My (26f) sister called her new dog a name i was hoping to call a future child.

[tinyhalo]

I’m devastated.

We’d spoke a good few years ago so i’m unsure if she even remembers. We are not pregnant but i’m hopeful in the near future we will be in a position to start.

I had a rough adolescence that has affected my life and is still affecting me now, in my 20s. Its like i’m 5+ years behind everyone else. I know there’s no set time or age to do anything but looking at my friends and siblings, I am behind in terms of life experience. My partner of almost three years is my first serious relationship.

And this name was a symbol of a life i could have, that one day i’d wake up in my house with my daughter and boyfriend and no matter what was going on, i’d have moved forward in my life. It was a bit of hope to cling too in my dark days and I feel like with the name gone, so has that future.

The name isn’t an overly human or animal one, I’d say it’s similar to the likes of ‘Tilly’, where you would hear it as a woman’s name but also a friend would have a cat called Tilly. If that makes sense.

I guess I’m hoping that someone will tell me, that in the future, it’ll be okay to call my daughter the same name as her dog.

But you might have a boy?

I would still use the name.

You aren’t even pregnant yet

You could change your mind

Your partner gets to have a say in what you name your baby.

There are millions of other names

You can still use it

My DB's wife and one of his dc have the same names as two of our childhood pets. However, neither pet were living when DB met his wife.

If you do decide to use it, I'm sure it will be fine. But by the time you have a child you may go "off" it or fall in love with another name and might want to use the original name as a middle name.

How do you know you’ll have a girl?

You sound like you’re in a bad place so I’d address that before ttc. You’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on a child you haven’t yet conceived to heal your past.

You can use the name if the time comes - you may change your mind on names, you may have a boy, your dp may not like it - just don't worry at the moment. My friend called her dog after her dead husband, I think that's far weirder!

You’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on a child you haven’t yet conceived to heal your past.

Agreed. Also, the main point that stands out to me from your OP is that if you have a son, he'll be regarded as a disappointment.

This is a bit mad, sorry.

You’re not even pregnant.

There are millions of names. If you want your ‘maybe one day in the future’ daughter named after your sister’s dog then do it.

If you don’t, pick another one. A name is just a name. Not a symbol of hope for a better life. That’s a LOT to put on an not-yet-conceived, non-existent baby.

You could always call her Hope!

We’ve picked a potential name for a boy

This is a very strange thing to be upset about. You're not pregnant. You might not have children. You might not have a girl. It's just a name - nothing stopping you using it one day anyway.

@AnneLovesGilbert

How do you know you’ll have a girl?

You sound like you’re in a bad place so I’d address that before ttc. You’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on a child you haven’t yet conceived to heal your past.

We’ve also picked a potential boys name, I’m bothered about a girl because she’s took the girls name I wanted.

Thank you for your advice, once lockdown is lifted I’m in line to see a counsellor which i’m hopeful will help me as it has in the past

• You’re allowed to use the same name
• dogs don’t live that long relatively speaking

@ZoeCM

You’re putting an unfair amount of pressure on a child you haven’t yet conceived to heal your past.

Agreed. Also, the main point that stands out to me from your OP is that if you have a son, he'll be regarded as a disappointment.

Oh no I’m sorry it came across that way! We’ve picked a boys name too, I would just be grateful if I can conceive and have a healthy baby. It’s just because my sister has used the name I wanted if we had a daughter

I’m bothered about a girl because she’s took the girls name I wanted

Well, she didn't take it now did she? There wasn't one of them and she grabbed it first.

She called her dog a name she likes
You happen to want to call a potential dd that name.

There really is nothing to even think about here.

If and when you have a daughter, call her the name if you still love it.

@roarfeckingroarr

This is a very strange thing to be upset about. You're not pregnant. You might not have children. You might not have a girl. It's just a name - nothing stopping you using it one day anyway.

Thanks for replying, I know it’s nuts to be upset about this, I am waiting to see a counsellor.

When I was six my parents moved house. They promised me at the new house I could have a dog!!! She was a Cairn terrier and I named her Roxie. I loved her like a sister (because I didn't have a sister). When I was thirty and my first child came, I named her Roxie. You love that name, you use that name.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

I’m bothered about a girl because she’s took the girls name I wanted

Well, she didn't take it now did she? There wasn't one of them and she grabbed it first.

She called her dog a name she likes
You happen to want to call a potential dd that name.

There really is nothing to even think about here.

If and when you have a daughter, call her the name if you still love it.

Thank you, I guess I didn’t want to see it that way as it felt so much like mine but I know it’s irrational to think that way.

Thank you for replying

@GeorgiaGirl52

When I was six my parents moved house. They promised me at the new house I could have a dog!!! She was a Cairn terrier and I named her Roxie. I loved her like a sister (because I didn't have a sister). When I was thirty and my first child came, I named her Roxie. You love that name, you use that name.

Thank you so much for your reply, it’s nice hearing your story.

My family members had a dog and a son with the same name at the same time .
It's fine OP just use the name if you love it

Don't have a child in the hope that will give your life meaning. It does not work like that. First make a good life for yourself. Then have children.

OP, I'm sorry for misunderstanding.

every second dog we meet has my daughters name lol she just rolls her eyes

You will come to feel differently about this OP. By the time you come to TTC you may be with a partner who doesn't like the name, or because you like the pet so much it won't feel like your child's name, or you may be happy to go ahead and use it.

I had a friend called Caleb, which comes from the Hebrew word for dog, because his parents never expected to be parents and had named their dog Benjamin ( which means son). So as they'd already named their dog 'Son' they named their son 'dog' as they had already used their name choice themselves for their own pet.

I know some one who has just named a puppy hopefully not the same person!

I'm sure your sister didn't mean to upset you, did you tell her the name before?

As you're not pregnant yet and you may have an army of boys, I would let this go.

Tastes change, you might not even like the name when the time comes. Or, the baby might not even look like that name. My dd didn't suit any of our top three names, so we had to come up with something else!