Sister said I stole the name she wanted for her baby.

[Mummaneeds]

I just had my first baby - he now 9 weeks old.
During my pregnancy, friends and family threw around names that they liked, but it was never a serious discussion. Towards the end of my pregnancy, my husband’s grandma passed away, whom he was very close with. When our son was born, my husband wanted to have a link for his late grandmother - and we agreed to name our boy after his grandmothers father.
when it came to telling our families, everyone was happy bar one - my younger sister. She is not pregnant, not trying for a baby, but when told of our what name we had decided to name our baby, her response was ‘oh well’ - and was followed by her expressing how she’s always wanted to call her Son by that name. Am I right in thinking WTF?

If you didn’t know that was the name she had always wanted to give her future dc, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Try not to let it spoil this precious time with you new baby or your relationship with your sister.

oh, you do get this particular style of crazy with a brother , in our family it’s called his wife!

everything you do is a problem! Nothing is ever good enough.,

"I've always wanted to call my son that name" isn't anywhere near "You stole my name", so if she only said the former, then I don't see that she was being unreasonable, she was just stating a fact.

Read all OP’s posts on this very short thread. The word stolen was used.

Is she 12?

You had no idea she liked this name, she had never mentioned it to you, right? Does she think she told you?

How on earth can it be anything other than a coincidence?

It sounds like a non thing. Sounds like she got over it pretty quickly?

Ha, you think that's bad, I got you've used the name you knew I always wanted to call my dog from my sister! She did then get said dog a few months later and had to call it something else, which she used to bring up a lot. I just ignored all of it.

Had she and you talked about this growing up? Was it always her favourite name? If, as her sister, you were unaware that she liked this name, it sounds like it’s a recent thing on her side and therefore tou can stop feeling guilty. If, however, as kids you used to talk about it and you knew, you’ve been selfish.

She can use the same name - what's the problem?

She does not even know if she can have children. Not everyone can. And if she does they might not be the right gender for the name, unless it is unisex. She's bonkers.

You don’t get this particular style of crazy with ordinary sisters, either! I mean, most women go through the ‘choosing names for my imaginary future children’ phase when they’re still of an age to play with Tiny Tears dolls.

If my sister had used the name I'd hoped to use for my child and the child had been born I would have said aw that's a lovely name and said no more about it. It might hurt a bit more if she's unable/in no position to have a child, but no, she's being silly

She should have just called it the same thing

Seems deeper to me, I think she’s jealous of your life/baby

I wouldn't be surprised if she just wanted to pee on your good news, has she form for this sort of carry on?

That's crazy, please ignore her. My husbands grandma asked us a few weeks before the baby was due, about names. A cousin ended up using our unusual first AND middle names for their girl a week before ours was born. I was annoyed at that but lesson learnt. Never announce baby names until they've been born.

I think you probably subconsciously stole it but she needs to accept it and move on.

What makes you think that? Given the child was named after a father’s grandparent?!?

Based on your post, she sounds nuts. Crazy.

So, I wonder if there is any more background that isn’t in your post?

My sister copies me all the time. I go to XYZ university? So does she. I want XYZ flowers at my wedding? So does she. I get pregnant? She starts ttc the month after I announce the pregnancy. I’m pregnant and say if it’s a girl I’ll call it ABC? I have a boy and she then has a girl and calls it ABC.

I don’t know you, I don’t know your sister, but maybe just ponder yourself if there is any more history that’s relevant here. Is she really crazy, or was this the last straw in a series of events?

If she has said since childhood that one day she’ll name her son River, and you called your child River, then I could see why she would be upset.

She’s being daft. My sister and my cousin have the same name. It’s absolutely no bother whatsoever, tell her to crack on when the time comes.

@SheilaFentiman The OP references a discussion that took place early on where family members casually mention baby names. Presumably this is where OP's sister makes the fatal mistake of disclosing favourite future baby name. Granny connection provides convenient pretext for justification of using said name.

You have nothing to feel guilty about, you've done nothing wrong, and you need to pull her up and if she mentions it again.

You husband lost a grandparent and you both decided to honour her by giving the baby a male relative's name you knew she'd have loved.

Tell your sister to grow the hell up and get over herself.

Yes, she's out of order.

She's mean and unkind and should apologise. How rude.

it sounds like this was a general discussion.

and convenient pre text? This is a person on the baby’s paternal side who died! Hardly a dastardly plan.

CBA with you. Bye.

You can't "steal" a name and she is being ridiculous. She can still use the name if she wants to, tell her to get a grip and forget about her silly nonsense.