Name dilemma - should I change 20 month old DS's name?

[CeilingCat]

This has been preying on my mind for a while now, so I thought I'd run it past the MN jury.

DS as a very unusual (but not 'unique') name. I really love it, BUT no one else does. We always call him by an abbreviation of his name (the abbreviation is quite commonplace) and I now dread people asking me what it's short for. I'm not a 'wacky' person, and I hate confrontation, and I find it hard to deal with the negative reactions.

So, DH and I have been talking about changing his name, either to his abbreviated name, or to another name which could (at a bit of a stretch) be abbreviated to the same nick name.

Hmmm this is sounding complicated isn't it? I don;t want to give the actual names cos it would out me to any RL mates, but here's an approximate equivalent:

DS birth name 'Albus'
Nick name 'Albie'
Possible name change 'Archibald'

THESE ARE NOT THE ACTUAL NAMES, BUT THEY ARE THE BEST EQUIVALENTS I CAN THINK OF.

DH thinks we should just change his name to his nick name, but I'm just not sure. I don't like the idea of him being 'Albie' as an official name IYSWIM.

DH thinks it would be weird to change his name to 'Archibald' as the abbreviation to 'Albie' is too contrived.

We never actually call him 'Albus' and we would probably rarely call him 'Archibald', but I think 'Archibald' is going to serve him better in the future than either 'Albus' or 'Albie'.

Still with me? Whaddya think??

Now those jokes are real cruelty!

god sorry it is an awful name

you must change it

Are you any nearer to a decision CC?

hi all. im new on here but reading this post i felt i had to say something. i have an "english" name but my family is of greek origin so h have given both my kids greek names. they are both unusual but everyone comments on them in a very positive way! in this day and age i think we all need individuality! a different name can make one stand out in a positive memorable way so i say BE PROUD TO BE DIFFERENT! my 4yr old daughter absolutely LOVES being different!!!

Cantsleep - yes, DH and I had a chat about it last night. We're definitely not going to give him a new name. I do still like Psychomum's idea of switching his first and middle names by deed poll, but I'm not sure it's worth the hassle for him to be a "Formerly Known As".

i didn't realise names could arouse such passions in people! for what its worth i think its a great name, very cute for a LO and ronnie is good too.
we tried to think of names for our DS(s) that are unusual but not made up but i still hear of people with those names.
i'm also thinking of changing ds2 (4 months) name but the reason is slightly different. dh and i couldn't agree, i let him win but still can't get used to it. so i have been calling him by am abbreviation we can use for both in case i have the guts to change it!
people say its cruel, unfair, silly to change it now but he's gonna have the name for the rest of his life and i think its important that I love it.
for all those reasons IMHO KEEP THE NAME!!!!!

oh just read your post and you are - well done! its a sweet, lovely name!

TheOriginalYorkshireLass - there is a big difference between arguing your point and being fucking rude. I think you just crossed the line spectacularly.

"Call the social services bad"

"Change it before he divorces you as a parent (quite right too)."

I think you need to get a bit of perspective, sweetheart.

I agree it was rude. Someone needed to be. Pretty much everyone else was being all touchy feely about YOU and pandering to YOUR feelings. Seemed I was the only one willing to think of it from the child's perspective. Obviously the flurry of agreements that followed shows that I am not the only one who was appalled at your choice of name.

Of course giving your kid a bloody stupid name isn't the same as YOU hitting him. But it is giving others a really good reason to beat him up. Looking at it another way, would you send your child to school deliberatly dressed to be teased? Giving him a name that sets him up for it is just the same. It was ill conceived and thoughtless, therefore tantamount to cruelty. Therefore I stand by my comments.

I'm not really keen on the poncy names which suddenly seem fashionable (and even worse the daft spellings of regular names - plllleeeeze). And we get enough of them up here in the working class areas - seems to cover all classes in the South. But fortunately for our children's generation there are enough kids called Hugo and Boris for it not to stand out too badly. But there are some which just really take the biscuit.

It's worse than Heavenly Haraani Tiger Lily and we all know what should have happened to those poor lasses.

"A really good reason to beat him up" Wow - nice mentality. You think an unusual name justifies a beating

I think we'll have to agree to differ on this one. We clearly have very different codes of conduct.

Oh bugger. I'm CC btw.

Oh and I see you name-changed for your brave and forthright views.

Hatrick - most people are too bothered about not upsetting the parent to be honest about their feelings. Clearly once I'd mentioned it myself, the floodgates opened.

AA / CC - sorry if you interpreted my post in that way. Clearly you don't know how many badly brought up kids there are in the world.

My DS wouldn't "beat up" your little Geronimo for his poncy name because he's being brought up proper like. But there are plenty of other little buggers who would. Part of our job as parents is to make sure that we protect them from those other little darlings. Saying that it's not ok to bully someone because of their name/skin colour/clothes doesn't stop it from happening. Like someone else said, what you've done is the same as sending him to school with a "hit me" post it on his back.

Don't believe me ifyou don't want to. You asked for people's opinions and if all you wanted was people who pandered to you then so be it. But I am more worried about the poor lad than you and I am surprised that you don't see it that way. Unless you live in Chelsea or Hampstead in which case Geronimos are no doubt ten a penny and he will get bullied for having a common name.

'Course if my DS was caught hitting someone I'd thrash him till his bum was raw.

AA / CC - not sure who you're referring to re name change. But if me, then I haven't.

Wouldn't bother. Said what I said.
Meant what I said.

Cute kid though.

I went back through this thread trying to figure out this Geronimo discussion? it doesn?t appear that CeilingCat is calling her boy Geronimo but perhaps someone out in mumsnet land has. Anyway, Geronimo was a battle cry when we were kids when you jump or ran headlong into someone or something. It?s not a believable name for kid from England? in fact any kid that?s not Native American. And the abbreviation, Ronnie, which is actually an abbreviation for Ronald? Ronald McDonald? see where I?m going. That certainly won?t be lost on children. A child will get picked on the minute they show any sign of weakness, not just because of their name.

But come on? Hugo, Boris? boring!!! Particularly if every other bloody kid in class has it. There are so many because the names are trendy, not because parents thought ??oh, lots of kids have this name so if I call my kid that they won?t stand out?. In the late ?90?s, every other boy was named Dylan because of 90210.

Hugo/Boris - daft, not boring.

I mean, ok in London and genuine aristocrats can get away with them. In fact I think that this is the problem. Aristocrats have often given unusual names to their children and the lower classes have now picked up on this and seem to think that it makes them "posher" to give out daft names, whereas it just makes them look - well - daft.

Actually, I like both Hugo and Boris. If you've got 400 acres in Buckinghamshire it suits you really well. Otherwise they make great doggie names.

Don't you think that "Dave" is also a great name for a dog? I always thought so.

Chefswife - CC did, in fact, call her DS Geronimo.

I should point out that if you're an aristocrat in Yorkshire, you can't get away with either Boris or Hugo. Stick with Charles, Edward (at a push) or perhaps Philip. Regal yet acceptable.

Please make all paypal payments to "Appropriate Child Naming Unlimited".

Well I suppose I'd better make sure he doesn't show any interest in unusual hobbies, or make friends with any 'unpopular' kids. And I'd better make sure he has the latest Nike trainers, and a Wii and a TV in his own room. Anything else might mean that he gets picked on, and God forbid I'd be so 'cruel'.

I did not start this thread to be pandered to, and I have taken the criticism from other posters in good part because they have been able to make their points articulately and (on the whole) without resorting to hyperbole and accusations of cruelty. TBH your 'cruel to be kind' approach has seriously diminished your argument. Why on earth would I care about the opinion of someone who is rude and (dare I say it) somewhat lacking in social skills?

And if you haven't namechanged, whay do you have no posts previous to this thread?

Haven't read whole post but I have to say, I read your original thread ages ago saying that you had called your son Geronimo and I have to say I have told other people about the name/thread as it really made me giggle.

I think for your son, he would appreciate you changing his name to Ronnie. You sound lovely and obv are thinking about your son.

My apologies for missing the fact CC did call her ds Geronimo.

Also apologize because I assumed you called your ds? Hugo and Boris? I do think they make for good dog names as well as Dave. Dave makes the dog somehow more human.

I wouldn?t say the aristocrats are to blame but upper-middle classes? the bourgeoisie. This group has been setting trends of all sorts, including names, since the Victorian Era.

Oh, and instead of Ronnie, use Mo. Much better abbreviation.

My dh and I have chosen names that are from our parents and grandparents. It?s tradition in my family to call the first born son Henry. He?ll be the 7th.

AA - I agree with your first sentence. In that there are always going to be 101 things which can make a child be picked on. And I won't be giving my DS the expensive trainers, either. I just feel that Geronimo is a bloody stupid name and so will all his class mates. End of story.

My "cruel to be kind" argument was my explanation of why I wasn't pandering. It's your kid I'm thinking of. It's the kids that matter, not their parents' feelings.

I was rude. Being honest often is. Not enough people in this world are honest because they are worried about appearing rude. The point to be made was more important than whether or not you "like" me. Which clearly I don't give two hoots about - because - I re-iterate - it's not about me, nor you, but your cute little lad. Incidentally if I'd met you at toddler group and you'd introduced your kid as "Geronimo" I would have responded with "oh what a nice unusual name" and presented you with a big smile. Then laughed behind your back. I wouldn't have been rude enough to comment unless it was invited - which it was. Those people who you said have laughed IRL are just not as restrained as me which given the current fashion for stupid names shows where it is on the scale.

We're all lacking in social skills in Yorkshire. That's why we stay up here and don't come down and mix with you lot. It's a long-term understanding between the N&S. You leave us alone to our beautiful countryside and our clear road systems, and we'll not come down there and be rude to you. Oops, tinternet's buggered that, eh.

And why have I not posted here before? Because I've not posted here before. Simple. As. We've all got to start somewhere. I'm what is commonly known as a "newbie". Welcome to me!

Chefswife - hehe no I don't have boys called Hugo and Boris!! Blimey. I do actually know a dog called Boris mind you.

Henry is an absolutely gorgeous name (if you can avoid it being shortened to Harry - which is also lovely but a bit too Hermione and Albus). Course Henry's son will HAVE to be called Henry... like you'll not have thought of that