Surname for baby

[I24]

I’m due around Christmas time and me and my partner can’t decide what to give our baby as a last name.
I want to double barrel it so both mine and his last name and he wants the baby to have just his last name any suggestions

You should give the baby your surname or double barrel it. Even if he were to say ok let's get married then after baby is born he may well go back on his word. Also it's got absolutely nothing to do with his mother.

Use your surname please. Double barrel if you must but I know quite a few single mums whose children have their ex partner’s names and it’s just not right when it’s the mum who is left doing most of the work to look after those children.

This. Expressed in that way, exactly.

@HoppingPavlova "Disagree with the ‘needs’ aspect. We went a different route altogether and gave ours a new surname that was theirs."

Sorry- "needs" was the wrong word- I didn't mean needs in a practical sense. I meant in a "why let fathers take precedence" sense. I think a new name for the children is a fabulous idea, but a man who won't go for hyphenation is definitely not going to go for that!

@britneyisfree "Easy option. Get down the registry office and get married. Then you all have the same name. He can even register the baby without you"

Welcome to the 1950s.

We know of a family who all took a new, extra name -- so along the lines of kids called Billy and Maisie Newton, parents Ms Jones and Mr Walker became Newton Jones and Newton Walker.

Definitely the child should share a name with you. He needs to get over himself.

Double barrel is the way to go if there’s no agreement. Don’t let him bully you into using his name, but don’t go register the child behind his back with only your name either. Both parents are reasonable if they want their surname to be included (yes, I know how unpopular this opinion is on MN).

Yours or double barrel.

And you don't have to change your name if you get married either, I didn't. I offered to double barrel but only if he did the same.

@Namechanger8 "Both parents are reasonable if they want their surname to be included (yes, I know how unpopular this opinion is on MN)"

Not an unpopular opinion at all. Why do you think that? What's unpopular is men refusing to allow the woman's name to be included, as in this case.

Use your last name. That's what I did.

Not to mention when the single mum meets someone new and has another child. The DM has one surname, DC1 another surname and DC2 another surname.

OK, you never think it will happen to you, but it does happen.
If both children have the mother's surname, it's probably a lot easier.

We need to stop normalizing this and challenging why people accept this without question.

Your surname. I wouldn't double-barrel it.

Of course your surname. And if you marry him he can change his surname to yours if he wants to have the same surname as his child. Don't change your surname to his if you get married, it's a stupid sexist tradition.

I also gave my husband (not married at the time) the same choice. Mine or double barrelled. Despite finding double barrelled 'silly' he did end up choosing the latter...

Well luckily for you it’s not her baby. Married or not, hell would freeze over before I gave my child someone else’s name.

You say in your OP that you and your partner 'can't decide' . This isn't true. He has decided that he wants the baby to have his name, and ONLY his name, he wants your name to form no part in your child's name.
I'd tell him to f off and give the kid your name.
Actually, I'd double barrel because I think the child has a right to both parents names. His attitude would seriously piss me off though.

Tell him he has a choice. Baby can have your name alone, or can be double-barreled.

Tell the sexist moron his choices are double barrel or just your surname.

Could your husbands surname be a proper middle name. So it's got some sort of official recognition as a name in it's own right, and the baby have your surname as it's surname?

Are you expecting/intending on marrying each other and changing your name in the future?

Why does he want it to be only his name?

Tradition for children of unmarried parents was the child to have the mother’s surname. This is why there’s a whole system in place to chance the child’s name upon marriage of the child’s parents. Tradition is the mother and child have the same name. If everyone in your DHs family have the same name, then that’s because no one was having babies unmarried.

Baby had your name, possibly double barrelling to add his name.

Absolutely your last name. His name could be a middle name but you never know what will happen in the future so stick to yours. His Mum doesn't have any say in it!

Either your name alone or double barrelled, preferably with your name first if it works. Tell him that after 9months of growing and then birthing this baby you want to have the same name as it.

If he won't marry you (and make you his family) then he gets no say. Name can always be amended after marriage if necessary.

Protect yourself OP as if you split up you'll want the baby to have your name.

Your name.