Disagreeing with husband

[New30]

Hi

After multiple miscarriages and a difficult pregnancy our baby girl arrived over a week ago. The problem I now have is she ha no name. There is absolutely nothing that husband and I can agree on. He likes names that sound good in multiple languages, Cleo, Celia etc, I prefer plain and simple like Jenny and Charlotte. Help?!? How do we come to an agreement and can anyone suggest a name we might not of considered? I am getting really very upset by the situation

I think you get to choose because you carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her.

Doesn't sound like too hard a combination to make. Have a look at names you like and find the ones that work in other languages too and make a list. Get him to do the same in reverse. See if you have any in common

Laura
Maria
Anna
Ava. Comes to mind

Which languages in particular does he want the name to work in?
Some ideas may be:
Lia (Leah but spelt in a way that’s used in Greece, Spain etc but still a classic name)
Elodie
Katrina
Anna
Isabella
Maya

Charlotte is beautiful. You could have celia as a middle name.

Sorry I should have said. We both wrote lists of our top 20 names and there was no crossover.

@Skelligsfeathers

I think you get to choose because you carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her.

Today was the first time I said to him so I not just get the final say. He will just complain about it for the next 20 years so it probably isn’t worth it.

I’m so upset and it is having an impact on my bonding.

I'm not talking of your favourites. I'm. Saying look at names you could both tolerate. And see where that leads.

There are apps you can both use to see if you get overlaps.

My children are not named anything near what I had expected when I was a teenage early.20s. They have names dh and I worked hard together to find names we liked and felt worked for our child. Now years later I LOVE. Their names. It's a part of our family path to find names we both liked.

@Skelligsfeathers

I think you get to choose because you carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her.

What toxic advice.

Parenting, including naming the child, should be a collaboration both parents agree on, being the mother doesn't mean her opinion trumps her husband. Any patent has the right to veto a name choice for any reason. Normally a compromise has to be reached, but bare minimum is both liking the name and agreeing to it.

OP - hopefully you can come to a choice you both love, perhaps try Kinder (an app that is like Tinder for names, any names you both swipe right on flash up as an option). My person favourite for classic, simple, yet beautiful, interesting, and not overly common name is Claudia.

@Skelligsfeathers

I think you get to choose because you carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her.

That’s just manipulative bullshit.

Nothing wrong with Celia, Jenny or Charlotte, Cleo is already shortened so I wouldn’t choose that.
You should not be disagreeing as long as the names are sensible.

You lot are so strong on here.
“Manipulative”
“Toxic”
Oh deary me. You’ve got to laugh because otherwise
Try not to think so harshly against others, your life will feel a lot less stressful.

Think we me and my DH with both our children. We both like vastly different names. His were more trendy and mine were more traditional. In the end I had to play the I've just carried them for 9 month and pushed them out of my Hoo Haa they will be called xxx!

I'd say try Kinder.
How about Genevieve, nn Jenny? That sounds beautiful in French.

Catherine? Also lovely in many other languages.

Or there is always Elizabeth and Margaret with scope for many, many short forms?

Can you share the top 20 names you've each vetoed?

Echo the suggestion for the Kinder app, or if that doesn’t work, you could each independently look through the top 200 names and mark ones you like, then se if there’s any crossover in that. If not, then you’ll both need to broaden your minds and start again.

No one parent (unless they are parenting alone) should get to unilaterally decide the baby’s name. Starting your parenting journey off with resentment and lack of compromise is a really bad idea.

Here are names I think which are simple and international:
Alice
Anna
Clara
Elizabeth
Freya
Nina
Stella
Tess
Vita

My list
Ruth
Jenny
Fern
Cora
Alice
Aine
Charlotte
Pippa
Sarah
Eleanor

His list
Alma
Celia
Clementine
Cleo
Darcy
Eliza
Fleur
Isaline
Josephine
Mabel
Penelope
Remi
Ren
Sara
Zoe

Would he like Seraphina/Serafina?

You can always nn her Sera for short.

I prefer his list tbh.

You're both being pretty inflexible if you can't agree on Sarah/Sara! That's the same name!

@Skelligsfeathers

I think you get to choose because you carried her for 9 months and gave birth to her.

Elizabeth nn Eliza?

What about Anna?

It's almost like a cross between Aine and Alma, very plain and simple, very international.

To be honest, your lists don't seem wildly different in style so I'm surprised there is absolutely no crossover at all.

Sara or Sarah then? Clearly!??

I like his list.

Apart from Isaline. Sounds like Invisalign.

You've got Sarah and he's got Sara listed - maybe you could toss a coin on that one?

Those lists aren’t too far apart in style really. What would happen if you expanded to a top 25 each? Sarah/Sara and Eleanor/Eliza in particular are very similar to me. Could with of you compromise on a Sara(h) variant? Another El- name? Elena, Eliana, Elise, Ella, Eloise, Elodie?