MIL and baby name.

[nameechangeeforthiis]

My MIL has said if we give our child the middle name we have said she won't have anything to do with the baby.

Due to something that apparently happened to her in past by a man with this name!? Opinions?

Tell her that’s fine by you

That's a shame that you'll miss out

She sounds demanding! What is she like generally?

I mean that's what you reply ^

@Jjjayfee self centred

Sounds like she is doing you a favour. Ignore her nonsense.

Her loss then.

Use the name.

Normally I’m all for telling people to butt out but it would depend on what happened. The name of an ex that broke her heart nah she’ll get over it.
The name of a man that raped her. I’d probably pick another name.

Let’s just think about this - usually I would say she is being ridiculous and demanding. But if it’s something that ‘happened to her with a man’ by this name, it may be pretty bad and I could understand if it is linked to traumatic experiences and memories. Is there a particular reason you need to have this middle name?

DH said she is going to "kick off" meaning fall out with us, become a sob story, poor me. She didn't meet our second child until almost 1 year after a fall out!

I cba with the drama!

It would also depend on what she was normally like. And whether this is the sort of thing she’d normally say to get her own way

Ummmm, depends.

If she was violently raped by a man of that name it would be extremely triggering for her and insensitive of you.

If it is a common enough boys name and she once had a casual boyfriend of that name and it ended with a few tears then she us being difficult.

@mnahmnah DH has told me the thing that happened but won't share on here as have to go into to much detail for the full story basically back then it happened and then she changed her mind and it almost happened but now shes decided it definitely happened since the name has been brought up!

She sounds delightful.

New baby would be having the name we picked, couldn’t care less what anyone else said . It will be her loss.

It seems a shame that she is making things difficult. Perhaps slightly change the middle name?

@2pinkginsplease DH is happy to still use the name as I have left it up to him.

I said the way I feel is if she had been consistent in our DC lives and been a good GP then I would pick something else, but she hasn't even been to see them since October? Never ring's or text's to ask about them so why should I

@mnahmnah DD picked his middle name and even when iv mentioned others she says no his name is X X. DD wanted it to be his first name

Use the name and use her 'I won't see my gc as a blessing to step away from the dramas

[quote nameechangeeforthiis]@mnahmnah DH has told me the thing that happened but won't share on here as have to go into to much detail for the full story basically back then it happened and then she changed her mind and it almost happened but now shes decided it definitely happened since the name has been brought up! [/quote]
Is it an assault? If so it would be cruel to use the name

Use it as the first name to show her that tantruming isntva useful tool she can use to get her own way.

I would be tempted to give the baby the name as a first name but then I don't react well to attempts to control me

If this man assaulted her then despite what she is usually like i can understand what she is saying and it's really inappropriate for you to use that name.

@Cottonfrenzie from what dh says it was a ONS she made out as an assault to FIL until SHTF and it then it never happened

Office of National Statistics? You may have to help me out a bit here with your abbreviations

It’s odd she can’t see that you don’t just demand what you want, no matter what happened. Any reasonable person would either try and get help to deal with the issue and make it easier or gently ask , certainly not threaten no contact I wouldn’t think . It must be sensitive though so puts you in a hard position