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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Should I change my babies name?

54 replies

RachOliva21 · 28/02/2022 01:38

Hi guys, please can you help me with a dilemma! Me and my sister are both pregnant with girls and we haven't discussed baby names with each other at all. She's much further along and today announced her babies name will be Cara. I'm now confused on what I should do as me and my partner have chosen Zara for our daughters name! Her babies middle name is going to be after our Grandmother who died last year and that was my plan. It's a situation where all I can think is what are the odds! I've had my daughters name made up in my mind for the last few years and I've never imagined naming my daughter anything else so I don't even have a back-up. I'm nervous if I go ahead she's going to think I copied her and it's going to cause a drama but at the same time it's the only name I've wanted for a girl. The middle name I'm happy to change to something else but would you change the first name in my situation?

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Saltyquiche · 28/02/2022 01:41

Cara and Zara are different names and different enough not to worry. What do the names mean?

Saltyquiche · 28/02/2022 01:45

Ted and Fred

Bea and Dee

Similar sound but different

Rodion · 28/02/2022 01:50

It's not actually the same name (and even if it was you could still use it). Personally I would keep the name but let my sister know soon about your long standing plan of Zara so it doesn't come as a surprise further down the road. I'd keep it light and cheerful, but be clear you are letting her know and not asking for permission.

PoniesLove · 28/02/2022 07:28

Use it!! It’s not the same xx

Saltnpepperr · 28/02/2022 07:44

Let her know straight away what name you were planning on. It’s a different name. Get it out in the open that that was your plan so it’s not a surprise. They are similar but not the same. The middle name is ok to have the same I think as it’s honouring a grandmother.

babyjellyfish · 28/02/2022 07:50

Talk to your sister?

In your situation I would be tempted to change the first name to something that doesn't rhyme (Zoe?) but keep the middle name.

All my male cousins on one side of the family have the same middle name (my Gran's maiden name) and it's a non issue. My mum actually wishes she'd given it to my brother too because he's the only one who doesn't have it.

AntiHop · 28/02/2022 07:52

Is there any chance they'll be at the same school? Are they're surnames going to be the same?

Jacketandbeans · 28/02/2022 14:21

I wouldn't worry about this at all. Different names completely.

JenniferBarkley · 28/02/2022 14:28

I would keep the middle name but change the first name, just because I wouldn't want anyone thinking I'd copied or making fun of the rhyming, singsong nature of the names together.

bloominglovelyorange · 28/02/2022 15:01

I would only assume it was a copy of it was the same name
Zara is gorgeous and a top 100 name which means it's common enough that I doubt anyone would think about it. I'd tell your sister but I honestly wouldn't worry

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/02/2022 15:33

Just use it. They are both popular names right now, so no surprise. Neither is using your granny’s name as a middle name - you could perhaps add your partners mum as a point of difference (if you like.)

Original poster

RachOliva21 · 28/02/2022 19:05

Thanks all! I checked with my other sister and she said I think I should change the name as my middle sister can be quite dramatic about things. Waiting for my sister to get home from work and I will give her a call and explain the situation! I've got messages with my partner about the name before she announced it so we will see I guess.

OP posts:

LottieDot · 28/02/2022 19:08

Is there a version of your grans name you could use in the middle? Like Eliza instead if Elizabeth etc? Definitely keep Zara though, hope your sister is understanding.

Original poster

RachOliva21 · 28/02/2022 19:08

@Saltyquiche The name Zara has a few meanings including princess and radiance. It's become quite common but I've also just found it cute.

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 28/02/2022 19:08

I wouldn't tell your sister. Just use the name. Presumably they'll have different surnames. Don't worry about the middle name being the same, it's fine.

NoSquirrels · 28/02/2022 19:10

Oh gosh - I’m afraid I wouldn’t like this if I was your sister and if you said you were 100% set on Zara then I’d change away from Cara myself. I probably wouldn’t be thrilled but there’s loads of gorgeous girls names so I’d go for Carys, or Cora, or something else entirely. I wouldn’t mind the middle name being the same.

Justkeeppedaling · 28/02/2022 19:10

What about using your grandmother's name as a first name and Zara in the middle?

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/02/2022 19:14

The two names sound completely different. Cara is a short sound, a bit like the ou in cough while Zara has a long a a sound. The only similarity is in the spelling.

Even if they did rhyme, I wouldn't see it as a big deal.

ofwarren · 28/02/2022 19:23

@OchonAgusOchonOh

The two names sound completely different. Cara is a short sound, a bit like the ou in cough while Zara has a long a a sound. The only similarity is in the spelling.

Even if they did rhyme, I wouldn't see it as a big deal.

They rhyme in my accent.

BabyTurtIe · 28/02/2022 19:26

I find MN is weird about this kind of thing and doesn’t reflect reality, no way would I name my child a name that rhymes with my sisters child’s name! But on MN everyone will tell you it’s fine, it isn’t and I would be annoyed if I was her.

TracyMosby · 28/02/2022 19:29

I dont think it is an issue.

NoSquirrels · 28/02/2022 19:31

@OchonAgusOchonOh

The two names sound completely different. Cara is a short sound, a bit like the ou in cough while Zara has a long a a sound. The only similarity is in the spelling.

Even if they did rhyme, I wouldn't see it as a big deal.

Err, I think your pronunciation of Cara might be an outlier.

tearinghairout · 28/02/2022 19:36

I think you should stick with the name you love. I can't see any possible reason for changing it. So cousins will have names that rhyme. And?! If it were your baby that was due first, would you expect your sister to drop Cara? And no-one is going to be comparing their middle names.

OchonAgusOchonOh · 28/02/2022 19:43

@NoSquirrels - Err, I think your pronunciation of Cara might be an outlier.

It's an Irish name, meaning friend. I'm definitely pronouncing that correctly

However, I have Googled and apparently there is an Italian name and a Spanish name spelt the same. They're obviously pronouncing it wrong though

mooonbaby · 28/02/2022 19:52

My son is called Teddy and his cousin who is 6 months older is Eddie. No one has ever said anything about it. You’ll be fine, stick with Zara. That’s your daughter’s name 💖

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