Name dilemma - should I change 20 month old DS's name?

[CeilingCat]

This has been preying on my mind for a while now, so I thought I'd run it past the MN jury.

DS as a very unusual (but not 'unique') name. I really love it, BUT no one else does. We always call him by an abbreviation of his name (the abbreviation is quite commonplace) and I now dread people asking me what it's short for. I'm not a 'wacky' person, and I hate confrontation, and I find it hard to deal with the negative reactions.

So, DH and I have been talking about changing his name, either to his abbreviated name, or to another name which could (at a bit of a stretch) be abbreviated to the same nick name.

Hmmm this is sounding complicated isn't it? I don;t want to give the actual names cos it would out me to any RL mates, but here's an approximate equivalent:

DS birth name 'Albus'
Nick name 'Albie'
Possible name change 'Archibald'

THESE ARE NOT THE ACTUAL NAMES, BUT THEY ARE THE BEST EQUIVALENTS I CAN THINK OF.

DH thinks we should just change his name to his nick name, but I'm just not sure. I don't like the idea of him being 'Albie' as an official name IYSWIM.

DH thinks it would be weird to change his name to 'Archibald' as the abbreviation to 'Albie' is too contrived.

We never actually call him 'Albus' and we would probably rarely call him 'Archibald', but I think 'Archibald' is going to serve him better in the future than either 'Albus' or 'Albie'.

Still with me? Whaddya think??

*people's

If it helps, my proper name is Cathleen. I have been called Kate since I was a baby, and am Kate on most things, like my bank account. My signature is Kate+last name, and even on documents like my passport which have my proper name nobody has ever questioned the Kate signature. I was Kate at school, at work - very few people know my full name. If anybody calls me Cathleen, I just say that I am known as Kate, and they say OK.

It has never been any difficulty at all. And it would have been even less difficult if both names had had the same initial.

I am desperate to know what the names in question are........(I told you mine...........!)

When you register him at school just put the nickname then only his birth certificate will have it on. Even if you legally change his name the original will be on the birth certificate still. I changed the spelling of my son's name as he was registered the gaelic spelling and it kept getting mispronounced. As long as you tell everyone his name is the nickname and use it on forms you can mostly ignore the name on the birth certificate.

Katiekin - that's interesting. How about medical records etc (e.g. when you phone NHS direct, or when you receive immunisation reminders)?

seeker - my sister is the same (Katherine, always known as Katy). Initials would be a problem though: Birth name G, NN R, possible name change S

But my initials are different - proper name C, real name K. Still no problem. My medical records say my proper name, but all say "known as..." Still no problem! Honestly!!

He has the new spelling on his NHS card

so two names: g and s that both have nickname r!! That is harder than the Times crossword! how many letters?

Ahhh, well from your wizard comment I'd been thinking Gandalf/ Alf/ Alfred so that's my guess wrong anyway!

I wouldn't change it - no way.

You love it

You chose it for a reason

Don't second guess yourself and let others undermine you...often other people are conservative and traditional just because they don't have the imagination or the courage of their convictions to go with other things

Be strong!

But I have never yet met an adult with a truly "unusual" name who didn't feel at least ambivalent if not actually negative about it.

But again, there is no need to change it - just use the short form. You can tell from my experience that there is no problem with doing this.

I have to say- I am intrigued! (I am very interested in names)

My BIL changed his name when he moved to UK aged 13, as his forename (french) sounds like a girls' name here. He used his middle name, though as an adult, he regrets this, but realises it is too late to switch back. (He just likes the attention it would get him tbh!)

Dd has a very unusual name, which is a very old, traditional as opposed to made-up unusual name, and we have had plenty of blank looks, scathing comments etc. We LOVE her name- we chose it before we knew we were having children, before we got married, years ago. We would never change it. She has a very normal second name, which she is free to change to if she prefers when she is older. (Her name doesn't really have any nicknames, though we have nicknames for her, IYSWIM)
We always said we'd wait until she was born to see who she would be, but when she arrived, she just was this name. It really suits her.

perhaps I should admit, I have a fairly uncommon name, and I hate it

Just tell everyone his name is Albie an don't mention Albus - DS is Maximillian but he is known by everyone as Max we can just piss ourselves when he gets married or gets a degree or something and they call out Maximillian Elliot Twinkie do you take - (Probably Demi Courtney Tallulah) to be your awful wedded wife?

No - don't change his name. You love it, balls to everyone else. Life would be very boring if nobody dared to be different. If his NN is commonplace - nobody need know his 'real' name unless you or he decides to tell. I work with medical records and believe me, this 'my name is Elizabeth, but I'm known as Daisy' thing has been going on forever! Its never been a problem.

My 5 year-old son is known by a nickname, and although the staff at nursery and teachers at school have always called him by his nickname as requested, there are still occasions where his full name crops up - on coat pegs, drawers, etc. He doesn't hate his full name and it is a commonly used abbreviation, but he doesn't like it because to him, it's not his name.

Also, my husband has always been called by his middle name, and although usually not a problem, there is often confusion at hospitals, airports, etc, when 'official' names are used.

I don't know criteria you should use to pick a name, but I know you can't always control how people use the names.

ceilingcat - did you used to have another mumsnet nickname something like mumofone?

And is the nickname for your ds Gerry Rio or something similar?

As I might remember a thread in the Chat topic about it, but I might be going mad.

If I am right then you should change your ds' name I think.

OrangeKnickers - my usual MumsNet name is not mumofone (or anything similar to that).

DS's NN is not Rio. What do you think his full name is? If you get it right, I'll admit to it

I thought you might be Geronimo's mummy.

maybe she was a figment of my imagination.

Oh shit.

I'm simultaneously LOLing and gutted.

Suffice to say she was not a figment of your imagination.

He gets called Ronnie btw.

I am actually wondering if your ds has the same name as my ds, based on your OP.

lol, if so I like the long name too

oh lol no my ds is not called geronimo

What's the S name, that Ronnie could be short for?

Geronimo is a GREAT name!