How do you honour someone when you don't like their names?

[coffeebreakkkk]

So DP and I are struggling with this, or maybe I am since the person I want to honour is my mother.

However, I don't like her first or middle name. Of course I have certain attachment and positive feelings about them but in general I could not use either to name our DD. I am wondering if I should just put one as a middle even though I really don't like them or find another way to honour her? I was thinking the using a name with the same initial would be nice but I also think that's barely honouring her.

Any suggestions please? xxx

How about Etta?
My great aunt was named Janet but always called Etta.

Any chance she was born in a name month (April, May, June, Julie). I think Jane or Janey would be lovely as a middle name also. I went with a varient and both grannied were happy (stuck two names together).

I count myself very lucky and fortunate as my mother is still around so I could get her input on this.

I kind of wanted it to be a bit of a surprise but given the fact I am having a difficult time with it I will definitely bring it up now. Maybe she even has some name suggestions for us and it might be a nice gesture that she had a say on her name.

I really don't want anybody honouring me by using my name. My dd's dd share the same name and it's really odd and confusing.

Sylvie and the S name are GORGEOUS

My dd and her dd have the same name.

I actually do like Jane but wonder if it would sound like it's just a filler middle name (no offence to anyone that has used it). I also have a small crush on Jana. What do you think of it?

For Sylvi3 I really haven't been able to find any variations that I like.

Her birth month actually works as a name (this is a great suggestion) and for films/shows she's actually really into murder/mystery shows so even her favourite show is Dexter and author is Agatha Christie so that might be a difficult one.

I like both the names anyway. Particularly the first one.
Bit if you dont then do something else. Mums favourite flower, birthstone, place she was born, favourite colour

Agatha is gorgeous.

Agatha June
Agatha May
Agatha April

Jane is such a lovely name. I can't imagine why you'd care if someone assumed it was a filler name? Youll know it isn't surely? Jana and Joni are also adorable.

Sylvie is truly lovely as well. It means "forest dweller" or similar, there are thousands of names with similar or related meanings.

This really isn't a difficult one op, look up both names and their meanings on behindthename.com and you'll see so many variants to choose from!

Either of those would be a good middle name. I think you have to do it, or not. Convoluted tributes "we called him Bertram after you, Robert..." only work on mumsnet. IRL people would not regard this type of thing as a tribute.

Sylvie

I understand your desire to surprise her but I think that there are an awful lot of grandmothers who would be utterly delighted to choose a middle name themselves. I wouldn’t discount that option as it may be really meaningful in its own way.

Could you use “Jay” as a nod to her J-name?

Sylvie is lovely

I think if you want to “honour” a relative by using their name as a middle name, you just have to go for it. When I was at school half my friends had embarrassing middle names that were family names (the other half’s middle names were Louise 😂) such as Margaret, Jean or Evelyn. How often do people really use their middle names anyway? Choose a first name you love and the middle name of your mum if that’s what you want to do and will make your lovely Mum happy, or could choose two middle names, with one you love and the other mum’s name
Eg. Emily Grace Janet Smith
I think if you start faffing around with using variations of the name (except for different sex eg Paul/Paula Brian/Bryony) or choosing something loosely related like birth month or favourite author it detracts from the “honour” you were trying to bestow in the first place.
(PS mine and my sister’s middle names are our two grandma’s names, both “old lady names”. My DDs middle name is my sister’s name- a nice but very 80s name).

Slyvie is nice it's very much on trend this being an ie ending name like Evie, Edie. Old lady names are very popular. But Vie would be nice too.

Janet I'm not so keen on is this her name or middle name. You could shorten it Jan ? It really depends on your name combination, some things would work Sophia Jan Mai Surname would be fine.

Or Isla Vie Surname ( other names available)

I’m so glad this is a thread I thought I was the only one!! I feel a lot of pressure to have my Dad’s name as my future son’s middle name but both my husband and I don’t really like it! I sometimes wonder who I would be doing it for - my dad or his family who will probably expect it! I just don’t feel a variation or a ‘tribute’ name will cut it for them. I know it should be whatever we want but it is so difficult when you feel like you would be letting family down!

What was your DMs favourite flower /tree/bird/colour? Could you use that as inspo?

I love sylvie 🥰

Ok further to my post above where I think you should just go for it 😂 if you really really don’t want to, another idea could be to use the same initials? So if mum’s name is
Sylvie Janet Smith
Then baby could be
Sophie Jasmine Taylor
Both SJ.

My friend did this for example her name is Laura Margaret (LM) and her husband is Steven Mark (SM) so their daughter is Sophie May (SM like sad) and their son Logan Matthew (LM like mum)! Not real names!

If she's still alive just let her give your dc a middle name! Honouring, IMO, is what you do when you have deceased relatives.

I know a Janna (warning though janner is a slang word in bits of the westcountry)

How about Janie? Jan? Or what about naming after your mum’s own mum - is that an option?

Have you just asked her? My mam hates her name and if I told her I was naming a dd that she wouldn’t want me to.

Maybe ask her for a list of names she likes and they’ll be one on that which you are comfortable with. Good luck

Sylvie is gorgeous. I think Silver is also an acceptable middle name but that might just be me! Not so keen on the other name I know a Nettie which is quite sweet.