Page 2 | MIL and baby name.

nameechangeeforthiis · 2022-02-12T16:20:48+00:00

My MIL has said if we give our child the middle name we have said she won't have anything to do with the baby. Due to something that apparently happened to her in past by a man with this name!? Opinions?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

toomuchlaundry · 12/02/2022 16:54

What does FIL think?

ThirdElephant · 12/02/2022 16:57

@BunnyRuddington

Office of National Statistics? You may have to help me out a bit here with your abbreviations

One night stand. MIL said she was raped then started denying it had ever happened.

If I'm reading the update correctly.

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 12/02/2022 16:57

@BunnyRuddington one night stand

OP posts:

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 12/02/2022 17:00

@toomuchlaundry he agree's with her, the thing is she was rambling on about a different man to begin with to do with DH when he was younger then when DH wasn't showing any interest she started about this other situation but didn't go into any detail, then suggested another name after a family member.

OP posts:

BunnyRuddington · 12/02/2022 17:04

I would use the name in that case if you both like it. She sounds unstable at best.

Blackmail is never a good look for anyone and if she chooses not to be in your LO's life, well, that's a choice she's entitled to make.

Luredbyapomegranate · 12/02/2022 17:16

Treat it like she is joking and ignore
Don’t give her any attention whatsoever or respond in any way

Hesma · 12/02/2022 17:26

Difficult unless you know why. If it’s someone who conned her out of £100 for example then she is BU but if someone with that name attacked or raped her and I can understand why she’d be so upset. Maybe you should gently ask her

FourChimneys · 12/02/2022 17:45

My DH has the same name as the man who regularly sexually abused me in my teens. So what? Should I not have married him? Should I have spent the last 3 decades being "triggered" every time his name is used?

Call your baby what you like OP. There's a strong chance he/she will be around a lot longer than your mil.

TabithaTittlemouse · 12/02/2022 17:48

I think it’s quite insensitive.

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 12/02/2022 17:56

@TabithaTittlemouse I spoke to SIL and she was really annoyed and said its her loss then, coming from her own daughter that gives you an idea of the type of person she is!

OP posts:

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 12/02/2022 17:57

@FourChimneys Thats very brave of you to share thank you, I don't think this man attacked her or raped her unfortunately she is known for telling lie's and making up stories for attention

OP posts:

LadyEloise1 · 12/02/2022 18:06

What does SHTF mean

strawberry2017 · 12/02/2022 18:14

Shit hit the fan

Babadook76 · 12/02/2022 18:16

@FourChimneys

My DH has the same name as the man who regularly sexually abused me in my teens. So what? Should I not have married him? Should I have spent the last 3 decades being "triggered" every time his name is used?

Call your baby what you like OP. There's a strong chance he/she will be around a lot longer than your mil.

This. It’s just a name.

redandwhite1 · 12/02/2022 18:20

Wow

I'd say fine then! Your choice to lose a relationship over something so unimportant!!!

Topseyt · 12/02/2022 18:26

Please stop speaking in so many abbreviations. Acronyms well used on this site are one thing, but others are just baffling, although I think I have them now.

It sounds like it is a connection to a one night stand in which she got hurt but that is a risk that goes with the territory.

I don't think it precludes you from using the name. If you like it use it. Stop discussing it with her. If she decides to have a hissy fit and strop off then let her. The loss will be hers.

Fivebeanchilli · 12/02/2022 19:01

I think if she genuinely had been attacked I would just change the name or use a derivative (eg Jonny instead of Jonathan or Leon instead of Leo).
But it sounds as though she has form for being deceptive to get her own way so I don't think it's unreasonable to stick to your plan in that case.

CambsAlways · 12/02/2022 21:41

We would be giving our baby the name we had chosen,

Mum2jenny · 12/02/2022 21:47

Best advice I ever got was to discuss the naming of my children with no one until I’d registered the birth. My MIL was horrified with the name of our first born - old fashioned, not nice etc etc. We ignored her!!

NeesAndToes · 13/02/2022 09:44

Up to you. You're sending the message you don't believe her or if you do believe her you don't care so if you're fine with that use the name.

NeesAndToes · 13/02/2022 09:46

@Mum2jenny

Best advice I ever got was to discuss the naming of my children with no one until I’d registered the birth. My MIL was horrified with the name of our first born - old fashioned, not nice etc etc. We ignored her!!

Yep they should tell everyone this at their first checking in appointment! Everyone has an opinion otherwise.

NowEvenBetter · 13/02/2022 19:18

She already didn’t bother with your other kid for an entire year, so zero loss to anyone if she follows through with her latest threats.

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 14/02/2022 16:11

@NowEvenBetter actually she didn't see DC1 for 2 years in that time DC2 was born and she didn't meet him until he was one! She really does not care about them

OP posts:

Original poster

nameechangeeforthiis · 14/02/2022 16:14

@Mum2jenny if I could go back in time id have kept it to ourselves

OP posts:

Bonbon21 · 14/02/2022 16:18

You are the parents.
You choose your childrens names.
Her reaction is up to her.
And seriously.. how often are you going to open the door and shout
" Julius Antonius Carmichael Alexander Jones... yer tea is ready!!!" ???
Life is too short....