Baby’s surname when you’ve kept your maiden name

[LuckyFlash]

Just after some opinions on what surname to give our baby. DH and I are married but I have kept my maiden name.

Let’s say my last name is Smith and DH’s last name is Jones. Our options are either:

1. Give the baby one name or the other
2. Call the baby firstname middlename Smith Jones
3. call the baby firstname middlename smith-Jones

Option 1 worries me as it may cause problems for the person who doesn’t share a last name with our child (probably me as DH’s last name is marginally cooler)

Option 2 is currently my favourite but I presume people would just default to jones meaning we’re essentially back to option 1?

Is it weird to go with option 3 and double barrel and all have different names?

I’m considering giving in and changing my name to DH’s simply for ease of us all having one name together...

What have others done in this situation?

DD has DH’s surname and my surname as a middle name. Works well for us.

@AnotherEmma

Yeah it's only fair that you do all the physical work and take all the risks with your health and changes to your body.. and then don't share a surname with your child 🙄

I never felt the need to share a name with her. We both know where she came from.

She’s the only person to ever have heard my heart from the inside.

I just meant it was important to him as he didn't get to have the amazing experiences I did and the name meant a lot to him and nothing to me 😊

It's a personal choice and one we are all happy with. I didn't see pregnancy as a chore and besides my surname is my father's anyway so 🤷!

No. It’s your surname. It has been from the minute it was given to you. Why do so many women think they can only be defined by a man?

Yeah I see that 👍
It never hurts to explain yourself/share your thoughts without being unpleasant though!

"my surname is my father's anyway"
🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I did 2

Married, kept own names, had kids, wanted to all have same name, DH took my name

We went for option 3 plus...double barrel with hyphen but DH has done it too so we all have the same double barrelled surname.

My fiancé and I have just had a baby. We are both divorced and I reverted back to my family name. Baby daughter is DB: his surname-my surname.

When we marry my fiancé will also DB so we are the same.

My other kids from my first marriage have their dad's last name but I'm more than happy to pretend that marriage didn't happen!

@S00LA is spot on.

When in doubt use the mother's name. Could also use Jones as a middle name and Smith as the surname but doubliing up with or without a hyphen is fine.

I was told by so many people that it was "illegal" to keep my own name including people in banks, building societies and company payroll that I should have pretty a t-shirt saying "Its my name, deal with it".

I put my surname as my child’s middle name and then he has my husband’s surname. I really didn’t want to double barrel and my husband’s surname went better with the name we chose. I also felt that nobody would question if he was my son due to so many mothers having different surnames to their kids, but have found at work that when a child has a different surname to their father it’s more of an issue for medical appointments etc as we then have to check parental responsibility....something we never do if a woman brings a child in with a different surname to her own

Option 3 - really should have done it without the hyphen. As my lastname is Spanish in origin we get away with it. My DP's lastname is extremely common which is the main reason I did it. DP actually wants to change his name so it is the same as our DC for that reason.

We've both kept our last names after marriage. DD has a double-barrelled surname. It's not been a problem and i don't think anybody really cares. Just had to jump through some hoops to get her a German passport (dual citizenship) because the naming laws aren't compatible with each other.

I double barrelled my name-his name. In laws were horrified but we explained it isn’t a problem as in our family we’re all on first name terms...

We're in this situation and I think we're having my name as a second middle name, so for example: Mary Jane Smith Jones

We thought about hyphenating but I actually originally hyphenated my name when we got married but didn't like it so changed it back! It doesn't really "go" and I think if I don't want to live with it my child shouldn't have to!