I like one. DP likes another. 3rd is ok for both

[Pudding01]

George, Harry or Jack?

Addressing the surname bit first, could you double barrel if you get married? Especially if you actually just add the new surname on the back without adding a dash. So your current one becomes a final middle name? That way you share a surname with both kids. Your daughter may wish to add to hers too but doesn't need to. Your second child will still share a name with both parents and possibly their sibling.

All your first names are good names for a boy. Personal preference is George but I think Harry and Jack are both great and none of them are likely to date particularly badly. Anecdotally there are more Jacks around in reception/year one but more Harrys around in years 5/6/7. Not many Georges. But that's just where we are!

Other alternatives would be Oscar, Max, Edward, James or Luke.

@lostpasswordagain if I did have both surnames (I cringe keeping my ex's name, but my love for DD is more important) could I use one on forms, work etc? Or would I always be known as Smith Tealy in anything formal? I would do it if i could just be Tealy in every day life. Chances of getting ex to allow any other names to DD is slim, he's very, erm, alpha! (Narcissistic) Sooo complicated.

I think Jack is my least favourite of the 3 when I really think about it. It is a popular name in my family (being Irish) so they would like it, but for me it's a bit meh

Erin is a great name but your current 3 names (although all great names) don't really go with the Erin vibe.

I would expect Erin to have a brother named:
Jude
Toby
Max
Evan
Cole
Myles
Joel
Aiden
Caleb
Ezra

Chances of getting ex to allow any other names to DD is slim, he's very, erm, alpha! (Narcissistic) Sooo complicated.

If you applied for a court order, he would not get a choice.

You would be very very unlikely to get permission to CHANGE a surname - but adding yours to double-barrel = very likely to be approved, especially if your argument is that it would enable both siblings to share a surname link. This is the way you explain it to him too, if you wish to bother to be diplomatic. Not about you, about both siblings. He won't like it, but he's unlikely to be able to prevent it.

That's what I would do actually.

You: Tealy

DD: Tealy-Jones

New baby: Tealy-DPname.

It's the fairest way.

It's worth speaking to a solicitor about.

Oh missed Erin!

Erin and Adam
Erin and Max (actually like this)
Erin and Rory
Erin and Joe (Joseph)
Erin and Kit

Agree that none of the initial suggestions go with Erin very well

@PandemicImpact, @NameChange30 said something similar, so I am starting to understand the difference in style of names. Joel isn't one I'd have considered, but I was more drawn to that on your list. I may have to rethink my opinion on Max. Seems more popular than I thought!

@YoniAndGuy my name is currently Smith (it isn't, but it is a common as Smith for comparison, just not as nice). Tealy is my DP name. So as it stands, DD and I would be Smith, DP and baby would be Tealy, unless we marry or I look in to double surnames etc

Harry

Oh sorry, just used the names a bit randomly! So:

You: Smith

DD: Smith-Jones

new baby: Smith-Tealy

Basically both children have your name double barrelled with their dad's name, and you go back to yours... which would presumably make your new DP happier? - and maybe even your ex.

Max I'd say is really nice and a slightly more interesting version of a super popular easy short name such as Jack.

If you like Joel, how about Jago?

Jude and Toby also great. Otis? Felix?

Yoni I think you're assuming that "Smith" is the OP's birth surname but it's not, it's the name of her abusive XH that she now shares with him and her DD. So in your hypothetical scenario, I assume the OP would change her own surname as well as DD's, and reintroduce her birth surname?
eg OP goes from Smith to Jones
DC1 goes from Smith to Smith-Jones
DC2 will be Tealey-Jones
And DP will stay Tealey

Argh! Yes sorry. Though hopefully OP knows what I meant. Ok:

OP goes back to birth name - eg Ms Pudding

DD changes to Pudding-Smith

new baby is Pudding-newDPname

Or to go a step further DP double barrels too...?

DD Smith-Jones
OP Tealy-Jones
New DC Tealy Jones
DP Tealy Jones

So DD shares a name and whole family have something in common ....

Or to be really revolutionary, go back to maiden name , DP takes your maiden name, new dc has your maiden name and you double barrel DD name...?

Just to put things in to perspective, we found out about 8 years ago, that my Dad (my Maiden name) isn't really my Dad and Mum was a bit naughty. Whilst I still have a relationship with him and nothing changed for me, it isn't the same, so I kinda feel I don't belong to that name anymore if I were to go back.

Just wanted to share another reason for not particularly fighting to get my Maiden name involved.

I say this tongue in cheek - But I don't really belong anywhere! And even though I finally got the balls to leave my XH, it took me a while to get over my bitterness of my family being broken up.

There's some of my story x

Sorry we derailed your thread somewhat and you felt you had to tell us all this stuff!
It must have been upsetting to find out your dad wasn't your biological father I did laugh at your wording though, "Mum was a bit naughty"

What about your mother's birth surname?

Or just keep Smith and DC2 can be Tealey-Smith. Then you don't have to change your name or DD's.

Meanwhile back to the first name (!) do think any of the suggestions might make it to the shortlist?

All three are nice, solid names. I think Harry is the nicest but you can’t go far wrong. Maybe you could use one favourite as the first name and another as the middle?

Jack is lovely

@NameChange30 no worries, hopefully people will understand me a bit more now. Or feel awkward and stop talking about it! Haha Yeah, thought I'd keep it polite with calling her naughty. Her name isn't an option for me as I have Mummy issues

I am going to consider double surname options though, so thank you for helping me work stuff out.

Well, I totally get the difference between the choices and Erin. I think people have probably worked out DP surname by now, so can see Harry does work with it... I am thinking about Max, if people don't have a negative reaction to it! I will always have a soft spot for George. I want to like Jack, as there are good characters in films with the name. But the 2 Jacks I know have Mums that many mumsnetters would dislike.

If we have a girl, I like names like Lucy and Robyn. He likes Jessica.

FWIW I love the name Max and may well have used it if it had worked with my surname.
I also like Lucy

Thank you 🙂

Hi OP,

I think we have similar taste, Harry, Jack and Robyn are all on our list.

I think Harry is my favourite, they are all popular but they will never go out of style.

Others on our list are Max, Arthur and Rose

@Quercus3 Hey. Looks like we do Isn't it interesting how we both have Robyn, but not Robin on our lists.

Rose is lovely. That's my DDs middle name.

I have seen Max pop up a few times today. I really didn't want to like it, but it's growing on me.

I suppose if I don't use George, it could be a middle name...

I much prefer George

It is - I think Robin is a nice name for a boy, I just much prefer it for a girl!

Ah I love Rose, if we have a girl I think we will end up flipping a coin as we love both names so much.

Let us know what you end up picking, I'd love to hear 😊

I'm not a fan of George, I think the association with the royal family puts me off, but also... George Osborne and George W Bush (sorry!)
It's also very popular atm, it was the second most common boy's name in the latest baby name rankings. Harry was 5th and Jack was 8th, so they're all top 10.