Is it cruel to give your son a “unisex name” nowadays

[Elizabethdelver11]

This is random but i was just looking through the new US Name list and names that were once male names are predominantly girls names and have been for the past 20 years. It just got me thinking about how it would be cruel to give your little boy a name like Ashley, Taylor, Addison, Avery nowadays. (I Always thought Ashley sounded like a girls name anyway)They don’t even make the top 200 now for boys. I would imagine boys today would be heavily bullied to have such “feminine” style names. They are unisex but I think many people now associate them with girls! I know I do. What’s everyone’s opinion on this? Is it just me

Southern US

I’m not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing for a boy to have those names, I’m just curious to see what comments they may get in 2022 because they are so widely used for girls and I won’t lie a lot of them have always sounded very feminine to me and I never understand how they were ever boy names for example Ashley, Avery, Aubrey, Riley are sooo feminine I’m my opinion.

I have an Eden (boy) which is predominantly used for girls in this country. Nope, I don't think it's cruel. If Gen Z are anything to go by gender norms are being challenged. If my son doesn't like his name he's welcome to change it when he's older but hopefully he grows up in a society less judgemental without outdated and sexist views.

Aubrey / Ashley /Taylor /Riley- definitely unisex
Addison - add an s and it’s a disease so I wouldn’t use it at all .

I don’t see why you think they are feminine. To my mind, they are clearly male names predominantly. Is it because they end in an -ee sound?

DS has one of these 'cruel' names. Never had any issue with his name and noone has assumed he is a girl. If they did before meeting him...what's the problem with that anyway?

Ashley, Avery, Aubrey, Riley are sooo feminine I’m my opinion

I find them all very masculine sounding. Especially Riley!!

@Snowiscold Probably Is the ee sound. Reminds me of Emily, hailey, lily. Etc

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I think it’d be cruel to call a child in the UK any of those, male of female.

No. I’d associate Taylor more with boys. They are all pretty awful names though, but they are originally surnames so I don’t see how they could be anything other than unisex.

Both of my son's have unisex names and they are now young adults and neither has ever been bullied or had any issues. I think you're being very rude op to 'decide' that certain names are soooo feminine. These are people's names you are slagging off remember.

its a forum, where people can express their opinions😳at least I’m not calling a name “chavvy” or “lower class” as a lot of people do on here.

Calling perfect good boys names 'feminine' is just as bad as chavvy and lower class and that's my opinion!!

Sandy is the Scottish abbreviation for Alexander.

I have a unisex name, people get my sex wrong often, as I do a job more commonly associated with the opposite sex, so on email I probably get 1 or 2 a week addressed to Mr... it really has never ever bothered me.

I agree with the internalised misogyny comment. Oooh the shame of calling a boy Aubrey when it was a boysname to begin with. 🙄
I actually really dislike the trend for giving girls traditionally boys names. It means the pool of boys names is constantly diminishing and its hard enough to pick one as it is.
Surnames as first names is equally horrific to me but that's just my grumpy personal opinion.

the statistics dont lie? Your acting like I’m just stereotyping… there’s literal proof of them being more popular for girls, what’s so wrong about me saying that when it’s the truth?

This thread is obviously off the back of the Kaydence / Aubree thread from yesterday and I will say this - name your child whatever you like , make up any ridiculous spelling you like , feel free to judge other peoples choices in the same way as people will judge yours . However whatever way you look at it a unisex name is a unisex name hence it is not cruel to name your child it even if you are the only person in the country to do so .

Oops I love boys with ‘girly’ names

You haven't just stated statistics though @Elizabethdelver11, you have said it would be cruel to name a boy one of these names as they will be heavily bullied for having a feminine name.

Do you buy in to the 'boys should be strong and tough' bullshit and think there's something lesser to be feminine in any way? If not, then what's the issue?

Reminds me of Emily, hailey, lily, etc

Riley and Hailey are surnames. So is Avery, and Addison too. The EE ending is beside the point.

Addison is also the name of one of the cross streets where Wrigley Field, home field of the Chicago Cubs baseball team ( the other street is Sheffield). Lots of male Addisons in the Chicago area are named in honour of the Cubbies. Lots of female Addisons are named partly after a great aunt Ada or Adelaide who was always known as Addie, as are the girls. Lots of them are named Addison for no reason at all except that their parents like the name or because Madison wasn't modern enough. There was also an American Girl Doll in the 90s called Addie iirc, which brought the name into circulation.

I think you're reading too much into details of the names (sounds, etc) that are not relevant.

Would you consider it a crime to name a girl Merrick, Campbell, Elliott, or Bennett? I know these four individuals. The proportion of male and female Ryans I know under age ten is about 6:4, M:F.

This idea that you can bully proof your child just by choosing a particular type of name, or clothing, or hairstyle, or brand of shoes or backpack, etc. flies in the face of everything we know about bullying. Bullies bully because of their own issues.

I only know male Ashleys and Taylors. I don't think your examples would be cruel at all (although tbh I hate Addison on either sex). Name trends in the USA aren't the same in the UK.

This idea that you can bully proof your child just by choosing a particular type of name, or clothing, or hairstyle, or brand of shoes or backpack, etc. flies in the face of everything we know about bullying. Bullies bully because of their own issues.

Exactly, although teasing is done much more and getting confused by bullying.

Regarding Ashley, I think it depends where you are from.

I'm in Scotland and all Ashleys I've ever known are girls. However, I know it's very unisex in England.

I do think there's a difference between teasing and bullying. Not sure if the distinction is always made here on MN. The expectation that children will never poke fun at your child is unrealistic and sets up children for upset. Dealing with teasing is part of childhood.