At what point is it actually cruel to give your child an old woman/ man name

[Amandalockwood1007]

A lot of names are coming back from the 20s/30s and some of them are okay for 2022 like Alice, Elsie. But certain names sound so terrible to saddle a child with in this generation for example Edith, mary, iris, Maude etc. I just can’t help but feel awful for the children who will probably be bullied for having “old people names” when does it become mean to give a child a name with an time stamp on it from the 1800s🙄

WALTER and Winifred.
I know both

Complete tangent, but this thread has had me in tears.

My daughter has an "old fashioned" name,it was my Granny's. I was reflecting on this, and remembered that I ever had a second daughter (I dont) she was to be named after my Granny's best friend, who I remember as a kind soul who died when I was three.

And then I couldn't remember the name.

I could see her, visualise her living room, and the stairs leading to her flat, her cookoo clock and her pendant, but I couldnt remember her name. And then I had the sudden realisation, that there was no one at all that I could have asked what her name was.

And then I remembered, it was "Ethel". I still kindof miss her in a weird way. Such a beautiful but old fashioned name.

It’s funny, when I look at the list of popular names for the year my mum was born, most have gone out of fashion, but you’d see boys with any of the names on boys today. Why don’t boys names go out of fashion so much but girls names do?

Names that are horrible and ‘old’to you are not to others

Just as names you like are horrible to others

Children will only bully if they hear people like you saying Maude name is that of an old lady, if no one says anyth8ng the name is simply accepted

I know
Agatha
Vincent (vinnie)
Walter
Reginald (reggie)
Raymond (Ray ray)
Victoria
Winifred
And I have a Bernadette.
Clearly they're coming back into fashion because people like those names.

Old lady names to the babies being born with these names will be Carol, Julie, Alison etc as they will be the grandparents of this generation.

@LiterallyKnowsBest

Maud - without the ‘e’ - is one of my favourite English girl’s names. Wonderfully poetic. And Mary, Iris, Edith all bring to mind fabulously stylish, thoroughly 21st century women.

But it’s a big old world - can’t imagine how you’d cope with my totally un-English name, OP. I was certainly never bullied because of it.

My dog is called Maud, also a fan of the name!

I work in a nursery and I love it when a group of kids are playing and you realise that it's ...
Nora , Norma, Ida,Elsie and Sidney .
It's sweet and the names suit them.

@jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey I love this too! I don’t work in a nursery but my youngests friendship group is Stanley, Arthur & Ada. I love it!

What sort of modern name do you prefer OP? Names are very personal. One person's old fashioned is another's classic. Personally I find the ubiquity of Olivers, Harrisons, Olivias, Avas and Evies really off-putting and would never chose them. My own children tend towards the more 'old-fashioned/unusual end of the spectrum...I'm sure some people hate the names we selected. I'm not sure either end of the spectrum would cause bullying...?

I have a 3yo Iris. I had no idea I would be perceived as being ‘cruel’ to ‘saddle’ my daughter with the name! I’ve had nothing but compliments on it. She is also at nursery with an Agnes, Dorothea, Margot and Reggie!

In honesty, Alice is a name I absolutely despise. I think it is so wet and weak sounding. And Elsie is worse imo that any of the ‘awful’ names you’ve mentioned. Apart from perhaps Maude.

To be honest I think it’s massively twatty of you to use ‘old people’ as a pejorative.

Age is a privilege that a fair number of us won’t get. There’s nothing wrong with old.

I work in a primary school. I NEVER hear children teasing each other about their names. There is such a huge variety that nothing seems odd to them now.

YABU, they are only peoples names to you. I’m 55 and my grandparents were called Hannah and George, when my DS was born in 1994 Hannah and George were hugely popular but they had been missing for at least two generations

I get you OP. It's a generational thing as much as anything. Most of today's new parents won't have known anyone in their hinterland with those names so won't have the associations older people have.

A lot of the so-called old lady/ man names used to be early 20th century working class names. But they have lost that link now and have a different cachet.
Doesn't mean you have to like them.

@CoffeeChocolateWine

I have a 3yo Iris. I had no idea I would be perceived as being ‘cruel’ to ‘saddle’ my daughter with the name! I’ve had nothing but compliments on it. She is also at nursery with an Agnes, Dorothea, Margot and Reggie!

In honesty, Alice is a name I absolutely despise. I think it is so wet and weak sounding. And Elsie is worse imo that any of the ‘awful’ names you’ve mentioned. Apart from perhaps Maude.

My Aunty Alice was a strong and fearless woman, she nursed my grandad through TB before we had the NHS. She went into service at the age of 13 at the local stately home and worked hard till retirement, bringing her children up after her husband died in the war. Till she died in 1983 she still refused to use a washing machine and used her dolly tub and mangle to wash her clothes. Old fashioned and traditional she may have been. But wet and weak sounding, she certainly wasn't.

It seems it is OK for you to get uppity about some insulting your daughters name, which I think is beautiful. But you have zero problem insulting other peoples names so horribly!

But they aren’t old people’s name if lots of children are called that. Old people’s name to this gen alpha is Steve, Nigel, Paul, Sarah, Claire, Karen. Not Edith, Elsie, Arthur.

I am saddled with a hideously,old fashioned name but not one of the pretty ones,it just sounds fairly harsh to me. Normally given to girls born in the thirties and forties, however I was born in the 1970's.
I have never met anybody my age or younger called it. My nickname was based on a tv presenter with the same name, she is in her 80's now.
I actually envied my friends called Donna,Sharon and Tracey and I still do now really.

I felt Edith was an old name. Having never met a young one.
I met a lovely 6 year old Edith recently.
I now think all little girls should be called Edith and be as nice as she was!
J guess it's a grand parents thing?
People are choosing names that their grandparents have/had.
But not so much names their parents have?
But if everyone had the same name, the world would be boring and confusing at the same time!

@Cailleachian

Complete tangent, but this thread has had me in tears.

My daughter has an "old fashioned" name,it was my Granny's. I was reflecting on this, and remembered that I ever had a second daughter (I dont) she was to be named after my Granny's best friend, who I remember as a kind soul who died when I was three.

And then I couldn't remember the name.

I could see her, visualise her living room, and the stairs leading to her flat, her cookoo clock and her pendant, but I couldnt remember her name. And then I had the sudden realisation, that there was no one at all that I could have asked what her name was.

And then I remembered, it was "Ethel". I still kindof miss her in a weird way. Such a beautiful but old fashioned name.

Ethel was my headmistress. She probably wasn't that old but looked ancient itms

You have listed some lovely names OP.

Why in earth would children of this generation be bullied? Their peers probably won’t know of anyone of the former heyday if these names.

I know a young 20-something Maud, she is SO cool.

I think Shirley, Tracy or Barry would be cruel.

I love old names including Maude - but heard a little Gertrude last month and thought WTF. So I think that's my line!

To me, George, Jack, Alfie, Lily, Evelyn, May and names of a similar vintage, are the old person names. They are the names if my grandparents generation and even older, so would never have been names I would have used for my dcs. I agree with those who say names go in cycles. There will always be 'unusual' or made up names and some will become fairly mainstream - Wendy, I believe, was made up by JM Barrie, whilst others will fall out of favour quite quickly.