Anyone ever recovered from a "stolen" baby name?

[bee2121]

I did the biggest mistake of my life by giving a true answer when a co-worker asked what baby names I like. I was caught off gard and I am a terrible liar. She is not going to have children so I was like whatever, better just say it as it is. Unfortunately another co-worker where closer than I though, she walked in just seconds later, my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

If it where to be a common name I wouldn't have batted an eyebrow, but knowing she overheard us and the fact that it's a very uncommon name (but still old/classic, not a weird name) makes me believe she "stole" it.

I know the fault is mine for sharing in the first place, but it was hard not to feel a jab in the heart when I heard the name for the first time. She spelled it slightly different but it is pronounced exactly the same. I didn't confront her but man did it sting in my baby-longing heart.

I no longer work there, but I did for about a year after her baby arrived.

Thing is I love this name, it was a name from my heart really. But having someone else reference their kid as that name over and over it just feels so weird naming my own that name. I love names that are somewhat unique (but not weird, I'm not that tragedeigh mom!) and probably couldn't name a baby something really common. It's like I want them to have their "own" name that no one else has, at least not someone we know.

Did this happen to anyone else? I wonder if it's possible to overcome this feeling or if the name is "ruined" forever for me? It feels like it's ruined but I don't want it to be.

😂

That's quite different from OP's situation where it's an ex-colleague she hasn't seen in years and she isn't even pregnant herself.

Then I got to the bit about screenshots and yep, that is insane too.

👏 @LightDrizzle

Yep. Bonkers. You don’t get to claim ownership of any name.

No, OP, no one has ever recovered from a co-worker stealing the name of their imaginary future baby. Everyone involved always of a fatal condition called Not Getting A Grip-itis.

But presumably you heard the name from somewhere, so there are other people walking around with that name, not just your ex colleague’s child.
Otherwise it would just be a random collection of syllables with no history or meaning.

I have a "classical" name that was completely out of fashion when I was born. Entire education not a single other one in school or at university. I was well into adulthood before I actually met anyone who shares it.

30 years later it suddenly became very popular and I got used to small rampaging toddlers being called back with it in supermarkets and later people looking askance when they realise holder of said name is a much older woman than expected. I'm not speshul anymore and you know what? I don't care. It's what happens with names. My sister was named for our Victorian great grandmother and about 3 years later her name became really, really common among new babies. No way of predicting it unless it's a name on the 100 year cycle, the one that bought "Alfie" back from being an "old man" name noone would use to seemingly every second boy.

You don't know that she heard you. It is not "somewhat unique" because unique means "only one". It's possible that your favoured name could be like mine or my sisters and end up ubiquitous. It is either a name you love or not and while using an eg siblings known choice name deliberately is crap, that is not the case here.

Get some perspective.

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Oh god how ridiculous. Grow up.

I can see why you don’t want to use the name now. It will be embarrassing and confusing on all the occasions you never see your former colleague.

God this must have looked so petty to the recipients of the cards. Live and let live. No one has property in a name.

Be strong, OP.

The only time it's legitimate to be concerned about another child having the same name as yours is for very close family members. Otherwise it's nothing that will affect your life. But given that you weren't even pregnant, it could in no way be classed as "stealing".

No, it destroyed my life. All I do now is rock back and forward in a dark room chanting "name stealer, name stealer."

The biggest mistake of your life?!

Come on OP, get a grip. This isn’t your sister taking a name when you’re both pregnant. This was someone you don’t even work with any more!

Apply to the Register of Births and Deaths to get an order of protection on your chosen name, and if anyone who overheard the name attempts to give their baby that name, you can object.

Having a baby isn’t for you if you’re this obsessive about something so trivial.

😂

Yes, this scenario is certainly one from which people generally recover.

I would just use the name I'd planned and if anyone commented I'd just say I'd said it was the name I'd use and she must have thought it was a good idea.

my guess is that she overheard us because a few months later she announces she is pregnant and guess what name her baby got? My name!

So the possibility that she'd always wanted to use that name anyway has escaped you? As you say, it's a total guess on your part. Particularly as you say she walked in after you'd said it!

I know several people who have both independently chosen the same unusual name.

You can't let what might be a coincidence get to you. If you had had a baby with that name first she might be on here posting a similar story!

If this is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made you have my absolute admiration. How wonderful.

Forughts and prayez 4 u hun @MeowCatPleaseMeowBack 😘

You sound absolutely deranged OP.

I don’t know how some people manage to leave the house, Jeezo

I work in a company of 250,000 people. When I applied for the job one of the questions was ‘what names do you want your future children to be called’. The HR process mandates that at least 50% of the employees having children after my application call them this name. Such a shame.