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Original poster

Name dilemma - should I change 20 month old DS's name?

229 replies

CeilingCat · 14/04/2008 09:10

This has been preying on my mind for a while now, so I thought I'd run it past the MN jury.

DS as a very unusual (but not 'unique') name. I really love it, BUT no one else does. We always call him by an abbreviation of his name (the abbreviation is quite commonplace) and I now dread people asking me what it's short for. I'm not a 'wacky' person, and I hate confrontation, and I find it hard to deal with the negative reactions.

So, DH and I have been talking about changing his name, either to his abbreviated name, or to another name which could (at a bit of a stretch) be abbreviated to the same nick name.

Hmmm this is sounding complicated isn't it? I don;t want to give the actual names cos it would out me to any RL mates, but here's an approximate equivalent:

DS birth name 'Albus'
Nick name 'Albie'
Possible name change 'Archibald'

THESE ARE NOT THE ACTUAL NAMES, BUT THEY ARE THE BEST EQUIVALENTS I CAN THINK OF.

DH thinks we should just change his name to his nick name, but I'm just not sure. I don't like the idea of him being 'Albie' as an official name IYSWIM.

DH thinks it would be weird to change his name to 'Archibald' as the abbreviation to 'Albie' is too contrived.

We never actually call him 'Albus' and we would probably rarely call him 'Archibald', but I think 'Archibald' is going to serve him better in the future than either 'Albus' or 'Albie'.

Still with me? Whaddya think??

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seeker · 15/04/2008 22:59

Sorry, Cat. I know it's a real name - although I am struggling to think of anyone except a very famous Native American who has/had it. BUT I don't think anyone nowadays uses it in anything except the "cowabunga" context. And if I think that, so will lots of other people. As I said, I stepped back from Halcyion just in time. You have the chance - take it!

howsitgonnacomeout · 15/04/2008 23:09

sorry to crash too, but I think Geronimo is fantastic. I'm due in 1m, Won't steal it, promise but ran it past DH who loves it and was really sad to think you'd change it

LivingLaVidaMummy · 16/04/2008 08:46

It's a great name and you're in good company.

www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/alex-james/alex-james-the-great-escape-437245.html

OrangeKnickers · 16/04/2008 08:47

CC - why not post in the Men's Room section and ask them?

CantSleepWontSleep · 16/04/2008 09:13

It's a cool name! Sure I'd raise my eyebrows if I heard it in real life, but more because it's so unusual that I thought you had some guts than because I thought there was anything wrong with it.

Original poster
CeilingCat · 16/04/2008 09:18

lol at your name, howsitgonnacomeout

OP posts:
TheOldestCat · 16/04/2008 09:27

CeilingCat - it's a great name! And you - and he - can always use Ronnie.

(speaking as someone with the most common girls' name of the 1970s).

Hoonette · 16/04/2008 10:07

CC - I reread your original post to make sure I understood the dilemna.

I think it all comes down to what is most important for you in naming your son. If it's really important that he has an unusual, individual name that you love, then you shouldn't change it.

If you are finding that it is more important to you that he has a name that doesn't provoke negative reactions, for you or for him as he grows up, then you should probably change it.

People on MN are lovely and tolerant. People in RL can be less so, and I think you and he will get some adverse comments. But then, people in RL always find something to criticise!

Good luck in making your decision.

MrsE · 16/04/2008 10:16

My DH uses his middle name for everything so much so that his real first name only exists on his birth certificate. Even his passport is in his middle name and in fact most people don't know he has another name!

He hasn't actually changed it but that is what he has always been known by. My mum is the same and uses her middle name (and that's much stranger than her first name )
They both tell people that's what their name is and no one has ever questioned them.

Go with what you're comfortable with, and remember you don't have to actually change it officially.

chefswife · 16/04/2008 11:12

My name is hyphenated but no one ever calls by the full name? except when I was in trouble or at the beginning of the school year. Teachers always ask students what they prefer to be called, and if they don?t, they should. Albus sounds very mature and sophisticated and doesn?t sound like a name that he should feel ?outed?. Keep the name? you never know. Maybe when he?s older Albus will prefer to use his full name. If not, he can always change it. Besides, you shouldn?t really care what others think of your child?s name.

seeker · 16/04/2008 12:35

livinglaVidaMummy - I suspect Alex James picked the name as a pseudonym for his son in the column because he was pretty sure there wouldn't be any real life ones to confuse him with!

halogen · 16/04/2008 13:11

Er, no, seeker. Alex James' children are called Geronimo, Artemis and Galileo, I believe.

I think it's a great name, personally.

seeker · 16/04/2008 13:13

Oh, Purl- EASE..........!!!!!!!

cherrylips · 16/04/2008 13:28

Havn't read the whole thread as in a rush to get to the park with the kids. I like the name Geronimo, but if you are feeling unsure now, could you change it to Jerome (similar)? And still call him Ronnie?

OrangeKnickers · 16/04/2008 13:43

Jerome is good, and unusual. Havne't met one of those yet.

Original poster
CeilingCat · 16/04/2008 13:55

Jerome to me = this

OP posts:
OrangeKnickers · 16/04/2008 14:12

LOL!

Can see why that would put you off.

Herecomesthesciencebint · 16/04/2008 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumofhelen · 16/04/2008 18:12

I really wouldn't bother changing the name. What's wrong with Albus? Have you tried adding a traditional name, such as Thomas, Richard, Henry? In that way, if your son finds the name Albus intolerable, he can take up/use his second name.

My husband hates his first name. So much so, that I didn't know about it until I was interviewed by the registrar. She asked me to give my husbands full name, which I did - or so I thought. Imagine my horror when the registrar said "that name is incomplete."

A very timid husband then showed me his passport and I burst out laughing! I still use his second name and so does everyone else.

seeker · 16/04/2008 18:34

Jerome - that's a brilliant idea! A good name and St Jerome was the guy who took the thorn out of the lion's foot. Go for Jerome.

bettybeetroot · 16/04/2008 18:36

I think Geronimo is a great name! Keep it! My ds has a name that you either love or hate and I'm rather relieved that not everyone likes it as this means it won't become at all popular!

cherrylips · 16/04/2008 18:38

LOL at what the name Jerome means to you CeilingCat.

The 1990's Soldier Soldier connection never occurred to me!! I think this name is very cool.
I once knew a French man by the name of Jerome, he was cool personified and rather yummy. I believe the name is quite common in France.

My best friend and I deliberated over calling our ds's Jerome (her son is a lot younger than mine) but our dh's refused, as they both like v traditional names. So my son has an unusual middle name instead, which is'nt Jerome btw. Its a very old fashioned name that runs in both my dh's and my family (big coincidence).

GrapefruitMoon · 16/04/2008 18:48

Another one here who has always been known by her middle name - very common when/where I grew up for some reason...

Have always used middle name at work, at doctors, etc. First name on passport, bank details, etc - didn't know you could have it otherwise. Added complication for me is that the middle name was spelled incorrectly on my birth cert - got it changed eventually as an adult but there is no record of me at college under my "real" name!

And at my dc's school there is no problem with a child being known by a shortened version of their name...

2HotCrossBunnies · 16/04/2008 20:33

Those really are Alex James' kids names! FWIW I really like Geronimo (and Ronnie!) too. I imagine that if you chose such a name that lots of your DS's friends will have slightly more unusual names. These days parents are being much more individal with name choices than a generation ago.

My dad has been known by his middle name since school - there were 3 boys with the same first name and the eldest of the 3 was referred to by that and the other 2 got called by their middle names! Ironically my father's middle name is one of the most common boys names of the 20th century!! Anyway - its never been a problem for him and only his close family call him by his first name.

I'm having a similar dilemna about DS2's name. It's Austen but at least half his first birthday cards were "Austin". Maybe we should change the spelling... but I didn't like the association with Austin Powers!!

chocoplease · 16/04/2008 20:40

My cousins real name Murdo Malcolm but has always been known as Malcolm,even teachers at school. At the ripe old age of 30 he decided to officially change his name as it was very complicated for banks etc so on that score I would say change it but my dad is called by his middle name and never had any problems so hey ho!
Not much help sorry!