Everyone pronounces our daughter's name wrong

[StarShine23]

Hi all, advice needed please.

We named our daughter after someone we know from abroad. Its a pretty simple name but we had never heard it in the UK before. Baby is now 1 and the name has become more popular here, but it has a different pronunciation than we use. The problem we have is we don't like way its pronounced here, but everyone we meet now calls her by the UK version rather than her name, even though we correct them.

Do we:
(a) stick to our original pronunciation, even though it will be a battle for her growing up when other people with the same name all pronounce it the UK way
(b) accept the UK version, even though we dont like it and to us, doesn't suit her
(c) change her name

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do / wish you had done?

We feel awful that we have unwillingly picked something that is going to be tricky for her now all her life, but we love the name.

Is it a bit like Mia/Maya?

I know someone with a Mia but pronounced My-ah.
She has been known to complain about people misspelling and mispronouncing her name.
I always nodded in sympathy but really I'd be thinking, "Daft way to spell Maya.".

That's just sill-ee

Could you change the spelling to emphasise the pronunciation?

E.g. I adore An-yais, the French pronunciation of Agnes, but there's nowt plainer than Ag-nuss in English. So I'd probably write it Anyais or similar.

Is it Aria?

I’d pronounce that spelling of it as any (as in any more) ayse as in face

Why are you being so rude?

That's why in reality I'd probably avoid it all together! It's a minefield

My grandchildren have one parent from another country and their names are pronounced differently from how they are pronounced in the UK. People sometimes pronounce their names wrong if they have only seen it written down but it's easy to put them right. Children and people who have never seen the names written down always pronounce them properly. It doesn't bother the children if someone makes a mistake it's easy to say it's not x it's X .my name is from X country.

Catriona is another possibility- phonically it is cat-ree-own-ah but I believe the Scot’s pronounce it cat-ree-nah

I get the problem. Years ago we were on holiday abroad in a very out-of-the-way place. We met a local family with a delightful little boy whose name was pronounced ‘Testikelees’. We fell in love with the name. We asked the mum to write it down: Testicles.

We gave our eldest this name. We wanted to stay true to the proper spelling. I so often have to correct strangers on the pronunciation that it drives me mad.

To be honest I hear 'cafee' as much as I hear 'caf'. Both less common than attempts to pronounce the accent, but still quite standard.

Is it Deirdre?

I once came across a baby whose name was pronounced called La-buy-a and when I asked the parent how it was spelt (I was filling in forms) it turned out to be Labia.

Oh, so this is turning into a L-A thread. 🙄

Standard where?!

Are we interpreting the same pronunciation? Caf - ee? I've never heard that in my life.

I fucking hate these kinds of threads

My kids have non-British names. We live between two countries I have found that people struggle with pronunciation of many names when unfamiliar. Just roll with it is my advice. My eldest especially has learnt to respond to many variations of her name.

Just correct people on the pronunciation. Takes less than two seconds.

I know we are joking now but man would I like to see Testicles on my register. I mean I'd obviously say it to ryhme with Heracles but I'd be saying testicles in my head.
It would raise a smile every morning, we should encourage it, maybe it would do something for teacher mental health.

I think you just need to politely correct people. Your child will learn to do the same throughout their life (I have an uncommon name and so does my DD)

I work with a lot of children and the name I most often get “wrong” is Evelyn (said Eve-Lyn or more like Evar-lyn). Another is Leila (said Leela or Layla). And Maya (Mya or May-a). I ask the parent which way they like to pronounce it and then try to remember from then onwards!

I know several people in Spain called 'Estefania' (beautiful name in my opinion - why would you shorten it?) yet they call themselves FANNY. They were in for a rude awakening when they started to learn English, or go on trips to England, where FANNY has a non-negotiable second meaning.

Realistically, it’s going to be the way it’s pronounced here.

I have a name that is common here but also common in my parents’ home country. They named me the pronunciation in their native language, but my entire life, everyone (who is from the Uk) pronounces my name the British way. My family do still call me the name as intended, but unless I spend my life correcting everyone, we’ve just adopted the British pronunciation outside my family.

Bit weird to change her name.

You just need to correct people, I'm afraid. It's not the end of the world.

I think calling people by the wrong name and trying to correct them is an exhausting, never ending series of small fires. I am forever called the ugly diminutive version of my name. I honestly can’t stop people without sounding a pain. People do it to show they like me, I’m the arsehole for correcting them. So I inwardly sigh and life carries on.

In your shoes I would correct when easy to do so, use her original name always, but have some acceptance that in this country her name will be continuously mispronounced.

Does she haveamiddle name - use that instead.