Should I change my babies name?

[RachOliva21]

Hi guys, please can you help me with a dilemma! Me and my sister are both pregnant with girls and we haven't discussed baby names with each other at all. She's much further along and today announced her babies name will be Cara. I'm now confused on what I should do as me and my partner have chosen Zara for our daughters name! Her babies middle name is going to be after our Grandmother who died last year and that was my plan. It's a situation where all I can think is what are the odds! I've had my daughters name made up in my mind for the last few years and I've never imagined naming my daughter anything else so I don't even have a back-up. I'm nervous if I go ahead she's going to think I copied her and it's going to cause a drama but at the same time it's the only name I've wanted for a girl. The middle name I'm happy to change to something else but would you change the first name in my situation?

@OchonAgusOchonOh

The two names sound completely different. Cara is a short sound, a bit like the ou in cough while Zara has a long a a sound. The only similarity is in the spelling.

Even if they did rhyme, I wouldn't see it as a big deal.

I'm RP and they rhyme

I think it's fine that the names rhyme. If your first child was Zara and you were thinking of calling your second Cara then that would be weird but that's not the case here. FWIW I think the middle name is fine too.

As I have said on other posts, I have cousins with the same first names. No1 has ever batted an eyelid
Call your baby what you want

Just tell her when the baby’s born. Only a horrible person would criticise the name of a baby when they’ve arrived!

@OchonAgusOchonOh

The two names sound completely different. Cara is a short sound, a bit like the ou in cough while Zara has a long a a sound. The only similarity is in the spelling.

Even if they did rhyme, I wouldn't see it as a big deal.

Cara is pronounced exactly like Zara.

Well it is in my accent. Depends where you’re from. My husband is from two hours up the road and says it slightly differently.

It’s my girls name for baby due soon.

OP - I say go for it. They are still different names. If your sister is pissed she’ll get over it soon enough!

[quote OchonAgusOchonOh]**@NoSquirrels* - Err, I think your pronunciation of Cara might be an outlier.*

It's an Irish name, meaning friend. I'm definitely pronouncing that correctly

However, I have Googled and apparently there is an Italian name and a Spanish name spelt the same. They're obviously pronouncing it wrong though [/quote]
Ah, OK - in an Irish accent I get what you mean for pronunciation.

OP - I say go for it. They are still different names. If your sister is pissed she’ll get over it soon enough!

I totally disagree with this. If it upsets your sister, you are essentially teaching your new daughter to prioritise what YOU want and what YOU have made your mind up on over kindness and compassion towards a pregnant sister. You will have to explain this to her when she asks in later in life "Why did you call me a name which rhymed with cousin Cara?"

On the other hand you could give her a different name and later in life teach her "You were going to be called Zara but..." and she will see flexibility and kindness.

There are so many more important things you can give your daughter from this situation than a name.

@BabyTurtIe

I find MN is weird about this kind of thing and doesn’t reflect reality, no way would I name my child a name that rhymes with my sisters child’s name! But on MN everyone will tell you it’s fine, it isn’t and I would be annoyed if I was her.

I would. If I had a name I wanted to use, I would use it

@Greentrees2021

*OP - I say go for it. They are still different names. If your sister is pissed she’ll get over it soon enough!*

I totally disagree with this. If it upsets your sister, you are essentially teaching your new daughter to prioritise what YOU want and what YOU have made your mind up on over kindness and compassion towards a pregnant sister. You will have to explain this to her when she asks in later in life "Why did you call me a name which rhymed with cousin Cara?"

On the other hand you could give her a different name and later in life teach her "You were going to be called Zara but..." and she will see flexibility and kindness.

There are so many more important things you can give your daughter from this situation than a name.

Really??

I see this as teaching your child that your wants are not as important as other people's wants.

"Why did you call me a name which rhymed with cousin Cara?"
Just weird we both picked a name we liked, aren't you lucky

@dfendyr

If her sister doesn't mind then fair enough. But if it upsets her sister and OP does it anyway then I strongly believe that it's teaching your child that what you want (even if something like a name where there are 1000s of other options) is more important than family harmony, relationships and kindness. Just be aware if that's an example you want to set your child on how to treat others. It could come back to bite when Zara treats her future siblings this way!

I have cousins (siblings) who rhyme, and my sister rhymes with my son. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but I do think you should let your sister know.

I don't see the issue with this, personally. You should both just use the names you like, and so what if they rhyne? It really wouldn't bother me.

I'm Anna and my cousin is Hannah and I only have four cousins 😆

My mum is the middle one of three girls. Both her sisters had daughters, and they were both named the same name - my mums name! So I have two cousins with the same name as my mum. Never thought it strange.

@BabyTurtIe I feel totally opposite. Feel mumsnet is often quite strict with this sort of thing when the reality is this lady has texts about how they'll call baby Zara before Cara was even named
To me it's completely fine id probably run it past my sister, show her the Zara texts as evidence, ask her if she's ok about it (I would imagine she would be fine?!) then hope to just move on.

I'd find it quite cool if my name rhymed with my cousins by the way!

[quote bloominglovelyorange]@BabyTurtIe I feel totally opposite. Feel mumsnet is often quite strict with this sort of thing when the reality is this lady has texts about how they'll call baby Zara before Cara was even named
To me it's completely fine id probably run it past my sister, show her the Zara texts as evidence, ask her if she's ok about it (I would imagine she would be fine?!) then hope to just move on.[/quote]
Nope I’ve seen loads of threads on here where people have said it’s perfectly fine to name your child the same name as a friends child or even family member if you don’t see them often even when it’s the exact same name and it’s often “nobody owns a name” to justify naming your child the exact same name as a friend I mean why would anyone do that, if you haven’t see those threads then I’m surprised as they come up often!

Don't give it another thought

Thanks I've read all comments and they're really helpful, I decided it's best to tell my sister in person rather than over the phone so I'll wait until the weekend

@NoSquirrels it's definitely an accent thing, I'm from London and they rhyme!

@mooonbaby did family members say anything to you when you chose Teddy or were they all relaxed?

No, no one said anything. Their full names are Theodore and Edward and Eddie was called Edward for a while before Eddie stuck so that might have made it easier.

I’d speak to your sister and let her know you’ve had the name Zara for years. She might be really understanding and totally ok with it. I hope she is!

I wouldn't tell her if she is known for being dramatic. Much more difficult for her to object/have a fit when you sat "this is baby Zara" rather than at the ideas stage.

Only speak to her if you may change your mind if she is really annoyed.

If you love it I'd keep it.. she'll understand she's your sister 🥰 cara and Zara even though they're the same sounding name they both different 🥰

Is there another sister about to have a Sara?

But seriously they are not pronounced the same!

Cara - Car-a (like car in Caroline)

Zara - zaahr-ah

Can’t see a problem.