Baby surname wobble

[NatMoz]

I'm 35 weeks pregnant, married but never changed my surname.

My name is Eastern European. Let's say it's Dobrowskyj, my husband is British, let's say he's Smith.

We don't know the sex of the baby but the girl name we like is not stereotypically English.

We were going to call baby if girl

Yelena Sophia Dobrowskyj (second middle name) Smith

I suppose day to day she would be Yelena Smith but I'm now wondering if it would be better if she was Yelena Dobrowskyj-Smith.

We won't be making up a random surname for the baby (or us) before it's suggested. I am not changing to husband's surname either, I've been married 4 years already and have no plans to.

I don't know if in my situation double barrel would be odd as we're not partners but married

Double barrelled would make sense and is very common among married couples.

The first way - first name, middle name, your surname, second middle name, surname, is very odd!

Agree with above. If double-barrelled both your surname and her father’s are her actual surnames. Otherwise sticking in that extra middle name implies your surname would be just another middle name.

Double barreled would work nicely, particularly if the dad's name is actually akin to Smith. Smith double-barrels well.

I had exactly the same situation.

I have the more interesting surname- originally I was going to let it be a middle name but I am really glad I changed my mind and it is now part of my son's surname.

As a second middle name it will never be used- it will be forgotten and lost

I would give the baby your surname. The time has come for women to give their children their surname: you are the one who carry the baby for 9 months, gives birth, possibly nurse the child for months. This is done in Scandinavia now more and more, which is so nice.

Also, my daughter has my surname partly because my husband preferred that our baby would have a more unique and interesting surname. Mine is Nordic and his is very common English last name. So in your case I would also say that your last name is probably used by less people in the world and reflects your child's heritage beautifully. But double-barrow last name is also a good idea!

Barreled not barrow! Autocorrect

I’d agree- why not just your name? I’m married and baby is having just my last name as the more unique and better sounding of the two

Otherwise double barrel is just fine!

I have a double barrelled surname, personally I wouldn't burden my kids with one. I have my bond from carrying them. Having their fathers surname is their first bond to him.

Don’t know what to advise on the surname but Yelena Sophia is beautiful x

Either double barrelled or your name

Double barrelled!
Incorporating it as a middle name loses it completely.

Either your name – babies traditionally take their mother’s surname – or double-barrelled.

Also, I know these aren’t the real names but why give your baby the drab blah of “Smith” when they could have “Dobrowskyj”! I have a forrin surname no one can spell or pronounce and it makes my name stand out, I love it.

I'd go for the double barrelled surname. It represents you both equally. I did and am so pleased I stuck to that decision. I remember worrying the names didn't go as ours also contains a foreign name but now I love it, I just needed to get used to it.

I'm in your situation and we went for a double barrel without the hyphen. So she has both of our surnames for "official" purposes like school, passport, doctors, etc, but the freedom to only use one socially if she wants to later in life. We both have quite unique names (and yes I really do mean unique, in the UK at least) so it is a bit of a mouthful and I understand she might not want a double helping of that in all situations.

Oh, and I think a few people misinterpreted the OP's post - she's not using her name then a second middle, but her name would BE the second middle, in her example.

I think double barrelled surnames are silly. What happens in the next generation? James Smith-Jones-Brown-Johnson? And the one after that? Just choose a surname and don’t over complicate things.

Double barrel your surnames that seems the fair option imo op.

I'd go for double barrel. I used to think they were clunky but you get used to them and they no longer seem that way.

As for what you do with the next generation if you have a double barrel name then that's up to the next generation.
In Spain it's tradition to have two surnames and your child just takes one surname from each parent - granted it's patriarchal with the father's surname coming before the mother's and that being the one passed on to the child, so maybe not the best example.

I am in exactly this situation although my name is just an unusual British one - it's phonetic but people seem to really struggle with spelling and pronouncing it. We are married but I've kept my name as it's part of who I am. The two together are a right mouthful so I've given baby my name as a second middle name. I don't think my husband wouldnt have minded baby having my name, ive just arranged it so baby what I consider to be the nicest and easiest version of the name. Double barelled names are a faff and in my experience a lot of people drop one of them anyway as they get older. It's very common though so noone would bat an eyelid, it's just personal preference.

I'd go double barrelled.

Double barrelled.

Either is totally fine and common (as in not unusual). We've done it the other way around (husband's surname as 2nd middle name) as we're not keen on double barrel names, so that's another option as well.

Double barrel all the way.

FWIW my surname is a double barrel with smith. I changed my name on marriage and my husband is the 4th generation with his surname. Sometimes people do assume we're not married and that one of the names was mine. It's easy to correct them.

@Derbee

I think double barrelled surnames are silly. What happens in the next generation? James Smith-Jones-Brown-Johnson? And the one after that? Just choose a surname and don’t over complicate things.

They keep their name like everyone else ...

Husband is 4th generation of his double barrel and our kids are generation 5... no issues so far.

I think some people confuse double-barrelling (with a hyphen) and using both surnames. DS has both our surnames (no hyphen) and uses both (as is increasingly common -- I reckon a good one third of his school class have both (married) parents surnames).

Nothing in the least unusual about using both surnames if parents are married -- I think it's a long time since it indicated unmarried parents, and I only ever see the occasional comment about that on here (usually from some bosom-hoiking type with socially conservative views) about it indicating 'skanky' unmarried partnerships.

I would give both names with no hyphen in your shoes, and would go in the order Yelena Dobrowskyj Smith.

@Derbee

I think double barrelled surnames are silly. What happens in the next generation? James Smith-Jones-Brown-Johnson? And the one after that? Just choose a surname and don’t over complicate things.

What an original and thought-provoking comment.