Would this be really insensitive?

[Giraffedance]

I'm currently pregnant with our first baby, a little girl, and my DH really loves the name Cerys. I really like the name too, but a friend of mine lost a baby quite late on in pregnancy a few years ago, I believe, and named her Carys and so I'm worried it would just be a bit insensitive. I know it's not identical, but they're variations of the same name and have the same meaning. It's a Welsh name - I'm mostly English but with Welsh heritage, and we live in south east England, where both names are fairly unusual. I've known this girl for a couple of years - we're not close friends, but before covid we used to see each other most weeks, in the company of mutual friends. I like her and don't want to upset her, but I also don't really feel like I know her well enough to broach it with her. What do you guys think?

I overthink this stuff. I guess if you do it I'd expect her to drop her friendship with you. Depends how bothered you are I guess.

You sound like a lively thoughtful friend, but personally I wouldn't. Even if you ask her she may not want to say no but I just think it would be incredibly painful, especially as it isn't a terribly common name.

Lively=lovely, sorry

Thousands of other names op... Keep the friend...

Would you find it insensitive if the roles were revered?

Tough one. I probably wouldn't name my baby it to be honest. Maybe even a middle name?

Hope you get it all sorted.

Pick another name op I find it insensitive massively

I think you could use the name if you like but you may lose the friendship because of it.

Yes it's very insensitive!

It's a no-go. Pick another name.

I think it would be very insensitive.

Thanks for your comments everyone. I wondered whether it might be ok as they are different names, but they are very similar and unusual, so yes, probably a no-go. We have other options, and perhaps we can use it as a middle name.

Too similar. Pick another name.

No i could not name my child after a friends child who was born sleeping.

We have other options, and perhaps we can use it as a middle name

I couldn’t do this either.

Sorry, just no. I wouldn't use it as a middle name either.

I'm biased just because I also love the name Cerys (I have one and live in the SE)

I'd say, if you love it, go for it.

It's a hard situation, but if I was your friend, I think I'd be sad, but honoured that you'd chosen it too.

I’m sorry, as you both love the name and it is a very beautiful name, but it would be incredibly insensitive to do that, either as a first or middle name. It would just be adding to your friends pain.

You sound like a very thoughtful friend.. But personally, yes I think I would find it quite insensitive. She may not want to be reminded of it either if you broach the subject. I'd say on this occasion maybe choose a different name.

V insensitive

Yes, of course it would. Did you really need other people to confirm that for you?

I definitely wouldn’t. If any of my friends used my late daughter’s name I would be heartbroken.

a friend of mine lost a baby quite late on in pregnancy a few years ago, I believe, and named her Carys

The "I believe.." bit in there made me wonder. Did you not know her then? She doesn't sound like a close friend if you're really not sure on the details.

I seem to be on the minority but I don't see the problem here. Take my name. There's Sara and there's Sarah. I think of them as two different names. Same with Carys and Cerys.

If this was a close family thing, say this was your sister, then I'd say don't. But otherwise I really don't think that lost babies names (and similar names) have to be forever off limits to anyone who knows the parents

I overthink this stuff too. Do they get pronounced the same way I’m not sure? Personally if it was me and the friend was a very close friend then If I chose the name I’d be preparing to lose a friend . I wouldn’t get over something like that if it happened to me. Maybe a middle name .

As someone that has lost a child I actually don't find it upsetting or insensitive. That's not to say others wouldn't but I like to hear her name on other children (and it is fairly unusual)

It's a hard situation, but if I was your friend, I think I'd be sad, but honoured that you'd chosen it too.
You'd feel honoured?? How utterly bizarre. I guarantee that's a very niche viewpoint.