How do you honour someone when you don't like their names?

[coffeebreakkkk]

So DP and I are struggling with this, or maybe I am since the person I want to honour is my mother.

However, I don't like her first or middle name. Of course I have certain attachment and positive feelings about them but in general I could not use either to name our DD. I am wondering if I should just put one as a middle even though I really don't like them or find another way to honour her? I was thinking the using a name with the same initial would be nice but I also think that's barely honouring her.

Any suggestions please? xxx

I think Sylvie is lovely (not so keen on Sylvia though), could be first or middle name - though I’d go with middle name. If you go for Sylvia with an a or Janet then I would give it as a second middle name, alongside one you really like.

You could use her favourite flower for a middle name, we did this with DD2

I've name changed for this as it's pretty identifiable.

My name is the J name. Please please don't use this name. I've hated it all my life. Apart from Jan (which is also awful) there isn't an obvious shortening (I know someone mentioned Jenny upthread which is an official shortening, but isn't one that comes obviously). I hate the way it sounds - two sharp syllabulles and when I was a child it was a name that people's mothers were called. I eventually dropped the name and went by my middle name as an adult.

The reason why I was called it is because it's a feminine form of John and it has become tradition for the oldest child of the oldest child to be called a version of John. However all the others were boys (so John, Ian, Sion) but I was the first girl. When naming my dd (my first child) I wanted to continue this tradition but as a middle name, not a first name! The two names we considered were Johanna and Jana (both pronunced in the Slavic manner - so with a "y" sound rather than "j" sound at the beginning) and we went with Jana in the end.

I love the name Jane, not keen on Janet.

Sylvie is nice as well. Sylvie Jane. Beautiful. I thought you were going to say your mother was called Breda Agnes.

Sylvie is gorgeous.

Sylvie is gorgeous. Not sure I'd spell it with a 3 though

Maybe ask her to choose the middle name.

I wanted to name a daughter after my late mother and use Mum's middle name. Trouble is, combined with our surname there would have been five s's. Luckily we didn't have a daughter. Or a son come to that (we never did agree on a boy's name)

I’m assuming the name is Sylvia? If so I agree Sylvie is a lovely option.

It’s nice you want to honour your mother, but unless I loved a name I wouldn’t use it. Christine Lampard and Frank Lampard named their daughter Patricia after his mum and I think it’s not a nice name to saddle a child with.

Sylvie Jane - yes!

What about choosing something that really reminds you of your mum and using that in their name either as a first or middle name. E.g. 'Pearl' if they always wore pearl earrings or 'Lily' if that was their favourite flower. If they had a strong connection to a country or place then perhaps a name that derives from there? Their birth month or birth stone? Using the same initials or a name that has the same meaning as theirs?

Equally I've heard of people honouring someone by including elements of their character in a name (so for example using a name that means 'strong' if the person had that as an attribute).

Best of luck!

I am really not keen on Sylvie or Sylvia. I know the first one is slowly growing in popularity but there's something about it that is so unappealing to me, I would definitely not use it. I am not even considering it tbh.

I actually like the name Silvana but I do worry it'll get shortened to Silvie/Sylvie.

So far I think it would be a great option to have her suggest some middle names. She actually has great taste in names as I love mine and my siblings' names and they're regularly suggested here.

Don't use it. What's the point if you don't like it? Have a muslin embroidered with her names or something instead.

'We called him Bertram, after you, Robert.'

^ this, totally. If I was your mum, and you told me you were honouring me by using anything other than my name, I'd tell you not to bother because the thought has clearly come from obligation not desire.

And do people really have die-hard favourite flowers that define them?

Agatha Christie fan, Janet own name - Jane after Jane marple?

I don't understand this 'honouring people. Of course you don't need to use a name you dislike. It certainly doesn't mean you don't 'honour' her if you don't use it. I wouldn't bother with that but choose a different name you love.

Just to say, when DD was born. DH and I laughed at the idea of naming her after either of our mothers as the names were so dated. However, as is often noted fashions are cyclical because children are often named after grandparents. Fast forward a few years, and the names seemed more attractive.

How about sort-of taking the ends of both names and mashing them up to give Violet. (Which you are free to hate and disregard! Just an idea)

Middle names :)

How about Sylvie?

You'd be terribly hipster and ahead-of-the-curve if you used those names. I think they're both quite nice tbh (not mad keen, but I do like Sylvia a lot).

Oh @Graphista just what I was going to say.

I think it’s pretty pointless to use any name but the actual name if the intention is to honour your mother.

Although the suggestion to ask your mum for middle name ideas is a good compromise.

What are the names????

Sylvie is an awesome name!

Chic & French!

I agree with others that Sylvie is lovely but your DD isn't mine! As you like the names your mum chose for your siblings and you, could you recycle your own middle name in recognition of your mum's good taste maybe?