Changing baby's name

[TulipPeony1]

Hello I have a 7 month old son which we thought we had named a unisex name as we liked it for a girl and for a boy. It turns out since naming him and introducing him to the world that no one has heard of a boy called this name and I have had so many comments from people assuming he's a girl. I am really gutted as it was the only name that me and my husband could agree on and I am really concerned that our son will have issues with this his whole life. I really wish we had named him something else, although I don't know what that would have been. I think about it constantly and hate introducing him by name to people now because I just anticipate their reaction. I have had it in baby group where the teacher called him "she" during one of the songs and I had to correct her. She said that she'd never heard of a boy called that before so thought he was a girl even though he was dressed in what would be described as 'boy clothes'. I've had people think he's a boy and ask "what's his name?" then when I answer they say "oh she's a girl" nope! It's really disappointing and I hate that it's being spoken about. My mum had issues at the hairdressers when another person overheard her talking and commented that it was a girl's name. It just feels like everywhere and I'm really upset that he will bear the brunt of this. I don't know what I want people on here to say really. I'm reluctant to say his name seen as no boy ever seems to have been called this before it would be completely obvious, but I just wanted to see if others would feel the same in my shoes and what you would do.

Thank you

Thank you 😊
You both chose your little boys name for a reason, don't let people's reactions take that away from you. It takes a while for a name to sink in and if you stick with it, it will become easier.
There are all sorts of names out there now. Don't change it.

Thank you 😢 It's quite emotional choosing a name and then having people react to it. I thought not telling people while we were choosing was best but maybe if we'd had these reactions before he was born we would have picked something else. Although I really don't know what! We did choose it for a reason though and hopefully you're right and people will get used to it. I just really hate to think of him being bullied/picked on for it.

@pinklavenders , Jack Monroe is not the name her parents gave her.

Could you use a middle name instead?

Would it be too outing to share the name? It’s hard to say without knowing.
I can imagine it’s frustrating having to explain he’s a boy over and over. Sorry this is happening OP. 😞

I'd imagine it's something like Courtney, Lesley...

A name is honestly what you make of it. I have a name that is foreign and is never pronounced correctly by British people, I've just got used to my name being butchered even after I correct people. You are always going to get ignorant people with regards to names whether pronunciation or association.

Is it a name that is likely to become more common as a unisex name?

I think you should just own it. Your child might appreciate having an unusual name when their older. I still love having my unique name even with the mispronunciations!

Sooo have a really wierd question - what name will my scans and baby maternity notes have also what name.will my baby be given once born

I was married in 2014 so my name changed from my maiden name to my married, I have a son born 2015 , but soon after followed with my divorce 2017

i still hold my married surname on my nhs medical and bank and all files except my driving license and passport are back in my maiden name purely to keep the same surname as my son.

Since then I have my new partner 2020 obviously his name is different, we have spoke of being married but it's just not happened yet, we have found out we are expecting a baby, and for obvious reasons I'm thinking the worst tsaid our baby will be given my ex husbands name 🤦‍♀️ as my records at hospital are under that, I'd it true would that happen?? Or is there an option have have the baby surname on scans and once it's born my partners even though we ain't married.

What a palava - it's starting to worry him though an he really isn't liking it.

@NCAB, as far I understand it the baby will be given your surname. So yeah, the same as your ex-husband's. You'd probably get good advice if you started a thread on the Chat board.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat

As in the baby's surname in the hospital? They don't put baby's first name on any hospital documents nowadays including the hospital wrist band they put on the baby, they do put the surname on it though as "baby SURNAME".

I think so with the reaction I've had so far IRL. That is exactly it having to explain that he's a boy repeatedly and getting questioned about why we named him that. I didn't realise it was thought of as a girl's name as I heard it first on a boy.

If you are fed up and embarrassed of it after 7months, don’t subject your child to a lifetime of it.

He doesn't have a middle name but that is a good idea, maybe we could add one and then we could call him by that or he could choose as he gets older. It took us so long to agree on the 1 name he has there was never another name to use as a middle name!!

Don't use a middle name as a known as name. If he is Robert Shirley Smith known as Robert, fine, but Shirley Robert Smith still looks like a girl's name

Thank you for your take on it 😊 It could become more common as a unisex name I'm not sure as I believed it was already. I wasn't expecting this reaction from people. You're right there really are ignorant people out there. I had assumed people just accept names that babies are given once baby is born and were more likely to judge during the name deciding stage which is why we kept our names to ourselves but that's not what has happened.

Just change it

I see your point. Thinking about it like that I'm not actually fed up or embarrassed of the name. I love the name and he suits it because I know it as a boy's name but it really concerns me how others react and that's what I'm fed up with. I think that's partly why I don't want to say the name as I don't want any more focus on the specific name itself, it's more the assumption that he's a girl and judgement from others.

Just tell us the name. You haven't said anything to be concerned about if anyone does recognise you.

Have you checked on the darkgreener website? It tells you trends/statistics of names in the UK. Might be interesting or helpful to see if there were many other boys named this compared to girls in recent years.

No I didn't know about that website thank you. I've just had a look and it is predominantly a girl's name, only a handful of boys have been named it 😔

Can you shorten it to a boyish nickname you like?

This was what I was going to suggest, I think without knowing the name it's hard to give an opinion but my daughter has a unisex name people presume she's a boy doctor said he I correct to she and nobody has commented further accept to change their pronoun to using she
So I think people have been quite rude to voice their opinions to your face

If you look up a name on darkgreener, if it is unisex it will look something like this:
names.darkgreener.com/#eden

I used Eden and also looked up Rowan
names.darkgreener.com/#rowan

Eden is more popular for girls and Rowan more popular for boys

might be different if you are not in England and Wales

Fgs give the baby your name. Yours. Not whatever man is there.

op, chnage the name. it's more the assumption that he's a girl and judgement from others why want this for your child for his life?

I work in a maternity unit. Your baby will be labelled as 'Baby Surname', and your baby's immediate records will have your surname attached to them, as they will all be labelled 'Baby of.... Surname'. Basically, whatever surname is on your booking records will be what's on your scans and records etc.

When baby is born this is more to do with security reasons, in case we have to go round checking mothers and babies labels to check they're with the right people!!