Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Baby names

Find baby name inspiration and advice on the Mumsnet Baby Names forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

My name's been robbed... By accident!

66 replies

MetalheadMel · 31/10/2020 13:32

So this is possibly a bit daft but just need to share as I think my husband will leave me if I bring it up again!!! Our DS was born 3.5 years ago and we had a few name contenders before ultimately settling on one after much disagreement. I really do like this name but couldn't quite shake the feeling it was possibly the 'wrong' one. Anyway, to console me my husband said we could name a potential ds2 this other name so shut up about it. Anyway we are now pregnant again which is great... But one of my close mates has just named her baby the name I wanted...eeek!! She had no idea I liked this name so if wasn't 'taken' from me but ever since have just felt really upset. I can't even bring myself to say the name of her baby with her, which is just awful because I'm so so happy for her but I just feel green with envy. Am I being super daft? Has this happened to anyone? More importantly, how did you find peace with it?? X

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SavoyCabbage · 31/10/2020 13:35

You still call your own baby the name you wanted to call him all along. In the bigger picture of things, it doesn't change anything. That's what you want to call your baby.

Serenschintte · 31/10/2020 13:36

Gently yes you are being daft. Call your baby the name you choose. In my family there are three Dan’s and my sons have the same first name as their other relatives and in the same age order. Didn’t realize until later. It’s totally fine. No one minds and frankly if they do that on them

NationalShiteYear · 31/10/2020 13:38

You are being daft. Call your baby the name you wanted. End of

TheSeedsOfADream · 31/10/2020 13:40

Yes. You are.
Your friend didn't even know you liked it.

Original poster

MetalheadMel · 31/10/2020 13:41

Hi guys, I don't know about this. I take the point about families, I have a few similarly named cousins. However we're quite a small friendship group so if I called my son 'Bob' (not real name haha) aswell I think it would be a bit uncool. I wouldn't be happy if it had been the other way around... Unless again maybe I'm daft?? X

OP posts:

Original poster

MetalheadMel · 31/10/2020 13:42

@TheSeedsOfADream yes I know, Im not upset with her, how could I be? It's more upset with myself for being glum about it

OP posts:

Audreyseyebrows · 31/10/2020 13:44

I’m guessing it’s a fairly unusual name? My guess is bear or beau?
He will end up in school with a dozen others.

SlopesOff · 31/10/2020 13:50

If you are both pregnant (we are pregnant) you can choose a name each for your respective babies.

Or is it just one of you that is pregnant?

ProudAuntie76 · 31/10/2020 13:52

I’d just say “that’s such a coincidence as that’s DS2’s name, planned since DS1. I hope you don’t mind but that’s what we’ve been referring to him as since finding out we were having another DS and we can’t think of him as anything other than Bob now.”

And name him Bob.

(but don’t because Bob is an awful name).

For about 5 generations the oldest son and daughter in my Mam’s side of the family have all been called John and Mary. So John and Mary (Brother and Sister) both had families of their own and so there were two Johns and Marys in the next generation, then the four of them all went on to have John and Marys and now there are another eight and so on and so on for two hundred years.

I realised my Mam had several Auntie Marys and cousin Marys and she was a Mary and asked her WTF?!?! My Nan had a John and a Mary and so did her twin. Apparently no one batted an eyelid.

SmudgeButt · 31/10/2020 13:54

Lots of people have the same name, even ones that are close friends or related. I don't see what the problem is.

fyi - I have an unusual name but in my home town about half a dozen of us were all given the same name within a few months. I was 20 before I heard of anyone else from anywhere else with the same name.

Original poster

MetalheadMel · 31/10/2020 13:59

Thanks all who've responded you're very kind but I think I posted with a different expectation in mind. I'm not looking to be encouraged to name my child 'bob' in spite of this, I don't think that's fair. I would want them to have their 'own' name, not be 'Bob 2'. I think what I'm saying is that this name is lost to me now, and has anyone had a similar experience making peace with missing out on a name? Although judging by this responses I think I must be a bit singular in that respect! Xx

OP posts:

Alexandernevermind · 31/10/2020 14:00

Difficult one. Several of our family members share names as they are family names and given as tributes to grandparents. Cousins have the same names, even fathers and son, so we just say big-Bob and little-Bob. Can your name be adapted within the friendship group, can your friend's baby be Bob and your baby Bobby James. (Again, using Bob as an example). You are a tight little friendship group now, but these groups dont tend to be permanent.

Devilesko · 31/10/2020 14:04

Nobody owns a name so it can't be taken or robbed
Call your child whatever you like, they won't be the only one with the name, even if it's unusual.

crazyfrogs · 31/10/2020 14:04

It wasn't robbed, you don't own a name

Ideasplease322 · 31/10/2020 14:07

This happened to my aunts, baby girls born three weeks apart, aunt who lost out on name called her daughter something very similar (similar to rose and Rosa).

The story came out a few months later and they laugh about it - but you tell aunt 2 is still a bit annoyed she didn’t get there first!

Dixiee · 31/10/2020 14:08

You can name your kid anything you want, it's your baby. And if friend asks, just say I had this name in mind for dc1. You don't need to be held back just because of a friend. Plus why didn't you say at the time oh I was going to name that, plus names aren't really "I call shotgun" where people claim it whoever says it first. Just go for it.

hughthehedgehog · 31/10/2020 14:09

I would talk through the situation with your friend - think it would help you come to terms with it if you truly feel the name is lost to you and would make you stop feeling awkward around them. She may be able to help you come up with another name you love just as much as you evidently have similar taste!

Agree with others though that if you really did want to name your baby that if they were a true friend they would understand and not hold it against you

diddl · 31/10/2020 14:10

I'm not quite getting why you didn't use it the first time?

If your husband didn't like it then-was it just an empty promise to use it the next time?

So you don't want to use it now because it would seem like copying your friend even though there is nothing to stop you using it.

Find something else & use it as a middle name?

It is disappointing though when you have your heart set on something.

Sunsetdawn · 31/10/2020 14:12

It really doesn't matter what you call your child. Nobody owns a name, and each person with the name is an individual.
Call your baby something else if you want, but if you really like it, stick with it.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/10/2020 14:16

[quote MetalheadMel]@TheSeedsOfADream yes I know, Im not upset with her, how could I be? It's more upset with myself for being glum about it[/quote]
You’re allowed to have your feelings, @MetalheadMel - and having recognised them will make it easier for you to deal with them. I don’t think you need to avoid the name you love, and maybe deciding that you can still use this name will help you feel a bit better.

But be kind to yourself - don’t make yourself feel bad for having feelings - let it happen and work through it.

Happy791 · 31/10/2020 14:20

My friend named her son Archie, another friend was pregnant and very matter of factly just stated she would also be using the same name as it had always been the name she wanted for her son.There was no drama or upset, she was very honest and upfront and therefore no issues. Just do it x

2bazookas · 31/10/2020 14:21

You're being super daft :-) it really doesn't matter. When they get to school and all through life, they'll meet others with the same name.

pinkyredrose · 31/10/2020 14:24

You're being ridiculous.

Ismellphantoms · 31/10/2020 14:27

Bear in mind that your friendship might not last a lifetime. All my friends from my baby days have moved away and I've lost touch. If this friend disappears from your life, you'll kick yourself for not using the name you want.

Theworldisfullofgs · 31/10/2020 14:30

My best friend called her daughter the same name as my daughter. Its not a big deal unless you make it one.

Flip

1 2 3