke to her again because she stole her baby name 😵‍💫.

i can honestly say I don’t know a name can be stolen, the things one learns on MN 😂

I think your friend did this new colleague a favour. I wouldn't want someone like her as a 'friend' anyway. She sounds batshit, ridiculous, petty, childish, and mean. To ghost someone because they used YOUR child's name for their teenage daughter is hideous behaviour. (And the child whose name has been 'stolen' is a teenager!) Fucking hell! 😆

I'm sorry but it was a crazy thing to do.

ANGLES WAS MY NAME 😡😡😡

Don’t listen - I’d be raging if someone ‘stole my name I’d picked’. So would most people - they’re just talking bullshit. In real lie they’d be going mental!

I'm so sorry to hear that.

I dealt with it by conducting a campaign of terror and intimidation against the thief. Eventually she left the county. I'm not proud of myself but it had to be done.

Do you think something like that could help you @MeowCatPleaseMeowBack?

You need to get over it, this is not an issue. In my early 20s a close friend used my favourite girls baby name, I was upset about it at the time. Little did I know that by the time I had my babies, her little one was 20 years old, we hadn't spoken in years, I had boys 🤦

Is it Adolf? Old name, not much used?

Don't we all steal names from somewhere or someone? Even if it is years before... we hear the name we like it and keep it in our head.
For your colleague to overhear the name and use it immediately is a bit odd, but I don't believe anyone can claim a name.
My DS has the same name as my DH ex girlfriends new husband - yes he suggested the name initially and I liked it - I often joke with DH if they wonder if we nicked his name 😬

Maybe but I just knew that it would be a case of them saying I’d stolen the name and abuse from everyone so I thought fuck it I’m done with them all anyway so may as well take this enjoyment off them of making me look like I’d taken the first and middle names away from them ! There had been a smear campaign for so long I was just sick of it. Only those from narcissistic families would understand

I get it to an extent. My DD has a relatively unusual name. I have yet to meet another anyway. I deliberately avoided 'common' names and did a search of previous years to see how often it had been registered and many a mumsnet search to see hiw often it was suggested.

However I am fully expecting someone else to have the name at some point. Maybe it'll even go top 100 one day who knows. You can't own a name. Theres more individual qualities to a human than their name!

Also how unusual is this name? So many people think their name is unusual and it's crazily popular. I've seen this scenario on here a thousand times. Espeically if its an old fashioned name. Granny names have been becoming popular for years. There's a good chance its just coincidence. Do a search for thr name with mumsnet in google. If its been suggested in many a thread. Its common.

My ex colleague (who was horrible to me) copied by baby girls names. First and middle, only she did this knowing my daughter died in utero.

That was especially galling and did really have a profound effect on my mental health for a long time.

My cousin then copied my youngest son’s name, dad’s side so they have the exact same name and surname. That really irritated me, thankfully they pissed off to Florida so we no longer lived a few streets apart anymore.

Still annoys me though lol

😂

This has reminded me of an old forum I used to
post on where one of the women completely lost her shit over the fact someone else on the forum had used “her” name- two people who had never met IRL and the name was Stephen 😭

For your colleague to overhear the name and use it immediately is a bit odd, but I don't believe anyone can claim a name.

It wasn’t immediately, though. The colleague announced her pregnancy some months later and, unless she was already pregnant and knew the sex at the time of overhearing the OP’s conversation (which doesn’t really work in terms of timeline), it could be up to a year or more before she used the name. She might well have forgotten where she’d even heard it by that point; just remembered that she liked the name.

My cousin then copied my youngest son’s name, dad’s side so they have the exact same name and surname.

Now that IS weird. I have a very similar name to my aunt (e.g. Anna and Hannah) and I still don’t understand why my parents did it. I’ve asked and my mother seemed genuinely flummoxed that I’d think it was a problem - but she didn’t have to double check she’d heard right every time someone shouted her name at a family party!

That was the biggest mistake of your life?

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😂

In answer to the question in the title, I expect other people have got over it.

And if you are still struggling with the fact that a real life human has the name you are planning to use for a hypothetical child in the future then I think you need to question yourself: why does this matter to me? What am I afraid of? Because it does not seem proportionate to the issue that you are holding on to this.

@LightDrizzle · Today 11:30

Sadly the two people I know whose baby names were stolen by previous acquaintances they no longer see died of broken hearts at 18 months post theft in the first case and 5 years 3 months later in the second. They are at peace with the angles now.

'They shud not ov been taken...' 😔

People don't steal names.
They're inspired to use a name they hear of, just as you were. It didn't magically come into your head from nowhere. You heard it somewhere and decided would be one you would use should you have a child of that sex.
So by your reasoning, you stole it too.