My (26f) sister called her new dog a name i was hoping to call a future child.

[tinyhalo]

I’m devastated.

We’d spoke a good few years ago so i’m unsure if she even remembers. We are not pregnant but i’m hopeful in the near future we will be in a position to start.

I had a rough adolescence that has affected my life and is still affecting me now, in my 20s. Its like i’m 5+ years behind everyone else. I know there’s no set time or age to do anything but looking at my friends and siblings, I am behind in terms of life experience. My partner of almost three years is my first serious relationship.

And this name was a symbol of a life i could have, that one day i’d wake up in my house with my daughter and boyfriend and no matter what was going on, i’d have moved forward in my life. It was a bit of hope to cling too in my dark days and I feel like with the name gone, so has that future.

The name isn’t an overly human or animal one, I’d say it’s similar to the likes of ‘Tilly’, where you would hear it as a woman’s name but also a friend would have a cat called Tilly. If that makes sense.

I guess I’m hoping that someone will tell me, that in the future, it’ll be okay to call my daughter the same name as her dog.

I teach a mature student called Oscar, whose dog is also called Oscar - the dog belonged to his wife before they met. Lovely bloke, and lovely dog!

DP was given the same name as his grandparents dog. He doesn't mind! It was a nice dog, apparently

Don’t be so hard on yourself OP!! It’s fine to be a bit irrationally annoyed/sad by that, just as long as you recognise that the situation is fine really—you’ll have your lovely baby someday, and when that happens the name will be the least of your concerns. You can stick with it if you want, or you may even find it no longer suits. Most children would love to have the same name as a dog they know, and they have very different lifespans.
You’re doing great, and there’s nothing wrong with being upset for a bit as long as you work your way through it. I don’t think it’s the name of the dog really that is getting to you—it sounds more like you’ve built an image of a perfect future, and it upsets you to have anything potentially intrude on or tarnish it? I totally understand this, but you need to work on accepting that plans never go from a straight to b, and that’s ok. Don’t let the pursuit of the perfect spoil the great!

Hope you’re feeling more yourself soon

My great niece was born a year after I got my dog, they both have the same name, it causes no issues at all

Oh and I see her a lot as I am very close to her father

The dog could be dead by the time you have a female child.

@LadyLairdArgyll

every second dog we meet has my daughters name lol she just rolls her eyes

Luna?

I think it’s understandable to be a bit miffed but it’s also ok to still use the name. DD has the same name as DSIL’s cat. Just a coincidence, we picked a name and were not thinking of family pets. SIL reminded us when replying to the birth announcement - no one seems to think it’s weird (and if they do they haven’t told us!)

My son and my fathers dog have the same name. Didn’t even think about the dog when I named DS

My mum rescued a cat before I was even pregnant and she was asking for opinions on names. We all gave ideas and she said one she liked and I said no don't call him that, that's the name me and DH like if we have a son. She laughed and said it's a lovely name and she'd just change it if we did.

Fast forward about 5 years and we now have a 3 year old with the same name 🤷🏼‍♀️ lol it doesn't bother any of us. The cat gets nicknamed "fat cat" a lot anyway

We had a rescued cat who arrived with a human name. Odd name for a cat but she answered to it so we never bothered to change it.

A year or two later NDN gave birth to a daughter, gave her the same name as the cat, and asked us to rename the cat "to avoid any embarrassment.". I said we were not at all embarrassed , she said we don't want people thinking we named the baby after your cat. I said, Well, we all know you didn't. But if it bothers you what people think, choose another baby name.

  We both stuck with the name and  nobody cared.

@MrsSpookyM I predict Lola, everyone seems to have a dog called Lola 😂

To answer the OP though, I’d still use the name, dogs only live about 12 years anyway. Just prewar you’re sister that this will be the case.

Ignore the dog and if you have a baby girl one day, use the name of your choice.

In some ways it is good, she obviously liked the name too, this way she is less likely to name any dd which she has with that name. By the time you are pregnant and have a girl and the girl is old enough to know the dog will probably be at least 3 or 4. As pp said most dogs don't live too long and until your dd (if you have one) is a teenager she probably won't care too much that her aunt's dog has the same name.

Good luck getting some support OP. Chin up xx

You can still use the name OP. Try not to stress to much about it.

When my daughter was born she didn’t suit any of the names we had thought of so we named her something totally different and the shortened version of her name is the same as my Grandma’s dog - I didn’t actually think about that until we took her to introduce her to my Grandma and she pointed it out!

Could you speak to your sister and explain how much the name means to you, and ask her if she could rename her dog?

Harsh responses on here.

I'd still use it - just say you'd been talking about it for years. What's the worse that can happen, you call your daughter and the dog comes too!

I had a very similar name to my nanny's dog. Think Sue and Susie type similarities.
I thought it was hilarious as a kid - as me and the dog would both respond when she called either of us.
I've no idea who was names first.
Use it anyway if the time comes for you to name a daughter and it will be fine.

If it's Lola, I know a lovely girl called Lola so it is a human name anyway. This is one of those things that in lockdown probably seems like an issue, but really isn't- I've found myself getting stressed by things lately that normally I would take in my stride. Be kind to yourself, and counselling sounds great to help you with your very difficult past.

I’d tell your sister how you feel and if she doesn’t change it, use it anyway!

I would pick a lengthened version of the name and then call the hypothetical daughter the shortened version. On a positive note dogs only live around 13-15 years so at some point only your child will be called this name.

My daughters christian and middle names are the same as pets a relative had at the time it didn’t even occur to me until he said I can’t believe you named her after my dogs 😆 it’s fine OP if you like the name use it 😊