Lesbian parents trying to choose baby's surname

[Ooja]

Hi everyone,

My partner and I have begun the process of IVF with the hope of expanding our family. One important question has left us undecided so we thought we should bring it to the polls... Our children to be will need a surname... We think our surnames together are a bit of a mouthful... or are they? Our surnames are Denvir (pronounced Denver) and Rutherford... what do people think? which one is better (we've already decided neither of us will take offence) or do you think they work well together? We've thought about mixing them together, but we don't really like Denford or Ruthervir. All opinions welcome

@formalineadeline

If you double-barrel it, the poor child will have a miserable time ever time they have to fill out a form/write down their name.

Slightly hyperbolic there. "Miserable"

I think double barreling sounds perfectly fine.

DS has a three syllable first name, and both our surnames, one two-syllable, and one three-syllable. It appears not to have wrecked his life, or his form-filling capacity.

@DaffodilDandilion

I think I’d double barrel. It can be a nuisance not sharing a surname with your child and this way you both will.

I think your names sound good together.

Not been an issue in any of the 11+ years DD has existed. (My surname is her middle name.)

I’d go Rutherford, simply because Denvir will invariably be misspelt. Denvir makes for a good middle name, though.

I’d double barrel, they go well together

Blimey, if little Johnny Denvir Rutherford can't cope with the 15 letters of his surname, the abc song is going to be a terrible shock.

Not been an issue in any of the 11+ years DD has existed. (My surname is her middle name.)

Well that’s good for you but equally it has been an issue for me when travelling as DC don’t have my surname. Maybe it’s easier if you’re still with the DC’s father.

Have travelled regularly and extensively with her (long haul) without DH since she was 4 months old.

She has my surname as a middle name so maybe that absolves whatever horror occurs for others.

I think both your surnames double barrelled together sounds like a lovely surname.

Oh I quite like them together. Personally I wouldn’t use a hyphen.

I also know a couple who came up with a new name entirely. I love that!

I like Denvir-Rutherford

I’m going to take myself off this thread as some people obviously can’t help being rude

Rutherden
Forden
Dorenvir

Denvir Rutherford sounds good, quite posh! My younger child has a stupid mouthful of a surname as I wanted both surnames... perhaps he will choose the one that he prefers when he's older.

Denvir-Rutherford sounds very distinguished. I like it!

If you pick one over the other then I would go for Rutherford as Denvir will be mispronounced and misspelled (my surname has this issue, coupled with an unusual first name and I get letters to a name which bears little resemblance to my actual name).

I'd just double barrel it, I grew up with a long double barrel name and it wasn't an issue

I like Denvir Rutherford, another vote for both

I love Denvir- Rutherford!

Denford

@PartyPlan

I know a gay couple who changed both their names by deed poll to an entirely new name of their choosing. Could that be an option for you and the baby will then have the same name?

We did this too.

Are you planning to change your own surnames to match the baby's OP?

@JenniferWildlay

I had a friend whose name was the surnames of his parents. One of the parent's surnames was a common boy's name, so that worked out well.

I think Rutherford is a very classy surname, given it's like Ernest Rutherford, the father of nuclear physics. So Denver can be your child's first name, boy or girl.

I don't think using your own surname as a first name is a good idea. My dc1 was (names changed) maggie gillespie father's surname and she has changed her surname to mine so now maggie kinsella. If id called her kinsella she'd be stuck with her father's surname unless she wanted to be kinsella kinsella.

My baby has an even weirder double barrel. It was the only thing that seemed fair (we’re married but both second timers and no way was I changing my surname ever again).

Baby also has a very grand first name and two middles. No shits given here, I just hope he can spell early

I'd portmanteau rather than double-barrel personally and then all use the same.
Denford is great.
But I think that Denvir-Rutherford is totally fine.

I don’t want to offend anyone, just an opinion, but I think double barrelled surnames are not a great solution. What happens when they get married to another doubler? And they are soooo long! And I would not share the view that posh and distinguished is the look I am going for - but of course each to their own. In your situation I think I’d prefer the brand new name of both your choosing. Or both names are fine - maybe pick first name and see which fits, if you don’t mind?

Denver-Rutherford is a great surname!