Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

My parents brought me up with a specific pronunciation of my name which was a very unusual one. We all corrected anyone who mispronounced it. It's irish so the spelling was a challenge anyway so people used to listen and try their best to get it right.

Later in life the name got more common and when I was in work everyone mispronounced it. I got bored of correcting them so I now respond to either pronunciation. In a way it's kind of helpful as the people I care about, family and friends all get it right and work people or others get it "wrong". So I know immediately what category someone is in haha.

Keep your pronunciation and just stick with it but accept it will be mispronounced a lot

@StarShine23 , is it something like Amélie, where the French is more like
Am-eh-ly and the anglicised version is more like Ammerly?

If it is, I'd say use your pronunciation but accept that others won't.

(I appreciate that it probably isn't Amélie)

My son is called Santiago in latin america its more like San-TYAG-o. English people call him sant ee ar go or San tee aye go. I call him the spanish version normally and the English version when I'm doing the equivalent of middle naming a naughty child. We don't mind the different pronunciations in different places.

I grew up with caf-ee.

parents from the NE.

I recently met someone from Latvia who introduced herself as LEE-uh-nuh. (I mean that’s how her name sounded to my ears.)

In the activity we were doing, there was a sort of roll call to make sure everyone was there. The group leader called out Lee-Ann, and she said “yes”.

Her name is spelled Liane.

I have a perfectly ordinary name with an unusual spelling. Because of this, people often mispronounce my name. Sometimes I correct them, but if its someone I’m never likely to see again, I don’t worry too much about it.

So, guess it’s as much or as little of a problem as you, and as she gets older your daughter, makes it.

You have a couple of options here. Change the everyday spelling to match the pronunciation. Correct people EVERY SINGLE TIME they say it "wrong" - that's what I did with my son's Scottish name that no-one in England seems to recognise. It sinks in eventually. My mother gave up with my sister's name tho, when we lived abroad as a family, and just let people pronounce it the way they thought it should be.

I'd remind family to get it right but let the rest go. You won't be around to correct people when she goes to school so she'll need to adjust. I worked with 2 Claudias but the Italian one was pronounced Cloudia - they never seemed to mind when people muddled it up and certainly never corrected anyone for doing it.

My son (18y) pronounces his name ‘wrong’ i pronounced it correctly as it would be known in his dad’s country but he prefers his anglised version and that’s fine

Is it an accent thing? I'm Scottish and DH is English, and he absolutely cannot pronounce Ailsa, a girls name without it coming out as Elsa, as in frozen.

Am so surprised by this, as a Carolyne, am often called Carolyn and some take it upon themselves to spell it this way too. Neither are correct, and my name is pronounced Caroline.

If my mother had wanted me to be Carolyn, she would have called me Carolyn.

Because my name can cause issues, I am highly sensitive to others', so always ask how someone's name is pronounced and ensure I spell it correctly too.

Is the pronunciation due to dialect? I know several Olivia's, where I'm from they get called ulivia whereas other regions put emphasis on the O or the Ol.

I'd keep correcting op.

I know a Karen who pronounces her name Care-ren

There was a thread on here where the mother was annoyed that her son's name was said as two syllables. It was William.

I'd say Olivia as 3 syllables - Ol-iv-ya. Others might say it as Ol-iv-y-a.

Is it Maia? I considered it for my dd but the differing pronunciations put me off. I think stick with correcting people

We had the same problem with our youngest.

Chose a name that we thought was totally obviously pronounced one way, and spent the first year of her life gobsmacked and stressed by almost EVERYONE pronouncing it differently from us. I had quite a few threads on here at the time as I was mega stressed by it.

In all honesty I wish I'd changed it straight away as a baby, but we didn't and now we just either ignore the pronunciation or correct them if we feel like it.

Thanks for the comments guys, I've been really interested to know how much of an issue it is for those of you who have experienced something similar. Whether its 'oh my god i hate my parents' every time someone pronounces if different or whether its just a matter of picking your battles and accepting the alternative version when it doesn't really matter. I guess its up to our daughter as she gets older, she can always shorten it or use her middle name if it annoys her.

I thought that's how it was pronounced - or more ezmay (soft s).
Sorry.

@StarShine23 , I was at school with a Siobhan. The name was unusual then and she was initially called 'Sigh-o-ban' os 'Shoban', which she corrected to 'Shevaun'.
This led to her being called 'Shivonne', to which she'd reply 'Shevaun'.
The kids would tease her because she would rise to the bait.

(might have changed the actual name but the issue was the same)

I have an annoying name and my one of my kids has a name with 2 spellings, so the wrong one is frequently used. I honestly don't care. I don't really understand why mispronunciation is so upsetting.

That said I have my kids middle names and would love to redo the naming process now im not hormonal

Impossible to say without knowing the name, but my suggestion.... can you change the spelling to emphasise how you want it pronounced.
E.g. Esmé - spell it Esmay or Esmee?

Is that an accent thing, or more of a regional slang?

I can see that in the NE the -ay sound of cafe would be shorter, more like the e sound in bet, but not ee

But then when I lived in Liverpool words often were shortened and then -ie/y put on the end, brekkie, ciggie, bevvy etc. So is cafee actually caf + ie?

Sara is pronounced Sah-ra, not like Sarah. People who pronounce it sarah annoy me. 😂

I have such a name.
It's "oh my god, I hate my parents".

It really is tedious to have to keep correcting people, or live with being called something that isn't actually your name because you're fed up of correcting.
It's not even a matter of correcting people once. Some people just seem unable to get it. I was actually grateful when DS fell out with his best friend of 10 years because I was so sick of his father's inability to pronounce my name correctly despite numerous reminders.

With regards to the "it doesn't matter" question - would you be happy for people to constantly call you something that isn't actually your name?

Thames estuary.

I have a friend called Corinne, pronounced as it is spelled. I don't know how she feels, but I cringe when people, having heard it when introduced, then proceed to call her "Careen".

If I saw Esmee I would still pronounce it Esmay - I'd assume it was like fiancee, ie a feminised spelling but same pronunciation