Is it cruel to give your son a “unisex name” nowadays

[Elizabethdelver11]

This is random but i was just looking through the new US Name list and names that were once male names are predominantly girls names and have been for the past 20 years. It just got me thinking about how it would be cruel to give your little boy a name like Ashley, Taylor, Addison, Avery nowadays. (I Always thought Ashley sounded like a girls name anyway)They don’t even make the top 200 now for boys. I would imagine boys today would be heavily bullied to have such “feminine” style names. They are unisex but I think many people now associate them with girls! I know I do. What’s everyone’s opinion on this? Is it just me

Nope, still sound like very unisex names to me.

No! Kids are pretty open minded about different names and tend to 'accept' the names of their mates.

I would imagine boys today would be heavily bullied to have such “feminine” style names.

Only if parents support such narrow minded behaviour.

Taylor & Ashley still sound like unisex names to me. Addison I've only heard as a girls name but it could equally work for a boy.

I suppose it can happen that an originally unisex name can evolve to only belong to one gender though. I know of men called Keri & Tracy in their early 50's - but it would seem unusual for a baby boy to be given either of those names now.

I don't think it would be cruel to give a child any of the names you mentioned, it's not like you're calling them Louise or Kate, or other very obvious female names.

I thought you were going to suggest names like "Shirley", but no I don't think any of your examples are too feminine. Definitely still unisex.

I don’t think those names are feminine. I would assume a boy on every one. I would consider all those to be surname-type names, though. (Not sure about Avery).

I don't like any of those names you listed but some unisex names like Jody, Sacha, Kim, Jesse, I really like. Casey is another with a unisex feel that I like.

Oh yes, Kerry is another one. I like that.

For me, Ashley and Addison do seem more feminine largely because I've only seen them on girls and women in person, but Taylor and Avery I'd lean more towards masculine-neutral no matter what American stats say (which will vary a lot by region) and none of those would I view as 'cruel' for a boy.

But then, my DS2 has when I thought of as a masculine name that I only learned was treated as unisex by some by flipping an i to a y after he was born, had never seen that spelling or used on a girl before I had to keep corrected the spelling and sex. Also, my younger kids go to a school where there are a lot of names that are unisex that I wouldn't have thought of that way (for example, the Tylers are split pretty evenly by sex) and also names like Princess and R'pheel so a name like Avery on a boy barely hits my radar, less so for my kids.

There does tend to be an issue at their school if a name ends up in a movie or game that gets popular (a Mirabel had some frustrating remarks for a few months), but that's something that's entirely out of our hands once we're talking school age.

I only know male Taylors. It's a very masculine sounding name. Like Tyler.

Sounds like you need to address your own internalised misogyny, OP.

It just got me thinking about how it would be cruel to give your little boy a name like Ashley, Taylor, Addison, Avery nowadays.

Not cruel at all. I like Ashley, Taylor and Addison.

Where do you live, op?

Strangely, I thought Ashley was male and Ashleigh was female! Like Robin is male and Robyn female or Peter male and Peta female. Maybe I've bee wrong ALL these years. I think it depends on the name and your association with it. I think of Addison, Avery and Taylor as female names.

Our builder is called Kym/Kim (not sure how he spells it) but I do think of that as female name.

It can cause confusion when people just see the name written or pronounced- like on a CV and assume the gender wrong.

Actually agree.

Different unisex names are more popular for one sex in different countries.

Myself and a few friends have unisex names which aren't British.

We find it funny and sometimes annoying when someone gets well-known with one of our names in the UK because too many stupid people don't know the name is unisex.

Oh and some of the people I know with the more popular unisex names no-one would want to pick on....

Definitely not cruel. We were going to give DC (who turned out to be a girl) a unisex name and happily would have. Except we came up with a better name in terms of her being a girl.

But I would definitely have gone with Ashley or Tyler if DC had been a boy.

I don't really like this widely-held view that it's "cool and modern" to give a girl a boy's name, but "cruel" the other way round.

I'm not saying that's your view OP but I hear it a lot on and offline, either implied or explicitly stated.

They still sound like surnames to me. Ashleigh is the girls form and I know a tayla. I wouldn't give my kids any of those names, girls or boys. I thought you were going to say Vivian or Hilary

For me Addison and Taylor are. Ore masculine names, Ashley is perfect for either sex.
I knew a male biker called Sandy, I never knew it was a unisex name!

There are enough male Ashley’s out there to make it not a problem.

It's not internalised misogyny to carefully consider the name you give your child. There are two different sexes, on the whole, 98% of the time a child's sex is clear from its name, so to do something different on behalf of your child and not for yourself is something that deserves thought.

Sandy can be an abbreviation of Alexander. Scottish I think.

98% of the time a child's sex is clear from its name

I think it's far lower than that. Think of all the people called Sam (antha), Alex (andra), Charlie etc and think of all the non English names, many of which don't make the gender obvious.

As soon as you meet the person the gender will be obvious!

I think the internalised misogyny comments come from the fact that it is often not considered cruel to give a girl a typically boys name, but is in reverse.