Surname for baby

[I24]

I’m due around Christmas time and me and my partner can’t decide what to give our baby as a last name.
I want to double barrel it so both mine and his last name and he wants the baby to have just his last name any suggestions

You’re not married.

You’re the one who’s going to be carrying the child for 9 months and doing most of the childcare over the first year.

You double barrel it.

I would double barrel I did with mine

I'd use yours. If you get married in the future you can re register if you then wanted to double barrel. Don't just give the baby his name.

Hyphenate. Doesn't matter whether you get married or not. The baby is both yours and his- she needs both your names.

Just use yours

What's the reason he doesn't want the baby to have both parents' surnames? It had better not be 'tradition' as that would be incorrect. Traditionally babies have their mother's surname but traditionally women also change their names on marriage. So if you're not married or haven't changed your name then he should poke tradition up his bum.

I double married until marriage

I want to double barrel it so both mine and his last name and he wants the baby to have just his last name any suggestions

If he wants to choose the names then he needs to marry you.

Also if he doesn't go to the registry appointment he can't be put on the birth certificate as the father until later.

As you want to double barrel then you double barrel.

If you plan on getting married put his name last. If you don't then the order doesn't matter.

Err, yours!

You’re not married. It’s tradition for a baby to have its mothers surname. It’s just that traditionally women already had their husbands name.

If he wants his surname as the family name - he marries you.

Other than that, baby has your name as you’re the mum, and if you split then the baby will 99% live mostly with you and be mainly resident in your family.

Also, any bloke who has the cheek to WANT to cut your name out and JUST have his, when he doesn’t even have the right legally to have any say at all - what a shit - I’d be telling him he now gets nothing!

Ask him what his problem is with equality

It's completely up to you, dad has no say really.

I'd tell him it's either double barrel or baby has your surname only.

What an entitled arse.

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to have both names? He doesn't want the baby to have your name at all???

In both of your options, the baby has his name.

I would give any baby I had my surname, whatever that may be.

Baby Yoursurname or Baby Hissurname Yoursurname.
if you are certain that you and the father will still be together in 25 yrs time, double barrel. Chances are you won't be.

It’s entirely up to you. Only you can register, so don’t be bullied.

Put it this way, I wouldn’t be hurrying to give my baby the surname of another family, rather than mine, when the father is enough of an entitled arse to want to cut your name out. I’d probably be looking at that response and thinking, hmm, am I really likely to be in a relationship with this arrogant twat in ten years time - possibly not - so probably best this baby has MY surname!

I mean that’s almost made me laugh, the sheer brass neck - he should be hoping you want to include his surname and be busting a gut to show you that he deserves the honour. Wants HIS surname only on a baby whose mother has her own? How fucking dare he?!

Yours only, believe me you’ll be glad you did.

You're not married so your surname.

Just use your name - that’s the tradition and it’s a good one.

Tell him when men can give birth he can choose for the next dc...

Even if they were married that doesn't mean the baby gets his name. She could keep her name and still use hers for the baby or double-barrel.

He wants his surname as his family all have that name I said but I don’t have his name so I don’t see the point in the baby having just his last name.
i feel like it’s also been put on him by his mum that the baby has to have their last name and not mine

But the baby is your family. Nip this in the bud or guaranteed you'll be back on Mumsnet complaining about overbearing MIL.

And all of your family have your name….?

why is that argument relevant to him and not you?

Hyphenated at least but I’d probably go with just your name until you get married.

Why would you care if 'all his family have that name'. It's not your name.

I wouldn't give the baby his surname at all. He sounds like he's being a pain already and the baby isn't born.