Lesbian parents trying to choose baby's surname

[Ooja]

Hi everyone,

My partner and I have begun the process of IVF with the hope of expanding our family. One important question has left us undecided so we thought we should bring it to the polls... Our children to be will need a surname... We think our surnames together are a bit of a mouthful... or are they? Our surnames are Denvir (pronounced Denver) and Rutherford... what do people think? which one is better (we've already decided neither of us will take offence) or do you think they work well together? We've thought about mixing them together, but we don't really like Denford or Ruthervir. All opinions welcome

I think Denver Rutherford sounds pretty cool! Denver could always be a middle name rather than two barrelled surname if you prefer?

Denvir Rutherford sounds good.

If you don't want to double barrel use Denvir as a middle name. It's what I did with DS1. He has my mums maiden name as a middle name.

You could use one surname as a second middle name? That's we did, and a few friends as well. So, first-name middle- name Denvir Rutherford. Or the other way round, but I think that way flows nicely. It avoids the clunkiness of a double-barrel but means you've both given your name to the baby, and for practical purposes it makes it clearer you're both related on passports etc.

I know a gay couple who changed both their names by deed poll to an entirely new name of their choosing. Could that be an option for you and the baby will then have the same name?

You could always mix them Denford /Forden. Although Denvir-Rutherford sounds quite cool

Agree with them ^ It sounds good that way round, it’s easier not to double barrel them and to use them as middle and last name and if there are any family members who feel put out you can always say you went with alphabetical order!

I think I’d double barrel. It can be a nuisance not sharing a surname with your child and this way you both will.

I think your names sound good together.

I also think Denvir-Rutherford sounds good!

Another vote for Denvir-Rutherford.

I’d double barrel it. No one bats an eyelid at the surname of athlete Katrina Johnson-Thompson, which I think is more of a mouthful.

Couldn't you all just have 1 surname?
Choose the one you like the best. You can add a family name from the other side as middle name?

My DS has my surname as his middle name but it rarely gets said it's still nice to see it on his passport etc.

Denvir-Rutherford sounds very distinguished! Another vote here for it.

My SILs double barrelled and changed their own names to match.

I really like Denvir Rutherford.

Give both, without a hyphen, they can use one for every day use.
Your children may have a genetic link to only one of you (assuming it isn’t to neither of you) so treating both sides equally becomes a little more important.
It’s also easier for travel.

@SirChenjins

Denvir-Rutherford sounds very distinguished! Another vote here for it.

I like this as well. Very nice.

I think that's a great surname !

I actually like Denver as a first name and Rutherford as a surname.

Denver Rutherford.

Apologies,

Denvir.

I prefer Rutherford, I like to association with the chemist of old

I'm never keen on double barrelling, just because it means the child can't double barrel. Can't claim this is entirely rational but that's my opinion

I vote Denvir-Rutherford too, fantastic surname. Best stick to a first name with only 1 or 2 syllables and it will roll off the tongue easily.

I think they sound great together.

But it's not primarily an aesthetic decision, surely, or not just? The baby should have both its mothers' surnames, just as DS has both DH and my surnames because we're both his parents. Our only conversation was about which order they sounded better in.

All the gay lesbian couples I know with children use both their surnames for them.

Another vote for use both! I'd double barrell, and agree it's a very, very cool surname.

I had a friend whose name was the surnames of his parents. One of the parent's surnames was a common boy's name, so that worked out well.

I think Rutherford is a very classy surname, given it's like Ernest Rutherford, the father of nuclear physics. So Denver can be your child's first name, boy or girl.

I like the idea of Denvir as a middle name.

My husband's parents did this to preserve a family surname.

If you double-barrel it, the poor child will have a miserable time ever time they have to fill out a form/write down their name.

Also I can pretty much guarantee that Denvir will be misspelled. It's a real pain when it happens.

If you double-barrel it, the poor child will have a miserable time ever time they have to fill out a form/write down their name.

Slightly hyperbolic there. "Miserable"

I think double barreling sounds perfectly fine.