Sister stole my baby name

[JessMathews8]

I'm really struggling to deal with this, my sister is 10 years older than me and has three children aged between 18 and 15. She was done witn having kids, has said this for years and years. But her new partner wanted a baby.
I have a 6 year old boy, and currently pregnant with a girl. When I was pregnant with my son, before we knew he was a boy I had a girls name set and was after my Nana, always said that the next baby if its a girl I will name her after Nana, it took us 4 years of trying to get pregnant again.

My sister got pregnant one month before I did and said that I'd she has a girl she will be using my Nanas name and it's her name, she's due first so she has first dibs.
She didn't find out what she was having, but she gave birth yesterday, to a girl and has named her after my Nana.
I'm due in 3 weeks, and feel so angry and upset she has used a name for the last 6 years I have said I would use if I have a girl, I found out its a girl at 16 weeks when she told me I could use the name as I know its a girl but shes literally just named her daughter it. Am I an asshole for being upset and mad?

Yabu

you can’t actually put dibs on a name. It’s available until a baby is born and the name is used.

It's still available after. If you want to name her the same you can...

You could still call yours the same.

Use the name 🤷

Tbh its a family name as shes entitled to have it as much as you are. I don't understand the relevance of her deciding to have another child.

Seriously how old are you?!
As above either use the name or don't.
YABU

You could decide it's lovely that the name will live on in the family and look at a variation of the name or use the middle name instead? Is it really worth causing a rift over?

Use the name. Dp has a cousin with the same name

Don't use the name - it's wierd, nobody will care you bagsied it first and you will look like a bit of a wally.

There are literally hundreds of lovely girls names out there - choose another.

YABU.

I’d be mightily pissed off of my sister did this.
But yes still use the name and if anyone asks why you ‘copied’ your sister tell them the truth!!!

What's the name? Can we suggest alternatives?

Sil tried to pull this.... I had told everyone the name I had chosen since I was a child , sil DC was born first she also tried the mine was born first so you can't have it . I just said how wonderful that the cousins will have the same name .... She soon changed it.

Realistically how often will they be together ??

I’d be annoyed too. Just use the name as planned. If your sister is angry then tough, she knew you’d planned to use it.

I understand how you feel.
It was your idea and she has 3 children already, and I assume hasn’t shown an interest in the name before? I would be annoyed too.

I'd be livid. It's not just a name it's THE name which op had planned on using and ops sister knew it. Full on bitch move is the way I see it. I'd be heartbroken if I was op, there's no way both kids could have the same name either. I'd actually cut contact with her and tell her why too.

Op I wanted to name my dd after my Nan but didn't want to use her actual name so used the pet name my grandad called her instead so it still has that link without it being her name. I hope you find another name you like.

This. Just add a different middle name. Or use your Nana's name as your DD middle name. It's your sister's Nana too.

I'd be livid too. It would cause a long argument but I wouldn't cut ties as life is too short.

Did your Nana have a nickname that you could incorporate? Or can you put it into a new name? E.g. say your Nana's name was Anna, could you use Annabelle?

Have you posted about this before?
Just use the name you want.

I totally get why you’re annoyed, especially as you’d had your heart set on that name for so long. Maybe it’s meant to be though and you’ll find the perfect name that’s even better and still gives a link to your family. If you tell us the name we can try to help?

Yep. I'd be angry too.
It seems wrong for so many reasons

1. unless she had three sons before, why hasn't she used the name already if it meant so much?
2. she knows it's your pfb and you had your heart set on it. What kind of sister is she?
3. your parents haven't supported you. No one, including BIL, has said, "Hang on a minute, isn't Jess calling her daughter that?

I honestly would call yours the same name and if she kicks off, tell her that "nobody owns a name" and she can change hers. But I'm stubborn for a reason!

It’s annoying, but it’s her granny too.

No one owns a name etc - and if you want to use it too, do.

What is the name, Op?

Surely she using it to pay homage to her grandmother? Why does it matter so long as one of you use the name. She's used it.

Tbh I was named after a relative and think it's a silly practice in this day and age anyway. Children should have their own first name because they are individual human beings, not extentions of their parents and grandparents. Or pawns to use to garner favor.

Exercise some creativity and choose a new name. You haven't even met your daughter yet, she might not look like she suits the name.

Unless you think she's done it deliberately to spite you, in which case, cut her out of your life and move on. Life's too short already to sleep with snakes.

Is your Nana also her Nana?

If so, why would you get dibs on naming your child after her?