Changing babies name - has anyone done this?

[PinkPomelo]

Hi. I want to add my maiden name to my babies name. I regret not doing it when we registered her. Has anyone done this? Will she need to fill out the "have you been known by other names" box for the rest of her life and will it be annoying? It feels almost selfish to change it now. I've already got her an irish and a uk passport! I'm in Scotland so can order a full new birth certificate with new name but I'm not sure if she'll have to enter that old one now forever.

If the baby is less than 12 months old you can get the birth certificate changed. There are many threads discussing it.

Name Change - Before 12 Months Old | Mumsnet
Changing baby middle name | Mumsnet
Regret not putting maiden name is middle name | Mumsnet
etc

IRL the 'have you ever been known by another name?' question doesn't come up very often, and if the BC has been changed (e.g. Pheobe corrected to Phoebe) I don't think you'd need to declare it.

@PinkPomelo , I've linked you by accident to a similar thread you created.
Is there any possibility that something else is troubling you? Please have a chat with your health visitor or GP, because changing the name isn't a big deal if both parents are ok with it.
Change the passports when you get the updated BC.

Overthinking is the issue. Please get help. [hug]

Needed to hear that... thank you. I've spoken to a few people and they're like just change it, she's still small, deal with the admin as it arises. It feels a really big issue to me though... so maybe my mind is not operating normally

Sorry for being blunt. I think that 'baby name regret' might be a symptom of depression, and not the cause. When you have a big change in your life it's like you lose control. Having a baby is a big change in your life and your body and mind can be put under a lot of upheaval.

Committing to something seemingly unchangeable can be frightening, but the good news is that it isn't a big deal to change a little baby's name, and the change you want to make is completely sensible.
I think you want to change the name from something like Amelia Rose Smith to Amelia Rose Pomelo Smith. It sounds like a great idea.

Changing the passports might be a PITA, but it will be a one-off (x2) job. If you leave it to after12 months you'll need to do it by deed poll, not by change to the BC. (Not sure if that's true for Scotland). Are you in urgent need of a passport for the baby? The UK Passport Office seems efficient at the mo' so I doubt it will take long. If it seems daunting could the baby's father do the admin or some of it? It should be a lot less hassle that getting a first passport.

I've been through security clearing and DBS checking a few times and it's usually just 'Other names you have been known by' and the dates. There are far tougher questions on the long form, like where your mother was born (simple question but easy to get wrong). It doesn't really matter that I changed my name 3 times (marriage, marriage, reverted to maiden name).

Your health is what matters here. Get the name changed and talk to the GP and let us know how you get on.

Recording Changes of Forename(s) and Surname(s) in Scotland | National Records of Scotland (nrscotland.gov.uk)

Read the link. It looks like the change of name won't be an issue.

More links:
Change your name or personal details on your passport: How it works - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
Renew Or Replace Passport For A Child | Department Of Foreign Affairs | Ireland.ie | Ireland - this is Ireland (can't find the info you might want but there are contact details)

Thank you. It apparently is easy, though I went through the passport application and it does say you need to declare a name given at birth that changed. So I guess we just do that whenever it renews...

To be fair I was at peace with it and the passport office lady was saying she's never heard of this and she'd have to always put it down as a previous name, but the registrar said she wouldn't because her bc will be completely overwritten since it's scotland... she also said just do it on the passports when they're up for renewal. A quick Google shows that many people do this within the first year for man reasons!

I'm trying to get someone to speak to about potential pnd. I don't think this level of overthinking is right. Even though a name is a very permanent, big deal.

@KirstenBlest do you mean the passport needs to be changed within 12 months otherwise it's deed poll? I haven't read that anywhere. We'll definitely do bc within 12 months to avoid deed poll.

You need to get the birth certificate changed before the baby is 12 months old. Do it now not in a few months' time.

I've no idea about the passport but I'd do it as soon as you have had the birth certificate changed. The longer you leave it, the more time you'll have to worry about it.

You can take a positive step now to address the adding your maiden name to your baby's BC.

There may not be any PND but it does sound like you could do with getting your mental wellness checked just for reassurance. I'd speak to the practice nurse or health visitor. They are there to help.
Are things going OK otherwise, like are you managing to sleep, eat healthily, managing to get washed and dressed etc? How's the baby doing?

Bear in mind I am not medically or psychiatrically qualified in any way, but I have been through something that sounds similar, and it does sound like there's some underlying anxiety or depression.

People always want to assume it is PND. OK, maybe it often is, but in this case it doesn't sound like it (and it wasn't when I changed my baby's name in 2022!), since PP wants to add a name that is meaningful.

OP, it is my understanding that you won't need to declare it, if baby is under 12 months, as their official name changes on their birth certificate. It would only cause issues if done later by deed poll.

Not sure of rules in Scotland as I'm a registrar in England but this should help
https://www.nrscotland.gov.uk/registration/recording-change-of-forename-and-surname-in-scotland

In England before 12 months old it can be a Space 17 change under certain conditions. Beyond that you'd do it by change of name deed.

Whether this is PND or not, I'd do it. I doubt you'd regret including your name in baby's name irrespective of what's driving it.

Edited to add....you would need to update passport or at very least ensure all travel is booked in name on passport until you renew passport at age 5.

@Ankylo , I'm not assuming it's PND, but it does sound like depression from my experience and OP has recently had a baby.
It might be causal depression where removing the cause would make it go away, but it's best to get a check up.

I wasn't singling you out @KirstenBlest or referring to anyone in particular.
I found that people assumed it was just the PND talking for me when I experienced this - on here when I seeked out advice, and the GP. I believe I did have PND, but for me name regret was the main cause. It's the one and only thing I focused on, nothing else was upsetting me. It felt like people weren't listening. My PND immediately went away when we changed his name (it wasn't a quick decision), so I don't feel like that's a coincidence with the timing!
It is the right move to seek help from a professional, but also consider that changing it might also be what OP needs to do too so she doesn't regret it if she leaves it too late (it sounds like she's only adding a name so not as drastic as it was with my case either!)

@Ankylo , I didn't think you were and you made a valid point.
It's the one and only thing I focused on, nothing else was upsetting me. It felt like people weren't listening. My PND immediately went away when we changed his name (it wasn't a quick decision), so I don't feel like that's a coincidence with the timing!

That's pretty much what I was thinking that @PinkPomelo 's situation is. It's not necessarily 'hormones', maybe things like broken sleep pattern and changes.

Once you've made a big commitment (e.g. naming a baby, moving house) you can feel you've somehow made a mistake. In your situation there was a cause, you addressed it, and the problem went.

@PinkPomelo is in a situation where she too can address the cause and I hope will be much happier. No harm in a check-up though.