At what point is it actually cruel to give your child an old woman/ man name

[Amandalockwood1007]

A lot of names are coming back from the 20s/30s and some of them are okay for 2022 like Alice, Elsie. But certain names sound so terrible to saddle a child with in this generation for example Edith, mary, iris, Maude etc. I just can’t help but feel awful for the children who will probably be bullied for having “old people names” when does it become mean to give a child a name with an time stamp on it from the 1800s🙄

I was given an old lady name in the 1970s.

I was named after my grandmother who was born at the turn of last century.

My parents really deliberated about it. They have me a simple middle name (my other grandmother’s name, but much less ‘out there’ in the 70s), on the basis that if I hated my given name that much, I could always opt for my middle name.

Just after I was born, as my Dad later told me, the obituaries starting filling up with old ladies with my name, dying.

They really worried that they’d made a terrible mistake ‘saddling’ me with this name.

I never met another soul with my name. I did get teased for it quite a lot - but very noticeably by adults, not other kids. I was never, ever able to buy plastic tat with my name on it, because nobody else was called it!

25 years later, and you couldn’t move for babies being given my name, and it’s several variations. It became so popular as to be over-used, and in another generation it will sound ‘dated’, and in another couple of generations, it will be an ‘old lady’ name again. I’m not going to say what my name is, but think ‘necessary on the bike’ (what I got asked by pretty much every adult I was introduced to, growing up 🙄).

The point is, most names are cyclical, going in and out of fashion.

I must admit, while I didn’t like my name growing up, I grew to love it. And I really like having a name that’s current as an adult (as opposed to being one of many of my generation’s Jennifers, Nicoles, Sarahs, Karens, Michelles, etc, etc - no offence to owners of those names, they’re nice, just plentiful!).

This is a long-winded way of saying - don’t worry too much about it, OP.

Because they're lovely names. It's personal taste isn't it. I really dislike made up modern names or alternative spelling of classic names and wonder why people would burden a child with them. Each to their own.

@LittleMouseOnTheFairy

I think Shirley, Tracy or Barry would be cruel.

I have a 9yo Shirley who loves her name..

I’ll just have to ruin her life another way

@Amandalockwood1007 at what point is it cruel to give your kid a stupid name to be "modern" like storm, star etc etc

Those names aren't ppl people names anymore though, because that generation has mostly died. Old people names
(I.e in their 80s) are more like Margaret, Rosemary and Joan now. Shortly to be moving into Susan, Jackie and the dreaded Karen!

@freelions

Name use goes in cycle so any name will always be labelled as an 'old lady/old man' name when it first returns to use after a few decades of being unfashionable

Charlotte and Emily were thought terribly old fashioned when they first returned in the 70s/80s but are now viewed as young people names again

There are only a few which I would class as cruel such as Fanny

Funnily enough fanny is a popular name in the south of france. I still can’t help but smirk when I hear it.

My niece is Iris. It's a beautiful name, from a lovely flower and slightly trendy at the moment too. I think it would be crueller to call her Sarah / Anna / Jane ( yaaaaaaawwwwn)

Most of the old lady names mentioned here seem pretty OK to me - but I just cringe at some of the names being bandied about on MN. Poor kids to be saddled for life with their parents dreadful attempts at being trendy.

I always think of Johnny Cash...
"But the meanest thing that my daddy ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue"

Some old lady names have come back like Iris, Lily, Edith etc

Others haven’t (Barbara, Sandra, Janet spring to mind)

Some names sound nice & others don’t, regardless of how trendy/old they are

I personally cringe when people give boys ‘fancy’ names like Etienne, Felix, Cosmo etc

These things go in cycles. I have a name which I would have considered an old lady name when I was a child. I hated it. But now it’s en vogue and I know a few small (under 5) children who have been christened with my first name.

I would much rather have an "old woman/man name" than some ridiculous made up modern name with a stupid spelling that I would have to spend my whole life telling people how to pronounce!

Get over yourself OP. Just because you don't like those names doesn't make it "cruel" to give them to a child.

I feel sorry for the kids with really dull popular names. Sooo many of them - had that myself and didn’t want for my dc

Alice never went away, did it? There were a couple of Alices in my year at school (90s).

Personally, I think it's better to give them a classic name that's been around for a while than some of the new ones I hear. I don't think any name is cruel though - when you get to know people you don't really 'see' their name. It just becomes them.

@Itsnotdeep

Edith, Iris and Maude are lovely names.

It's so subjective. I wouldn't want to "saddle" my dd with a name like Sophie that's ubiquitous and insipid (to my ear anyway) or an American name like Taylor. Luckily we're all different.

I have a DD called Sophie :( But I know its just personal taste) She is 26 though so not a newborn :)

@RussiasGreatestLoveMachine

I was given an old lady name in the 1970s.

I was named after my grandmother who was born at the turn of last century.

My parents really deliberated about it. They have me a simple middle name (my other grandmother’s name, but much less ‘out there’ in the 70s), on the basis that if I hated my given name that much, I could always opt for my middle name.

Just after I was born, as my Dad later told me, the obituaries starting filling up with old ladies with my name, dying.

They really worried that they’d made a terrible mistake ‘saddling’ me with this name.

I never met another soul with my name. I did get teased for it quite a lot - but very noticeably by adults, not other kids. I was never, ever able to buy plastic tat with my name on it, because nobody else was called it!

25 years later, and you couldn’t move for babies being given my name, and it’s several variations. It became so popular as to be over-used, and in another generation it will sound ‘dated’, and in another couple of generations, it will be an ‘old lady’ name again. I’m not going to say what my name is, but think ‘necessary on the bike’ (what I got asked by pretty much every adult I was introduced to, growing up 🙄).

The point is, most names are cyclical, going in and out of fashion.

I must admit, while I didn’t like my name growing up, I grew to love it. And I really like having a name that’s current as an adult (as opposed to being one of many of my generation’s Jennifers, Nicoles, Sarahs, Karens, Michelles, etc, etc - no offence to owners of those names, they’re nice, just plentiful!).

This is a long-winded way of saying - don’t worry too much about it, OP.

Isabel?

I'm sure I knew of someone with this name in the 70s

I like Gertrude. And Susan/Susannah, Joan/Jean, etc. And Mary, and Maude.
I can't get to like Fox, Bear, Wolf etc very much ( because of what on earth must have their parents in urban/suburban/safe countryside been thinking??). But I would never dream of letting my views influence my behaviour towards children with these names. Nor would may others, including young people, to whom even the most unusual name would probably not raise an eyebrow today.

I once knew a 13 year old Muriel, which is a name I’d always associated with old ladies. She wasn’t a big fan of her name.

I don’t think it’s cruel to give old fashioned names to kids (and a lot of them are back in style now) but it can be odd initially to meet a little one with a name that you associate with your granny.

Nothing is as cruel as the “Chardonnay” fashion a few years back 😂

Any baby Caroline's

another popular 60s/70s name

OP you are really out of touch!

In my daughters primary there is an Alice, Edith, Elsie, Iris plus Ivy, Sidney, Lennie, several Stanley’s and even an Olive! Old man/lady names have grown in popularity in recent years and are not unusual anymore.

Its all to do with association and the new baby will take over from the old association so all fine. For example a friend has called their baby Hudson, which at first made me wonder if he would be made fun of, but it was only my association of the name as being an elderly butler in Upstairs downstairs, another friend called their baby Martha. which in my mind was an old lady with a blue rinse, but little Martha has become the name now and the old image has been replaced (love that name by the way)

My DD was called Sophie after her great great great grandma (although Sophia rather than Sophie) My DM said she hated the name as it sound twee and weak, but my DD is a strong, intelligent young woman so now the association with that name has changed.

Forgive me for this but there is one name I do find makes me chuckle and I dont know why but it is the name Colin. If a friend told me their DS was called Colin I would respect their decision but find it a little odd for a baby

I think Gladys might be a step too far.

The OP has little knowledge of history if she thinks those are 1800 names; they were all common during my lifetime.

The good news is that other youngsters with no knowledge of history won;t associate those names by the right dates either so nobody's going to be told they've got an old person name.

I think they are lovely names.

David Mitchell /Victoria Coren Mitchell's little girl is called Barbara