Using DS1 middle name for new baby

[DollyParton2]

Hi all
I’m due with a little boy in a few weeks. We had 2 names I’ve been going back and forwards with the whole pregnancy but not in love with either/ keep going off them. Suddenly saw DS middle name in print and it reminded me how much I love it!
It’s non sentimental/ family connection we just liked the name.
Would you bat an eyelid if you knew a friend had used 1 of their DCs middle names for a future sibling?
I personally don’t get the emphasis or importance of middle names, it’s lovely if there is a family connection etc but I usually barely remember or think about them. Neither me or DH think it’s an issue at all but agree we love this name.
Interested in thoughts, thanks!

Well, that is true about MN. And I can only speak for myself when I say I don't feel strongly about it and would say "ah what a lovely name" irl. But since the op asked. No, I think it's not a very nice idea. But "your bubz your rulz"!

If you don't like mumsnet's occasionally brutal honesty, there is another place where you will get that^^ response

It is hard IMO to pick another name you love for a 2nd baby of the same sex ad your 1st but there will be a name.

My friend did it with her children as she really loved the 1st child middle name but I have to say I do think Its odd and like the 2nd child gets a 2nd favourite name not a 1st choice name.

I really wouldn’t change your existing sons name to use it, that is really weird and changing his identity now.

If you aren’t 100% sure on the 2 other names then just keep going until you find one you love

Doesn’t matter at all - go for it.

I’d probably assume it was a family name if I knew. But as middle names are rarely heard people won’t know.

You could lie* and say it's a family name! That does happen and works imo, as there is a reason you couldn't deviate from exactly that name.

*alright maybe not, but you know

I wouldn’t do it, you don’t know what their future relationship will be like. My H has his brother’s middle name and it did cause problems.

All children deserve their own name.

I would but I'f be tempted to use ds1's first name as ds2's middle name yo make it fair.

For example
Ds1. Albert Eric
Ds1. Eric Albert

@RuthW

I would but I'f be tempted to use ds1's first name as ds2's middle name yo make it fair.

For example
Ds1. Albert Eric
Ds1. Eric Albert

Yes, if you're going to do it, I'd do this, rather than changing your older son's name by deed poll!

Thanks all! I’ve just spoken to DS (8) and his eyes instantly lit up & cracked a massive smile that his brother would take his middle name “so we’d both have the same name” even more so when, as suggested I said we’d give DS2 his name as the middle name. Thanks for the suggestions and for those being positive. Still genuinely amazed at the strength of feeling around this.

@DollyParton2

Thanks all! I’ve just spoken to DS (8) and his eyes instantly lit up & cracked a massive smile that his brother would take his middle name “so we’d both have the same name” even more so when, as suggested I said we’d give DS2 his name as the middle name. Thanks for the suggestions and for those being positive. Still genuinely amazed at the strength of feeling around this.

Surely not?

You are not seriously going to call your children the same 2 names

smoothchange no. A “name” is the first name that all people who know you, call you by. Associate you with. When your asked on the phone for your details you give you first and surname. A middle name is rarely used, or referred to, is largely unknown or forgotten by most who know you and insignificant to practically everyone other than some people on Mumsnet who obsess over them.
Other than on your passport or birth certificate or applying for a bank account, a middle name has no significance in everyday life. So no, my children will not share the same names.

It’s not your first ds that will feel like you didn’t bother though , he will always feel that the new baby has been named after him , it’s the new one that may have an issue .

Wow- people on here are irritating. OP is a few weeks away from having a baby. She’s thanked people for opinions, told us she’s going ahead but taking up suggestions of possibly using DS name as DS2 middle name. Accept it! Stop attempting to ridicule and cast scorn (when it’s you who end up looking like anal pedantic weirdos) over something that is so so so unimportant. Just wish her well and move on.
And get a life

Just seen this thread. I can chip in- the same thing happened to my and my older sister. Our mum thought she couldn't have another baby so used the 2 girl names she most loved as DSis 1st and middle name. Along came I 6 years much to her shock... and without much of a thought, she named me DSis middle name. I love my name, and love the link I have with my sister (even though its as others say pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things).
Sorry to disappoint those who want to present OP as a terrible mother in doing this - but to me it showed extra thought as by giving Dis 2 of her most favourite names, then unexpectedly having me and calling me the middle name, showed how cherished and loved it was rather than grabbling around for any old other name she only half-loved and sticking that on me, not the opposite at all.

I don't think anyone tried to present the OP as a terrible mother . Wha absolutely ridiculous and inflammatory hyperbole!

It was what her second DS might think. You felt the opposite (hurrah), but not everyone will feel the same way. Do you see how that works? Not everyone is you.

Anyway, that all being said, of course now the op has said she's going for it, she probably doesn't need any more negative opinions! That is the law of baby names! Once it's decided, beaks out, (unless it's like Adolf or something terrible).

All the best op! It really isn't a big deal at all, and IRL I wouldn't say a thing about it to your face or otherwise.

So no, my children will not share the same names.

Your first child is X Y and you are going to call your second Y X

Of course they will share the same names

Sorry to disappoint those who want to present OP as a terrible mother in doing this

Literally not a single assed person has made a judgment on OP parenting.

Just a small word of warning. I once worked with a man whose parents had done exactly what you are proposing e.g. His brother was called Peter Matthew and his name was Matthew Peter.

He hated the his first name and would have liked to go by his middle name but couldn't because it was his brothers name.

Consequently he ended up changing his name entirely as he didn't want to remain Matthew but he had no other options. Had he had a different middle name he would have simply gone by that so it might be worth adding an extra name just incase.

smoothchange and WellityWellityWellity: daisypond said DS2 would think she "couldn't be arsed... hardly a great start in life". You'd think we were thinking about raising a chid in intense poverty, or not feeding/clothing or caring for them properly. Nope, it's because she'd like to give him a name she really loves and wants to take centre stage for him, currently only being used as a rarely ever heard middle name. This IS a judgement on her parenting. It's ludicrous!!!

Very worrying actually re. peoples standards of importance in caring for a child.

I never made a judgment about OP parenting so don't bother mixing my comment with someone else's to try and jump to that.

I said 'your child may think your couldn't be arsed though'

Nothing to do with their start in life

It’s sweet that your older boy would like to use his middle name. He sounds sensible enough for you to have conversation to check he is 100% sure. It could make the bond stronger. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy @DollyParton2

@sundowners

smoothchange and WellityWellityWellity: daisypond said DS2 would think she "couldn't be arsed... hardly a great start in life". You'd think we were thinking about raising a chid in intense poverty, or not feeding/clothing or caring for them properly. Nope, it's because she'd like to give him a name she really loves and wants to take centre stage for him, currently only being used as a rarely ever heard middle name. This IS a judgement on her parenting. It's ludicrous!!!

Very worrying actually re. peoples standards of importance in caring for a child.

Meh, "your ds would think" isn't "you are". And since it's only a name and not poverty or bad parenting, (as you say), then there is no need to be so ready to take the hump is there really? Which the op hasn't! She seems perfectly alright and is happily going ahead with it, so you maybe don't need to get too worked up about it

@Floralnomad

Are you going to go the whole hog and give the second child the first childs first name as a middle name ? All the names in the world and you can only think of 2 that you like enough to use , seriously .

There's a girl in DS's class whose family did just that!

DD1 called Alice Emma & DD2 called Emma Alice.

I'm sorry OP but it's just plain weird in my opinion.

I’ve also not questioned the OPs parenting just her lack of imagination .

My DHs mum did this. 3 sons in this order:

Jonathan David
Daniel Adam Kyle
David (no middle name)

Don't know why there's such inconsistency between their middle names or why the middle child missed the David train 😂

DD has just reminded me about her first boyfriend he was called William Harry & his brother was William Jack - they went by their middle names but apparently it was a family tradition that all boys were called William.