Snobbery to popular names

[Tblock]

Anyone get the feeling of a lot of snobbery when it comes to popular names ? I have seen it on here a lot. “Oh I don’t like Alifie, it’s far to popular and over done “ “ Ava way to popular and over used “ etc etc. Seen it a lot of times when people have wanted an opinion and specifically mention a popular name. I don’t feel anyone should feel like they can’t name a child a name they love, just because it’s a popular name and is a “trend” as such. I know it’s all opinions, but I get the impression people don’t like certain names, purely because they are popular and it’s the in thing to do in bashing popularity. If you want to name you’re child a name that will probably have another 6 of the same in his/her school then so be it. Nobody had an issue when we were in school and everyone was called jack , Sarah, Daniel, Rachel etc, why such snobbery these days ? Just something I have picked up a lot

I remember as an older teenager speaking to a small cousin who I'd called Emily-Em since she was born. She was now at school. She asked her mum why I was calling her by another girl's name - because now she'd started school she was Emily S and someone else was Emily M (and someone else Emily R). That put me off super popular names.

If your child is one of several in their class it doesn’t matter what you call them as they will just be called ‘surname’ instead. That’s the main issue with popular names I thought?!

I don't think that's snobbery - people often come on asking if X name is popular or not, so I think many posters just think popularity is worth mentioning, or are just expressing their opinion.

I think there is sometimes distaste for short forms and similarly new names or nouns used as names etc, which I think may be partly down to snobbery - but equally can just be about the appreciation of the history of names, or a genuine belief that certain names may not be helpful for children in later life, or that it's good for the child to have the choice of full or shortened name.

But this is a forum, so opinions and points of view are what it's about...

Lots of people saying that they hated being one of a thousand Catherines or whatever.

I actually didn't mind having a very popular first name. Always felt a sense of affinity with other kids of the same name, as though we were part of the same 'club'. Now that I'm older, I can appreciate the degree of anonymity my name can give me.

However, I have a very unusual surname which always attracts comments, so that may be a factor.

Also, I was always extremely thankful that my middle name wasn't Louise, since it seemed every girl born in the '70s or '80s with my first name invariably had 'Louise' as a middle name.

Therefore a popular first name might not matter so much with a more uncommon middle name or surname. If you have a common surname, perhaps something more unusual would balance it out.

I know, op, it's odd. When I was having ds3 and before we knew his sex, we were planning to use Sofia for a girl. So many people told me it was "too popular"... well duh, it's a beautiful name that works in many languages and cultures, that it is popular is hardly a surprise. My name was massively popular when I was little and it never caused me an issue. I find the desperation to be different interesting.

I think you need to look up what snobbery means.

I actually do think there is some snobbery on Baby names threads sometimes, but that isn't anything to do with posters pointing out to the person asking the question, that certain names are popular at the moment.
I had my dc before MN. Before we had the internet at our fingertips. Someone did give me a hand-me-down book of names, but I knew nothing about which names were popular. My ds has grown up with a name that - whereas I still love the name - means he has NEVER belonged to anything where he is the only one with his name. One Scout camp there were 11 young people on it, 3 were girls, and 4 of them were called ds's name. Currently he plays in a football team (formed of people that went to school together so they are almost all the same school year) and there are 3 of them with the same name in his team. He's never just been able to be 'his name', he's always needed to add his surname. In junior school there was a child with the same first name and surname in the year above him, and another in the year below him.
Believe me, if I'd known all this at the time, I'd have used a different name.
People might not be aware about name popularity, so people mentioning that to a poster who has asked for opinions about their name choice, seems helpful to me, not snobbery.

One positive with a popular name and common surname is stalkers find it harder.

@BackforGood

I think you need to look up what snobbery means.

I actually do think there is some snobbery on Baby names threads sometimes, but that isn't anything to do with posters pointing out to the person asking the question, that certain names are popular at the moment.
I had my dc before MN. Before we had the internet at our fingertips. Someone did give me a hand-me-down book of names, but I knew nothing about which names were popular. My ds has grown up with a name that - whereas I still love the name - means he has NEVER belonged to anything where he is the only one with his name. One Scout camp there were 11 young people on it, 3 were girls, and 4 of them were called ds's name. Currently he plays in a football team (formed of people that went to school together so they are almost all the same school year) and there are 3 of them with the same name in his team. He's never just been able to be 'his name', he's always needed to add his surname. In junior school there was a child with the same first name and surname in the year above him, and another in the year below him.
Believe me, if I'd known all this at the time, I'd have used a different name.
People might not be aware about name popularity, so people mentioning that to a poster who has asked for opinions about their name choice, seems helpful to me, not snobbery.

I know what snobbery means. I guess I find a few people turn their nose up when someone mentions a name that’s trendy at the moment. This is what I mean by snobbery. They are basically saying, why choose that when it’s so popular, how boring etc. This is what I mean by snobbery. Maybe there’s a better word to describe it? I’m not sure.

@unmarkedbythat

I know, op, it's odd. When I was having ds3 and before we knew his sex, we were planning to use Sofia for a girl. So many people told me it was "too popular"... well duh, it's a beautiful name that works in many languages and cultures, that it is popular is hardly a surprise. My name was massively popular when I was little and it never caused me an issue. I find the desperation to be different interesting.

Yeh I totally agree. I find the obsession to be unique for the sake of unique a bit strange. Don’t get me wrong, if you like a name and it’s very different then cool, but I have seen a few times on here a poster mention a name they like that seems to be pretty popular. They end up getting influenced by others to change it because people don’t approve as it’s to popular. It’s not something I would do because I couldn’t careless if people think the name I chose is to popular, but I just think if you really like that name, don’t be put off by the popularity. You don’t need to choose a unique name for the sake of it. I guess it’s just something I noticed on here a few times and it warranted a discussion :)

OP definitely needs to look up the term 'snob' in the dictionary. Sorry if this has been mentioned, haven't RTFT.

I dislike popular names because I am a name geek and I find them boring and unimaginitive.
I'm definitely not a 'snob'
Quite the opposite. I love the name Kai due to its Hawaiian meaning, also Kaia. Both names are sneered at by people who think they are down-market. Disliking a name because you think it is downmarket or inferior or belonging to 'chavs' is snobbery and that is rife on Mumsnet

I recently met a baby Coralie and a baby Karana and thought how lovely. They are gorgeous underused names.
Whenever I hear a baby Ava or Olivia or Oliver I just think yawn... But I don't judge the parents I just assume their taste is different to mine and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with those names.
It's the same for my age group with names like Sarah and Dave. Sarah is a nice name but sooo overused. I know about 20 Daves. I would want to avoid that for my DC.
I also have a boring popular 80s name and would rather have something more unusual and imaginative.

@Sausagedog1

OP definitely needs to look up the term 'snob' in the dictionary. Sorry if this has been mentioned, haven't RTFT.

I dislike popular names because I am a name geek and I find them boring and unimaginitive.
I'm definitely not a 'snob'
Quite the opposite. I love the name Kai due to its Hawaiian meaning, also Kaia. Both names are sneered at by people who think they are down-market. Disliking a name because you think it is downmarket or inferior or belonging to 'chavs' is snobbery and that is rife on Mumsnet

I recently met a baby Coralie and a baby Karana and thought how lovely. They are gorgeous underused names.
Whenever I hear a baby Ava or Olivia or Oliver I just think yawn... But I don't judge the parents I just assume their taste is different to mine and that's fine, there's nothing wrong with those names.
It's the same for my age group with names like Sarah and Dave. Sarah is a nice name but sooo overused. I know about 20 Daves. I would want to avoid that for my DC.
I also have a boring popular 80s name and would rather have something more unusual and imaginative.

But I didn’t say everyone who dislikes popular names are snobs did I ? What I said was, people turning their nose up and saying things like “I’m not sure why you would call your child a silly name like that and it’s controlling of the parents because the child can’t shorten it or use a nickname “

which by the way was said a few pages back by a poster in relation to a particular name. That for me is snobbery. Judging a parent for choosing a particular name.

Maybe I’m misjudging the word snobbery I don’t know.

I know what snobbery means... They are basically saying, why choose that when it’s so popular, how boring etc. This is what I mean by snobbery. Maybe there’s a better word to describe it? I’m not sure.
That's not snobbery. That's people thinking a name that's been used again and again is a but meh. Some of th are beautiful enough to get past that, some in SE people's opinion are too boring and interesting to hear again and again

I think you are slightly mis-using the word snobbery. Someone saying a name is silly is just their opinion.
I did, however, see the comment about it being controlling to use the name Alfie and thought that quite odd. I don't think I've ever heard that said on Mumsnet before. I must be controlling then because my DS has a name I can't shorten! As are all the parents of every one syllable name in existence
Lots of people do find names like Alfie, Archie Albie etc a bit nicknamey and insubstantial though. The baby names threads would be pretty boring if everyone liked every single name!

@SleepingStandingUp

I know what snobbery means... They are basically saying, why choose that when it’s so popular, how boring etc. This is what I mean by snobbery. Maybe there’s a better word to describe it? I’m not sure. That's not snobbery. That's people thinking a name that's been used again and again is a but meh. Some of th are beautiful enough to get past that, some in SE people's opinion are too boring and interesting to hear again and again

Ok, maybe a better way to describe my original post would be “negativity” on popular names ? I think that’s what I’m trying to get at. Apologise for having a go at you before, been a long day at work prior to it.

don’t be put off by the popularity. You don’t need to choose a unique name for the sake of it
Very very few people have a unique name. There's literally thousands of choices between top 10 popularity and making your own name up.

That for me is snobbery. Judging a parent for choosing a particular name. It's oy snobbery if they're assuming you are socially inferior. Thinking your a bit boring doesn't count

@Sausagedog1

I think you are slightly mis-using the word snobbery. Someone saying a name is silly is just their opinion. I did, however, see the comment about it being controlling to use the name Alfie and thought that quite odd. I don't think I've ever heard that said on Mumsnet before. I must be controlling then because my DS has a name I can't shorten! As are all the parents of every one syllable name in existence Lots of people do find names like Alfie, Archie Albie etc a bit nicknamey and insubstantial though. The baby names threads would be pretty boring if everyone liked every single name!

Yes, thats the bit that offended me and got my back. Up. The silly bit I wasn’t bothered, as it’s their opinion and mine. The controlling part for calling a baby a name was just strange for me. Anyway, all good in the hood ;)

What you are still missing is that people only post here if they are undecided and want input. People who don't care about popularity don't post here. If a person is put off a name because a stranger on the internet thinks it's too popular then they didn't really love it in the first place.

As an oldie I'm a bit meh about naming people shortened names. Alfie - short for Alfred, I think. People were called Alfred in the past and, imv, depending on their temperament had their names shortened, changed or not.
So James, was James at home, Jamie maybe, but this might be changed as they aged, and as I'm in Scotland Jimmy or Jim mostly. The diminutive was a sign that you knew the person well, or they were a friend. I think Jimmy was given to more fun people. Certainly the toffs were James always. So going straight for a diminutive seems an attempt to wish for your child a personality to suit the name, rather than how it was in the past when the name was changed by friends and acquaintances to match the personality.

@ZoyaTheDestroyer

What you are still missing is that people only post here if they are undecided and want input. People who don't care about popularity don't post here. If a person is put off a name because a stranger on the internet thinks it's too popular then they didn't really love it in the first place.

True, although I wasn’t actually talking about myself by the way. I couldn’t careless if people feel the name I have chosen is way to over popular. I was just expressing my opinion of the negativity I see on here, when someone posts a name that’s the trend. I have seen people be influenced by posters reactions on here. Maybe you are correct and they didn’t particularly like the name in the first place.

Ok, maybe a better way to describe my original post would be “negativity” on popular names ? I think that’s what I’m trying to get at bit that's the ENTIRE purpose of that boardm. For people to give positives and negatives. Some people will prefer Alfred, some will love Alfie, some will hate it. Same for Balthazar or Hdieicir or Like.

Personally I love Sophia but hate Sophie but that's cos of personal associations

Bit why is it ok to be negative and influence people's decisions about Balthazar but not Alfie?

@SleepingStandingUp

Bit why is it ok to be negative and influence people's decisions about Balthazar but not Alfie?

I didn’t say it was ok did I ? The whole point of the original post was to say I have noticed a lot of negativity more when someone posts up a popular name they want to call their child. Balthazar is an unusual name, so I highly doubt you would get the same reaction from various posters than you would posting a popular name up.

I didn’t say it was ok did I ? The whole point of the original post was to say I have noticed a lot of negativity more when someone posts up a popular name they want to call their child. Balthazar is an unusual name, so I highly doubt you would get the same reaction from various posters than you would posting a popular name up. You get a lot more personal comments than boring and too popular. Try hard, desperate to be special, I'm not sure it would fall under chavvy bit certainly comments about lower classes wanting special names so they feel more important.

I actually think "trying too hard" is a snobbery comment. "Gosh, the working classes / new middle classes, they're so TRY HARD, trying to make their average WC child who'll never be special appear special."

But instead you would get lots of responses along the lines of you can't do that to your child - poor kid, they will be bullied - change your own name to Balthazar and live with it if you like it so much.... etc.