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Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

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Original poster

Using DS1 middle name for new baby

63 replies

DollyParton2 · 30/01/2021 23:39

Hi all
I’m due with a little boy in a few weeks. We had 2 names I’ve been going back and forwards with the whole pregnancy but not in love with either/ keep going off them. Suddenly saw DS middle name in print and it reminded me how much I love it!
It’s non sentimental/ family connection we just liked the name.
Would you bat an eyelid if you knew a friend had used 1 of their DCs middle names for a future sibling?
I personally don’t get the emphasis or importance of middle names, it’s lovely if there is a family connection etc but I usually barely remember or think about them. Neither me or DH think it’s an issue at all but agree we love this name.
Interested in thoughts, thanks!

OP posts:

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BlueTimes · 30/01/2021 23:44

As long as your DS doesn’t go by his middle name, I think it’s fine. I’d think you were a little unimaginative but that’s the worst. At least it sounds like it’s a name you won’t regret since you love it so much.

PeigiSu · 30/01/2021 23:44

Kate and William did it. Prince George has Louis as a middle name.

I thought it was odd when they did but not notably or awfully so.

My personal preference would be for each child to have their own names but I don’t think it’s an absolute don’t do it situation.

CheshireCats · 30/01/2021 23:44

I wouldn't. Dc2 will no doubt tell you, you couldn't even think of my own name for me, just gave me DC1's second choice name....
Give him his own name.

daisypond · 30/01/2021 23:44

I wouldn’t. Give your new child his own name. Otherwise it’s like you can’t be bothered to think of a name for him. Hardly a great start in life.

BeanieB2020 · 30/01/2021 23:45

I wouldn't. Give him his own name. What if your older son wants to go by his middle name in future, and you end up with two kids with the same name!

purplejungle · 30/01/2021 23:48

This happened with my bils. Kind of a quirky thing but no real issues. They are adults now.

Synchrony · 30/01/2021 23:51

Wouldn't bother me at all. In fact, I've wondered myself about the acceptability of doing this because I'm torn between using my second favourite name as DC1's middle name when it's born, or saving it for a future child. I don't really want to save it in case I have no more children of that sex though!

smoothchange · 30/01/2021 23:51

Would you bat an eyelid if you knew a friend had used 1 of their DCs middle names for a future sibling?

I wouldn't. Your child may think you couldn't be arsed though.

Iknewyouwerewaitingforme · 30/01/2021 23:59

It’s totally fine. Always amazed at Mumsnet compared to the general population for having opinions on things people in reality don’t give 2 hoots about! I don’t think it sounds like you can’t be bothered at all, the opposite in that you’ve thought about other names, none sit or feel right so have gone back to a name you both love. It’s a lovely connection between 2 brothers.

If my mum had explained she’d loved my sisters middle name so much that’s why I’d been called it I think I’d find that lovely - not awful. Do it!

Walkerbean16 · 31/01/2021 00:21

my dd2 has dd1s middle name as her first name, we just loved the name so much. nobody has even mentioned it.

Floralnomad · 31/01/2021 00:21

Are you going to go the whole hog and give the second child the first childs first name as a middle name ? All the names in the world and you can only think of 2 that you like enough to use , seriously .

IamnotwhouthinkIam · 31/01/2021 00:37

If there's not another name you can agree on, I think it's fine to re-use it as most people won't know your first sons middle name (this part of the reason why I personally see middle names as a way to honour family members or friends, rather than adding extra names a parents likes - as finding a second name you like as much can be hard). But as pp mention, maybe to be fair you should use DS1's first name as DS2's middle name

Sprintfinish · 31/01/2021 00:44

I wanted to do this, and cursed ourselves for using one of our favourite choices for DC1s middle name. Although at that point after a difficult birth I was adamant there would be no more children...

Ultimately chose another name for DC2 as imagined it could create sibling rivalry issues at some stage.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 31/01/2021 00:51

I grew up with sisters whose mum had done this. It was such a non issue that I was in my 30s when I realised

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 09:08

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

I grew up with sisters whose mum had done this. It was such a non issue that I was in my 30s when I realised

It may have been a non issue for you, while still being an issue for them. The second sister in particular.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 31/01/2021 09:10

Nope. It wasn't an issue for them either. Hence they never mentioned it growing up. And I've asked since I found out. They actually quite like it.

Edenember · 31/01/2021 09:12

I would avoid personally. I don’t consider it an absolute don’t do though.

Iamstrugglingtopick · 31/01/2021 09:25

I would do this! My husband picked DS1 name as he vetoed the name I loved as a first name, DS1 ended up with the name I wanted as a middle name and if I ever have another son I would definitely be using the name.
Pick the name you love

smoothchange · 31/01/2021 09:30

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

Nope. It wasn't an issue for them either. Hence they never mentioned it growing up. And I've asked since I found out. They actually quite like it.

Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't tell you either. I'm almost 100% certain it would be something that bothered me though.

intheshallows · 31/01/2021 09:35

I wouldn't! Just doesn't sit right with me for some reason!

This is why I don't understand parents who give their child a middle name 'just because'. I only see the purpose of a middle name if it's a family name/paying tribute to someone. Just my line of thinking though!

I started a thread a little while ago asking for helping picking out my new baby's name from a choice of two favourites- it surprised me how many people were suggesting using one as the middle name! Why? We so rarely use/hear middle names in every day life- why waste a favourite one leaving it unusable for potential future DC?

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 31/01/2021 09:46

Honestly, if it were me, I wouldn't tell you either. I'm almost 100% certain it would be something that bothered me though.

Fair enough. But being as close as we were growing up I have no doubts that they would have told me if it were an issue.

Original poster

DollyParton2 · 31/01/2021 09:49

Thanks for comments. Still genuinely amazed at the feeling and passion that middle names can bring up! Very interesting.
Those saying it looks like I can’t be arsed/ am lazy etc it’s the opposite, really. I obsess over names. The 2 other boy names I’ve been deliberating over all pregnancy just don’t feel right. With DS1 and DD- even if this baby had been a girl I had chosen names that had both personal meaning to us as well as loving them and knowing I wouldn’t regret them. The 2 boy names I have just don’t feel right. They don’t fit well with their siblings, I feel we’d regret them. They’ve been pretty marmite on here too.
I don’t like top 20 names at ALL. I feel why label a child with such a bog standard, average heard everywhere name that has lost any appeal or individuality through being heard everywhere.
So that counts a lot out!
My feelings against doing this are far bigger than reusing DS middle name for our future child. So pretty sure we’re going to go for it. Really don’t see it as a big issue at all.
I’ve even looked into it- we could remove DS1 middle name by deed so it’s a non issue and add in my grandfathers name for him, and then my sadly passed uncles for DS2.

OP posts:

WellityWellityWellity · 31/01/2021 09:56

If it is a less common name, I definitely wouldn't use it! It does look lazy and even though I know that isn't why, it might be what your DS thinks; that they couldn't be arsed so gave me the same name as dc1, but a name they didn't even like enough to use as his first name! Yikes. No.

I'm not passionate about it. Couldn't care less. But, your DS might is all 🤷‍♀️. There are so many not top 20 names around. Honestly? Find another one, would be my opinion. Only since you asked. If a friend did it, I wouldn't mention it though of course.

Original poster

DollyParton2 · 31/01/2021 09:59

But we LOVE this name! It would mean picking a name we far less like to all use every day (as opposed to a middle name that just sits there hidden and dormant) for the rest of his and our lives! Just incase a few random people who happen to remember what DS1 middle name even was, seem to have bizarrely strong feelings about it.

OP posts:

Iknewyouwerewaitingforme · 31/01/2021 10:02

Mumsnet at it again! Like I’ve said so often, less of a cross section of society and opinions more just a select few ranting away with very strong/ random opinions about things the majority in reality definitely don’t agree with!
OP- please feel fine using the name! In the scheme of what’s going on in the world right now and what there IS to give a shit about/ have strong feelings on this is nothing!

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