Sister said I stole the name she wanted for her baby.

[Mummaneeds]

I just had my first baby - he now 9 weeks old.
During my pregnancy, friends and family threw around names that they liked, but it was never a serious discussion. Towards the end of my pregnancy, my husband’s grandma passed away, whom he was very close with. When our son was born, my husband wanted to have a link for his late grandmother - and we agreed to name our boy after his grandmothers father.
when it came to telling our families, everyone was happy bar one - my younger sister. She is not pregnant, not trying for a baby, but when told of our what name we had decided to name our baby, her response was ‘oh well’ - and was followed by her expressing how she’s always wanted to call her Son by that name. Am I right in thinking WTF?

Yup.
Youre right, shes bonkers

Well she can't use the word "steal" if you didn't know she "had it". And she doesn't even "have it" as she doesn't have a child with that name. Did she actually say you stole it?

It's OK for her to be a little sad that she feels she can't use it in the future, but she will find something else. Or use it anyways. Either is fine.

Yep, WTF is the right response. No one owns a name. She can still call her hypothetical son that name if she really wants to, it literally doesn't matter, I have 3 cousins with the same name as me and it's never been an issue.

She'll get over it.

her response was ‘oh well’ - and was followed by her expressing how she’s always wanted to call her Son by that name

Unless there's more here not in your post, it doesn't sound like she said you stole the name at all. It sounds like she was accepting but a bit tactless when it came to hiding her disappointment.

She probably should have plastered a smile on her face and not said anything, but that's about it, imo.

She's not even pregnant and might not even have a son in the future so I wouldn't give it another thought.

Yes this was my thought. Did she actually say you stole it, or did she just say what you've said in your post?

There are two cousins called Charlie in my family. No one cares because no one owns the name for their exclusive use.

Just to follow on from this: once I was discharged from the hospital, I called her to ask if she was upset - as there had been no communication towards me or my baby which was unusual. She expressed that was hurt that I had ‘stolen’ the name that she wanted for her further children, but that in time she’s forgive and forget - so naturally I began to feel guilty. Looking back, I wish I had left the guilt feeling at the door and prioritised being in love with the name that we had chosen.
also, we aren’t the type of people who would mind if she names her further children the same.

Just to follow on from this: once I was discharged from the hospital, I called her to ask if she was upset - as there had been no communication towards me or my baby which was unusual. She expressed that was hurt that I had ‘stolen’ the name that she wanted for her further children, but that in time she’s forgive and forget - so naturally I began to feel guilty. Looking back, I wish I had left the guilt feeling at the door and prioritised being in love with the name that we had chosen.
also, we aren’t the type of people who would mind if she names her further children the same.

Just to follow on from this: once I was discharged from the hospital, I called her to ask if she was upset - as there had been no communication towards me or my baby which was unusual. She expressed that was hurt that I had ‘stolen’ the name that she wanted for her further children, but that in time she’s forgive and forget - so naturally I began to feel guilty. Looking back, I wish I had left the guilt feeling at the door and prioritised being in love with the name that we had chosen.
also, we aren’t the type of people who would mind if she names her further children the same.

In a later conversation had, her words were ‘I’m hurt that you stolen the name that I wanted for my future kids’

How can you steal a name you didn’t know she wanted for her imaginary children? She’s a goon.

Reading threads like this and being sisterless makes me realise I’m oblivious to a distinct type of sibling interaction. You don’t get this particular style of crazy with brothers.

Enjoy your baby and forget your sister’s 'pain'

She is batshit. Nobody can steal something that doesn't actually exist.
Tell her to wind her neck in

YANBU to be thinking WTF.

She didn’t say anything beforehand, if it was a great grandad I’m guessing it is quite a classic name - Arthur or Charles or whatever, rather than Valentine or Felix - so there will be a fair few friends/relatives anyway with the name in a year or two if she does have a boy!

DS1 is called the name I wanted from a child. But if DH had hated it, we wouldn’t have used it. How does she know that any future father wouldn’t have a brother or nephew already called XXX?!

Had your sister ever told you she planned to use this name for a future child? You can't really call dibs on a name though. She'll get over it.

There's no such thing as owning a name, so really she needs to accept it. When you discussed names even informally was that a name she said she liked?

Tell her to bloody grow up! You have nothing to feel guilty for and she has no right to talk about forgiving you! I'd be pretty angry with her attitude to be honest.

Yes, the talk of forgive and forget is BS. Even if she had said clearly she liked and wanted the name, your husband’s connection to it is a very valid reason for you to choose it!

Tell her to give you a ring once she's rediscovered her marbles.

My sister did the same. Although claiming she didn't want children, would always remind me that I 'stole' the name she wanted.
She claims to have told me the name prior to me having children but never actually had.

She has now been sterilised as 100% doesn't want kids but STILL brings it up on occasion

She's off her head, the dozy cow

It does not matter if she goes on to have a boy and calls him the same name. There are two cousins called James in my family, neither gets shortened and it’s never been a problem

I remember being upset when a close friend decided she loved the name I intended using for my DD and used it when she had her DD first. I just used it anyway, and I still love it. At the time she was a bit surprised and a few people thought I’d copied her, but who cares?
A few years later she named her DS the sane name as mine 😂
I also had friends who were siblings, who both gave their DSs the same name. I have two nephews by the same name.
I also have two aunties by the same name but it’s fine.